Community post

Yeah I got what you meant, that she was saying it about your baby and not her own, who knows what would make her say that, maybe cos she's had a baby before she's less anxious than you are, obviously you'd be anxious that everything will go well, which is perfectly natural especially first time, and she's reading that the wrong way and thinks you're not as excited about it, and she's just super excited for you? Doesn't seem like she meant it in a bad way, don't let what anyone says make you feel bad about the choices you make or how you feel about your own pregnancy, we're all individual!
Just like with announcing it early, some people like to wait, whereas others tell early so they have support around them in the early stages and if something g does go wrong. I announced early with all 3 of my pregnancies, my 2 boys were fine and when I m/c at 6 weeks with my other pregnancy I was grateful to have the support. Each to their own, I couldn't keep it secret even if I tried! Haha!

Athena - if nothing else, your friend sounds confused. Maybe she's just one of those people who doesn't express herself well, but try not to let her bother you. I understand your not wanting to tell until the 1st trimester is behind you. We used to tell people when we got to 10 weeks, but since my last few losses I just can't do it. People start to look at you with too much pity when you tell them you're pregnant then have to come back later and say something bad happened. I hate that look, and I hate the look of people who are thinking we should just quit trying. We just now told my mother in law (thankfully she didn't say anything out of the way), and we only did it because we won't be traveling like we planned to her house next month. People at church either have guessed I'm pregnant or just think I'm fat - I don't really care. And after losing 5 babies, there is no support group. People tend to back away from you like you have the plague, and no one knows what to say. Even my dh doesn't get it.

Ok, enough bitterness for today.

Just wanted to add some good news. My brother in law and his wife had their baby early this morning. Alyssa Grace, she was born weighing 7lbs. She's right at 3 weeks early. Her mom's water broke unexpectedly around 3am and they rushed her in to surgery. Both mom and baby are doing great. Wish we were there to snuggle and love on the baby, but I guess we'll have to wait until Christmas.

Hey everyone! The board's really quiet this weekend. Hope everyone's okay.

Went on that double date with my friend Friday. She's now 25 weeks and was whining the whole time. "I can't move. I pee all the time. I get up during the night so many times. BLAH BLAH BLAH." So many people commented on her belly asking how far along she was, if it was a boy or girl, etc. I could barely stand it. It was so painful hearing her complain and not even be grateful for the blessing. She asked about us to which I informed her I experienced a miscarriage a month ago and that today (Friday) would have been my first OB appointment. She said, "oh. Okay." And changed the subject. It was like it didn't even phase her.

I'm having a rough time. Today I would have been 8 weeks. I know it's not good to count what could have been, but it's so hard NOT to. No matter how hard I try to forget, I can't. I even keep thinking "what if I'm still pregnant???" I know it's a ridiculous thought, but I still can't help but think that I got a positive on a digital the day I started spotting. I know, I know. It's ridiculous. I haven't tested since before I started bleeding and I don't need to. I just need to come to terms with the fact that I lost the baby and that's that.

Another unusual thing, though, is that my boobs are not sore at all. I know I've been sick, but I don't know if that'd keep PMS symptoms away. I O'd two days late this cycle, so I'm expecting AF two days late which means she's due this Friday. I normally have sore boobs at least a week before she comes. Now? Nothing. I know I'm not pregnant because my BFP cycle, my boobs were killing me starting at 4DPO.

I just hope and pray my cycles go back to being normal, predictable, and consistent. I don't think I can handle it going any other way.

Sorry for the rant guys..

@football - you are entitled to your rant my lovely as that's why we come here, for support & for us to listen! Our minds play tricks & its easy to wonder away, I do it all the time.
Wish we were there to go on a double date with you girl! Xx

Football - oh, hon! I'm so sorry your double date was tough. Sometimes even well meaning people just don't know what to say when they're faced with our pain. Believe me, I've been there. Like Bean said, wish we were closer and could go out together. There's nothing as soothing as talking to someone who's been where we are, and who understands all the crazy, pent-up feelings we have. Thinking about where you would have been in your pregnancy and questioning whether you're pregnant or not is all part of the grieving process. I pray for healing for you...the emotional pain can be something that takes time to get past, and I continue to pray you'll once again experience the miracle of pregnancy and soon hold a sweet little one in your arms. You can always PM me if you need to talk. , , and

Thank you ladies. I so wish we all lived nearby each other. Thank you for the support.

Should I be worried that I feel no PMS symptoms yet? I keep reading these horror stories that women don't get their periods back for months and sometimes even have to go to the doctor to kick start it back. I'm just stressed that things won't go back to normal and that that will negatively impact TTC. :/ I don't want to wait any longer for my sticky BFP!

