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@topo no giving up now lady, next month is your month. It's always darkest just before dawn and God will carry you if cannot continue. I have to take a month off myself, it's a month to renew. :-D what did your doctor say?

@jsx it's sounds like you had a great weekend. That's the thing I miss about being close to home is the weekend bar-b-q's, grad parties, weddings, and quincenera's (my ex is Mexican so we were always in quinera circle) ...

@antsmom sorry the witch got you. There is always next month. :-D

AFM: decided to get off the couch and do something today. DH and I took the dog on a 3 mile ruck on this trail. It was great to be alone in my thoughts (had my headphones on) but great to know I wasn't alone ...DH was right there. As I was walking a deer stepped out and stood there to watch us, he was looking at me and I was looking at him for the longest time. He never ran, he stayed there with his eyes locked on me. When we got home, I asked DH if he saw it and he said no. I guess it was a moment for me and the deer because DH pointed out that if our dog would have saw it, he would barked or something....but he didnt. Maybe it was my mom watching me and it was her way of letting me know that she's here watching me in this difficult time. I kept looking back at the deer and it never moved it stayed watching me and watching it until I couldn't see it anymore. #thingsThatMakeYouGo hmmmmm

@pieces -super glad ypu had a great hike today. That thing with the deer is amaze balls. Super hmmm I wonder what that was about. I havent gotten af but im not due until Friday.

Ill try again next nonth. Cycle 2 of clomid.

Hi everyone.. been laying down for 2 days with horrible AF cramps. I'm sure tomorrow will be better and things will ease up a bit. Not even caring this month.. going to just relax.. I will temp just to confirm O but seriously I need to let it go... I'm not giving up. Just letting go of the outcome... My life is great wether I have a baby or not. I could go either way at this point in my my life... Either way I have lots to be grateful for...

@Jxst ~ Glad you had a good weekend. :)

@Ants ~ Your still in..... How many dpo are you?

@Topo ~ I'm sorry your feeling down hon. I understand the struggles. You are not a failure.. Look at all your doing in your ttc journey.. Your husband is sees how much you are trying and he loves you. Keep having fun bedding and trust that GOD has plans for you ... for all of us.. I keep telling myself that b/c it is the truth. If it was meant to be then it will be.. Keep doing your active part.

@Pisces ~ Your walk with your DH and dog sounded peaceful and full of grace. I looked up deer and it's message for you in the animal totem world. I thought it seemed perfect for you at this time.. here is the link to the page I was reading. I hope you can check it out.
http://www.spiritanimal.info/deer-spirit-animal/

Copy and paste it.

@miricalmomma i been so down latley my dd is being a lil bad ass and i been so emotional becuase she is just so mean to dh idk what to do. my dh doesnt see he goes in and out of memory loss remember when he had his heart attack he lost his short term memory for all i know in his mind i am just a failure i am trying to be postive again we all know it is just so dame hard. Sorry about ur cramps babe i felt like that after the two iui when my period came both times i just laid there i can imagine what u r going through.

@piecesgirl i know babe gotta keep pushing i just feel so negative i got to find my positve streck becuase i dnt like this feeling. i love the dear story on ur walk babe i totatlly believe it was a spirt how awsome i remember being at the cemetary rose hills in Whittier Ca look it up very nice visiting my grandpa and well sitting there two dears came down from the hills playing one stopped and stared at me even came a lil close the feeling i got was so awsome so i new it was my grandpa telling me it was okay. how awsome hun i hope u are feeling better let me know whats going on with the doc.

AFM just a lil emotional rollercoaster again for the 6th morning i forgot to temp ugh fml damit idk how i always foget. nothing new hoping and praying for someting to happen soon something even if it was a chemical me and doc need to know if my tubes are working idk i dnt beleive in the dame hsg test it told him about the scar tissure around my uterus and when i went for the surgery get this there was none where the hsg test stated there was awkward i know. i got back to see him on the 3rd of july lets see what he says about the whole thing i only got a lil bit of info.

@miraclemamma

Today im 14 dpo, I tested again yesterday and BFN. I dont think this month its going to be.

Ill have to start my second roynd of clomid and 100 mg.

The worst part is that my family and close friends knew I had to test Saturday and no one has even asked.

Feeling really depressed today could also be pms.

