Community post

Mel, I'm so sorry...I hope you guys can work through whatever is going on with your hubby. At least he is wanting to see a counselor. Hang in there - it seems that emotions are always magnified during the holidays and settle down once we get into the new year. I hope you stick around on the board and I too wish I lived closer so I could be there for you. I don't think any of us here mind giving support for un-baby-related stuff.

TTC stuff first:

AF showed this morning, finally! (barely a day late, but I'm impatient and like a good routine. Haha.)

Northern - I worry I'll have that problem with the Instead Cups too. It might be TMI, but my Fiance makes a lot of.... stuff. Lol. That's actually part of the reason I wanted to use them - I feel like so much of his stuff falls out, because there's so much! And if he only has a few good sperm, and a lot of stuff, then that's just a bad ratio. Haha. So I would definitely practice putting them in before there's any stuff involved! I think maybe if I do that, plus stick my butt in the air, maybe that will help (I have a retro uterus too).

Stillfun - so can you take mucinex pills instead? Or robitussin pills? I know that's what mucinex is supposed to do, thin mucus. And that would be way less gross than drinking robitussin. Lol

Now, non-TTC....:

Mel I'm with stillfun, I can carry some for you as well!

My Fiance and I have really rough times, too. It gets so hard when you're TTC, because you wonder, am I stupid for still trying to make a baby while we are uneasy? I know in my heart that we will stay together, and with the odds seeming to be against us for TTC, I don't want to waste the time just because we're fighting.

If your DH wants to go to marriage counseling, do it, run there, do it immediately! If he says he's been unhappy for the past couple of years, that is bad news. It's great that he's actually telling you that, you don't want him to silently begrudge you until it is too late to fix. I know that in your opinion it might be silly that he feels he doesn't get enough attention (my fiance and I have the same fight!) but it's about his perspective. That is what's important. If he feels he isn't getting enough attention, then he isn't. It probably doesn't mean you have to make more of an effort even, just a different effort. My fiance and I came to a realization that what constitutes as attention to me, isn't the same to him. If he were to do the laundry, that would mean the world to me, because it would take the burden off of me, and to me, that is a great way to show love. But when I do the laundry, he doesn't view it as an exhibit of my love for him, he sees it as a chore that is getting done, regardless of who does it. We just see it differently. Knowing that, we can make sure we are doing what the other person needs from us, to feel our love. A third party is perfect for figuring out that kind of thing - they can listen to both of you, and basically translate you to each other.

Just don't give up on each other.

How long have you guys been together?

Well said Supersue, DH and i also have the same fight, he sometimes tells me i dont love him and i dont show it and that i am only with him because we have been togther for so long and and dont know how to live without him, to me it sounds obsurd, i think WHAT i show you every day how much i love you i have never loved another human as much as him but he see's my way of showing him love in a different way, MEN they are worse than us with there feelings sometimes, I am fighting with DH right now because we are painting a fence and when he went on his fishing trip i chose the paints and now he has the shits cause the colour is too light and he doesnt want to use it meanwhile it's $600 worth of paint and now we are ringing around to find out how to darken it, I am the bad one of course because what i thourght was plenty dark in the shop isnt so dark after all, Who cares get some black paint to darken it i will paint the fence in Christmas day if it makes you happy, its not the end of the world its only fricken PAINT!
Anyway enough with the rant, still no BBT drop so no O yet i am getting impainent, Supersue sorry about stupid AF but another cycle is a fresh start i say!!

That was really well-said Supersue, and some really great advice. Hope you are doing ok Mel...

Supersue, sorry that AF arrived...on to the next cycle though! The active ingredient in Robitussin is guaifenesin, so I would think that anything with that in it would work?

Give the Instead cups a try, but maybe just get a small pack to start. I went crazy and bought a pack of 6 and another of 12 or something that I doubt I will ever use.

AFM - I got some spotting yesterday (CD 9) and very mild O pain, so I thought I must be starting to O. OPK totally negative though. Today I had full on red bleeding for a while this morning. Just the tiniest hint of a 2nd line on the OPK today. Crampy pains on and off all day. I have no idea what is going on. I also had a spike in temperature yesterday but I blamed it on crappy sleep and travelling (my temp has been a bit all over the place from travelling and staying in different places/temps). My HSG last year showed no cysts or anything unusual, but I'm really starting to wonder what on earth is going on with this bleeding throughout my cycle. I was starting to think I was getting it sorted out by taking progesterone, but now this is happening. I normally get some spotting during O, but if I'm not ovulating yet, then why am I bleeding? Ugh...

Stillfuntryin, I had to laugh at your paint story. Men! My hubby and I get the same way when we try to do any projects together. We have a cabin that we have been working on for years and we have completely different styles of working. He needs to have everything totally organized and tidy before he can do anything and I just want to get the job done and don't care what the site looks like. We normally don't really fight at all on a regular basis at home, but squabble non-stop when we are working on something construction-wise together. We haven't been working on it since we've been up north but he manages to get all worked up and stressed out about it just talking about the mess that the construction site was in (it's cleaned up now). I just think, meh, it's not worth stressing out about!