Hey Ladies,

So glad AF is over with and I'm on to a new cycle. I had a nice weekend with my honey and his kids. We spent it relaxing and hanging out with one another. Kids got along for the most part. My dp's son is almost 12 and I think puberty is hitting early because his attitude is getting pretty bad lately. My fertile window is March 30th - April 2. Would be funny/great to conceive on April fools day! Hey I will take any day that I can conceive that I can get. :) I had a weird but cool pregnancy dream last night. I know it's my mind wanting a baby so much that I keep having dreams that are pregnancy related. My bff is having her scheduled c section in 5 days from now. We spoke on the phone today and just cried tears of happiness together. I am over the moon for her and her husband who had been ttc for 7 years for their first baby and finally did IVF and it took on the first try. She is having a baby girl. I can't wait to see pictures of her. They live 8 hrs away from me. :( Wished she lived closer.

@Football ~ I'm sorry you are going through a tough time right now. You are allowed to vent, rant, cry and mourn as long as you need to. I understand. When I had my miscarriage at the ER they sent me home stating that I was having an incomplete miscarriage. So of course I wondered for a few days after that if I still could be pregnant. When I took a hpt about 2 weeks after the mc and it was stark white I knew then that I was for certain no longer pregnant. I needed full clarity otherwise my mind can wander and wonder. I was so mad, sad and devastated when it all happened. The only thing that really helped me pull out of it was time. It's only been a few months and it still hurts sometimes believe me. All I can do is pray that I get that chance again to be pregnant but this time carry full term and deliver a happy and healthy baby. We are here for you. I pray that you continue to find inner peace around it all. I trust that if it's meant to be it will be. I do hope you get your bfp very soon.

@Lschrader ~ I hope your weekend getaway has been fun.

How is everyone else doing? Hope you are having a great weekend.

Football - I think the best thing you can do is talk to your dr. There are tests they can do to see how your body is handling the miscarriage. They can draw blood and test your HCG levels. Sometimes it can take awhile for those levels to drop down and your body to realize it's no longer pregnant. I think it will help put your mind at ease.

Waiting for your body to get back to normal can be hard. Last year I waited 6 months before I had a normal period. I felt like I was growing old and gray during that time...but of course I wasn't. (At least not at the rate it felt like!)

Whatever you decide to do, we're here for you.

@football oh sweetheart what a tough time you're going through, just give yourself all the time in the world to deal with it and for your body to get back to itself again, you definitely can't rush these things. People just don't understand what a m/c is like. For me, after losing my darling boy to SIDS a year before, then miscarrying our next bub, the pain from the miscarriage was just the same as the pain from losing a child here with us, and needs the same amount of time, love and patience to get past it! We're here for you and send you lots of love! xxx

@miracle oh how lovely for your BFF! It is so heartwarming to see someone you love get their dream baby after a long struggle, a good friend of mine went through 6 years of IVF before finally conceiving their gorgeous boy, I swear I would cry every time I saw her pregnant I was just so happy she finally got there!

AFM got my second bloods back today, so first level on Thursday was 786, second level on Saturday was 1880 :) midwife very happy with that increase, progesterone is great at 29.9, all results were wonderful! First ultrasound in 2 days, OMG so excited!!!! My son now hugs me and the baby in a funny way, one arm around my neck for 'the mummy hug' and the other around my tummy for 'the baby hug' he is so excited he hugs my belly first when he sees me now hahahaha :)

Morning! It's bright & sunny here but freezing! I love the sun it makes me happy.

@Football- Hope you get the answers you need soon & more importantly that BFP but as we all know its a journey until we do. Fingers crossed you do soon.

@miracle- glad you are out the other side of af now and enjoying time with your family. 5 days until you meet your friends little miracle girl, how wonderful!

@mrsrogers- you have had a struggle yourself mrs! So happy for you & your bfp.

It has been quiet on the board this weekend so it means we have all been busy bees with family, work & fun. Hope all you ladies are well.

AFM: Had a lovely week off work catching up with family & friends. Had my ultrasound last Wednesday & the lady said my ovaries looked good, womb lining etc so that's good news. DH has his SA on Wednesday. He has not slept much last few nights, I hope its not because of this. Got my next xray in April to check for any blockages etc. I know its sounds really daft but I really hoped that I would catch the egg before the last tests came around as I've obviously been under a lot of pressure (pressure I put on myself) to conceive in the last few years since the mc. I have relaxed so much in last few months and maybe its all psychological our fertility issues. I have allowed myself to get quite hopeful this cycle as there has been a lot different symptoms but as we all know it can mean nothing!! Thankfully I don't have to wait long, a few days, to see if af arrives.

Off to my ballet exercise class which always starts my Mondays off well! Have a good day/night ladies.