@ants mom sorry about the BFN and lack of support from friends. Sometimes of you haven't ever had problems TTC then it's hard to think of what others go through. The lady who did my TTC reading was sooooo right about this journey changing me as a person. It has been one of the hardest, most frustrating experiences of my life but in the end God will reward my struggle, I believe that with all if my heart and God says if we just have the faith of a mustard seed (which über small) then he will open te windows of heaven and poor out blessings, so many that our buckets will be over flowing. Just keep the faith. :)

@lsch did you O yet? I was wondering about that yesterday. Sorry I haven't been around much this past week. Did you get your thermometer?

@NCAT did you test again? AF is due today right?

@miracle sorry about the cramps. Glad that you are keeping the faith! It is so hard to do so but we always find it somewhere inside to keep going even when the goal seems miles away. You DO have a great life and you DON'T need a baby to make it better. God IS going to reward you for patience and because you are an amazing woman with SO MUCH to offer a child. God knows that you are the person to raise our next President ...lol...not mentions all these great God-Mothers and Aunties in this room :-D
THANK YOU SO MUCH for that link, I just finished reading it and it was so amazing! I was starting to think that I imagined it but I really think that deer was looking at me. And DH pointed something out to me, he said he never sees deer unless he's with me. When we were dating he lived out on the outskirts of town in a new community, at night I would see like 50 deer just sitting in the grass, they never ran in front of my car just stood off to the side. Hear in Maryland, we live by a park and even during the day, they come out on the side of the road when I am in the car. I thought he was just being funny but last night he said with so much seriousness "I think they are drawn to you in some way" and then you sent that link. **interesting **.

@topo everything is going to be ok. When was the last time you had an HSG? I have been looking online for ways to help scar tissue naturally, I am trying to prepare myself mentally if that tube has scar tissue. If I find anything, I will give it to you. In the mean time I have ordered ova boost to improve egg quality, my doc mentioned that it could be a couple of bad eggs and that why they didnt last??? Hey anything is possible.

Where is my Baby Bump-a-licious Club??? Any new bump pics?

AFM: HSG Thursday :-D Jury Duty tomorrow **crowd boooooos**

piecesgirl i had the hsg test remember before the iui back in january that said scar tissue around uterus and potental right tube blocked but could of been spasum but when doc went in no scar tissure near uturus i am a sceptic now that the hsg is not 100% so who knows i just gotta get one get something to know if these eggs are okay i am taking the egg thing and cervical from that one thing we ordered who knows what the major malfunction is but good or bad eggs babe u know them tubes is working luv so lets not boo to that. yes please let me know if u find anything out i heard that accupuncture is good for that then again if they siad standing on my head would help i would go for that to at this point anything i wish i was a dame rich person so i can do the ivf just one chance is all i want dnt need 20 just give me one chance ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh feeling powerless and hopeless

@topo i knew you had had an HSG, I just couldn't remember exactly when it was. I think maybe that since the HSG was wrong about the uterus that maybe you should maybe get another one. And I didn't know the HSG looked at the uterus as well...well I hope they don't find anything wrong with this one lonely tube **praying** Love Bug you have to get a positive face on and get ready for the battle of TTC. Failure has never been an option so get your game face on and lets get a strategy. I had IVF before and guess what I got after $9k ....not a damn baby that's for sure....wasn't what God wanted for me. I Believe IVF is for those NO OTHER OPTIONS not an easy way out and that what I tried the EASY way out. And things that come easy are appreciated as much and struggle builds character and maybe God is building my character...OUR character. Besides with IVF it like $9k per 30% chance ...just one. I chose tubal reversal because I get a 30% chance EVERY month. I knew this wasn't the easy road..so here I am, never giving up hope. It's ok to be discouraged, but don't let go!

@pieces

Super nice words , I will not loose hope. I know Im a great mother to my son and will have the honor to have another one. It is just when God wants.

Waiting a call from the gyno to tell me when I have to go in. Either this Friday or Monday to get the prescription and I guess so that he double checks im not pregnant.

@pieces, I had AUNT FLO on Friday, IT's horrible... the only good thing about this is that my period is normal, so the Dr. said that for sure I will ovulate this month. ( I didn´t have menstruation last month, I tought I was pregnant, tests were negative... so...) However, Im really positive about this.
Really quiet and above all, hopeful.
Lets pray about all this, all our concern and WE HAVE TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN!!!

My best wishes to all of you girls... God bless you all!