DH and I dont fight often and like you its only a heated word and its over in 5 seconds, Got the black paint and i have been painting all day LOL Im using a spray gun on steel pipe so i am green from head to toe from all the different winds that keep gusting up...
Mel i also hope you dont leave us on this site, we dont need to talk about baby stuff all the time i just enjoy hearing from you guys every day

Northernbabydream- I wonder whats up with your mid cycle spotting?? Have you googled "mid cycle spotting neg opk" Maybe try that and see what comes up, you will amazed at the info you can find out on weird stuff LOL

Anyway off to get dinner ready i hope you are all well!!!

Hope you got some of the paint off you stillfuntryin!

I look periodically online but I never find anything new. I've had 2 ultrasounds done, and the HSG - none showed any evidence of polyps, fibroids or cysts. My regular doctor didn't know what to think, and just said that "sometimes our bodies act differently". My naturopath prescribed progesterone and some herbal supplements for the bleeding I would get before my period and I think it helps a bit. But nothing has really helped with the ovulation pain and bleeding. My naturopath did think that I might have thyroid issues that could cause it, but my bloodwork for thyroid came back ok. The doctor at the fertility clinic didn't seem to care and totally dismissed it, saying that we didn't have time to mess around with it and should just get started with IVF!

So frustrating! I guess I just monitor and record it for now. I'm going to try acupuncture when I get back to civilization and also go back to the fertility clinic to hopefully start IUIs. Maybe future tests will show something. I also have fibromyalgia and have been told that this could knock things out of whack and make me more sensitive to O pains, so maybe it has something to do with it. I just worry that there's something going on that is contributing to why we haven't been able to conceive. With hubby's poor sperm, we don't need any other complications!

Northerbabydream- Its weird how fertility specialists just assume that if you go to them you want to start IVF right away and that you can afford it, I found it alot with my clinic that they would just go on there merry way organising things and not informing me properly on costs and what not, when i got my D&C price wasnt even talked about and i wasnt thinking straight at the time and didnt ask, all up it nearly cost me $3000, what if i didnt have that money just sitting there, im sure that some people dont, i have lernt my lesson with that now and to ask about the finer details and full costings.

Well looks like this is going to be a long cycle for me, my temp dipped a little today so i might be close but the opk's are still neg, my cervix is still somewhat hard (but i never really gets too soft, It was like a rock when i was preg, and sex allways hurt!) I hope to O soon, one of the other girls that is on a forum about first pregnancy ending in a miscarriage and had it at the same time as me is also on the same CD so i think thats pretty cool LOL

Holy, stillfun, I can't believe that a D&C costs that much! I thought that Australia had medical coverage like Canada too - it would be covered by govt here. That sucks, and I wouldn't have thought to ask about the cost either. And yeah, I was really frustrated when I went to the fertility clinic, because what I really wanted to find out about was the bleeding I was getting and to see if that was related to our not being able to conceive. At that time, I wasn't even considering IUI or IVF, and they basically ignored what I had to say and then were frustrated with me when I said I didn't want to go on with treatment - they acted like I'd wasted THEIR time. Sheesh.

I hope you O soon so you can get on with it! I think I'm getting close too - still getting lots of cramping but only a bit of bleeding and today there was a faint line on the OPK...but hopefully it will be darker tomorrow or Sunday. Hubby is off work for xmas starting today, so we will have more time for BDing - going to try to get 2 consecutive days in as soon as I get a positive OPK.

Hubby just told me that one of his employees that got married in September is pregnant with twins. It's so easy for some people! Hubby keeps saying he's sorry that he can't give me a baby - I think it's a lot harder on him than he lets on. I hate that this ttc stuff makes him feel inadequate.

Mel, I hope you're doing ok...thinking about you. (((hugs)))

I totally understand Northernbabydream, When i went to my clinic to find out the results of the testing on the baby they pretty much explained everything and then they tried to set up my next appt. for the ovulation induction, i thourgth wait a minute, i just lost my first baby, you just told me why and now you want me to get over it and start more treatment immd. WTF, I thourgth to myself well we have made a baby on our own why cant we do it again and why spend $1200 on somthing i might not need they probably wont work....
The reason i cost so much is because the clinic hanndled my D&C and did it privatley, we have a medical benefit called Medicare but i only could claim around $200, The public system does it for free, see what i mean about them pushing you, they never gave me the option to go public it all moved so fast and i was still trying to get my head around having a miscarriage, i am happy i did it privatley because they did the testing which gave me some answers so i didnt blame myself (which i was) i thourght i might have touched too much bad stuff like washing the dog in flee stuff, you dont really think about those sorts of things until you are preg, like i cut out all caffine because it is linked to higher miscarrige rates and i changed so much but i still thourgth did i do enough, so getting the test results for Trisomy 16 was a bit of a releif that it wasnt somthing we did wrong it was just really bad luck....
OH i forgot to mention i have O pains and my OPK is nearly pos so looks like it will be CD 16 or 17 which makes it a 30 to 31 day cycle which is starting to be the norm. Cant wait.. DH is ready i tiold him this morn that he better put his sexy pants on because IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG