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Hey girls, sorry its been so long, im laying low for a bit, not tracking anything this cycle, I may pull out some opks later on but for now im fine just getting on with life, My darkest test was on the day my Beta came back really low, and she said everything was nearly at baseline, I stoped my progesterone and started spotting the next day. This IVF cycle truly took a lot out of me and I need a break, and I don't really see the point in trying, maybe getting pregnant and find out later that one of Kens dodgy sperm made it and I will have another MC, I feel very negative about the whole thing right now. I know that the chances are very low of having another MC but I still cant kick the feeling. I am planning on having a FET in February while on holidays, Its way less time consuming, I do bloods on CD10 then go back at CD19 or whatever for my transfer.
I found a baby wallaby on my way home from town so I am looking after her, she is keeping my mind off it a bit, but I cant hep but get sad when I hold her in the morning and give her her bottle, that it should be a baby in my arms!!
I wish everyone all the luck in the world, 2013 was a shitty year lets hope for an awesome 2014!!

Oh man, stillfun, I'm so sorry. I can totally understand how you feel after everything going so well, only to have it not work out. It just feels so impossible sometimes. Take care of that baby wallaby (I'd love to see pics too!) and take some time for yourself and Ken to just chill out and relax. You are young still and have time on your side. It will happen for you guys eventually.

AFM, I'm feeling super impatient to start testing. 8 DPO today and I think I might start tomorrow. What the heck, I bought a 100 strips so have lots. Temps been steadily very high.

How's everyone else doing?

Hey Northern, I have a pic on FB I think.... She is the best but she pees everywhere!!!! Im feeling a little better, its such a downer when it doesn't work but at least I have a few more goes at it, Ken and I have talked and we are thinking 2 for the next transfer, I had a physic reading a few months back and he said I would have 2 boys within 24 months so maybe it was ment to be....
I know how you feel with the crazy testing, I have about 100 OPKs and I have ordered some more HPTs seeing as our wet season is here and access is now cut so no more town trips and I would hate to run out and think im actually preggo... I hope this is your month, are you doing anything next cycle? I wish I would have started IVF much sooner now I have done it! It is truly amazing, I have so much more faith in it and cant even be bothered to try naturally!

Stillfun, saw your wallaby on FB - she is so so cute. Will she end up tame as a pet or can she be released safely back in the bush? We grew up rescuing and raising baby deer here before there was a wildlife rescue organization to take them. Some would stick around the farm as adults but were still wild.

Glad you are feeling a bit better. Two would be exciting! Can't hurt to give it a shot. You managed to get several frozen, right?

If this cycle doesn't work out, I'll be doing another one with clomid and a trigger, and hopefully an IUI if I can manage to get hubby on board. And will probably go back for acupuncture too. I'm a bit worried about my lining screwing up again though with the clomid. It made it way thinner than it normally is. My period was really light after the clomid last cycle. I guess it's all about balancing the benefits and the negatives. It was exciting to have a few promising eggs from both ovaries last cycle.

Liz: Your baby wallaby is way too freaking cute!! Maybe you can potty train her lol! I think If you can transfer 2 next time you def. should from what I have seen transferring 2 embies doesn't necessarily up your odds for twins just your odds of pregnancy. :) I hope that the psychic is right!! Makes me want to go to one and see what they say. A long time ago there was a psychic online that everyone was using and many people said she was right on. I paid my $10 and thought why not. But boy was she wrong. She said I'd be pregnant in November 3 years ago lol!

Northernbaby: I think you would really benefit from an IUI. Hopefully you can work something out. Maybe start freezing vials whenever possible so you can have them available. I know that frozen isn't as great as fresh but it may help with timing and take some of the pressure off your hubby. :/ I hope that this cycle works for you!

AFM: I am 99% certain that we will be moving forward with the donor program at California conceptions. My dh and I talked and he seems comfortable with it and I am excited to move on as well. I'm hoping to get Dh on board with moving forward soon since I would need some tests done and it can take 3-6 months to get matched after that. :)

AFM: Dh and I are still keeping thing

Mel, that's exciting that you seem close to making the decision to move forward with the donor clinic!

Not sure about freezing sperm - I'll have to ask the clinic about it. They seem pretty rigid and expect partners to provide the sample at their office. This totally freaks my DH out and I don't know that he'd even be able to in that setting. But yeah, an IUI seems like the obvious next step for us.

Mind you, it may not be needed as I am feeling so hopeful about this cycle. I started getting strong pulling and tugging in my abdomen today. It actually started in my sleep last night - it felt like pulled muscles and kept waking me up. Nothing like pre-AF cramps.This is right on track for implantation (9 DPO). Please keep your fingers crossed for me!

Oh wow Northern that sounds exciting!! My clinic is pretty casual with the sperm collection, they understand that the pressure of the clinic is way too much and are OK with us bringing samples from the Hotel which is right over the road, And so far there hasn't been a problem with anything we have provided! The last attempt was way better than the first, I think he was way more prepared than last time and didn't have a problem at all and he also said he is getting used to all the fertility treatments and the first SA was just a big thing for him! I have 4 frozen embryos so I see at least two more attempts with them before we would have to do a Stim cycle again, I would be prepared to do a stim cycle again but maybe after my insurance starts paying a bit and that's not until July next year, but with four embryos I cant see how one wouldn't stick :)
Mel that's really good news about the donor stuff! Is that the one where you get three attempts and then if it fails you get your money back??? I hope they find a good match? do they use random peoples eggs/sperm that don't know each other? I think I might donate my eggs ones im done, at the moment they are good quality and mix well with sperm, I have a friend on you tube who got 29 eggs 27 fertilized but only 3 made it to the freezer so I think I have had awesome odds with 6 collected 5 fertilised and 1 transferred and 4 frozen, Australia are a little more carful not to over stim you, nearly everyone I have seen in the states gets OHSS, and that's bad shit! You can end up in hospital and even die! A lot of the women who get it cant do a fresh cycle and have to freeze all then do a FET later on! I was on a really really low dose, I have seen some women doing IUI and on the same dose as me, so im sure next time they would up my dose a bit to get more eggs. I started spotting yesterday which was super weird, I know I had follies still growing so maybe one ruptured... who knows

northernbaby: Can't blame your Dh I don't think I'd be able to take care of business in a place like that too. It def. has to be nerve wracking. Have you tested yet?

Stillfun: YEs the program is the one that we get three tries and if it fails we get our money back or three free tries. They do use egg donors that go through their egg donor program and they get the sperm donors through multiple sperm banks so yes they are completely unknown to each other and they only use the same donor 3 times tops. So each baby really is different. The thing is although they say they match and ask for pictures and things to match too I have sense learned from others that it really is random. You can turn down profile matches but if you do it too many times they get annoyed and will bump you to the bottom or let you know the program may not be for you I guess they want you to look at it more as an adoption that you get to carry and figure if you want to be picky then you should pay $30,000 and find your own egg/sperm donors. I did see some pictures from the last couple years though of a picnic they put together for those that went through the program and most the kids I would never have thought wouldn't have been biologically related to their parents. So I don't know I think its still good and I'm really not too picky as far as looks go since me and my Dh have such different features anyways. :)

Wow your friend had 29 eggs??!! That is so many it all must just have to do with quality though huh? Yours must be very strong eggies. :) That's good they don't overstimulate your ovaries there I too have heard terrible things about OHSS. That would be so wonderful of you to donate your eggs when your done and I'm sure one of your four embies will be sticky.

I have been testing, and seeing only BFNs. I was trying not to think too much of it because it's still early. But today is 12 DPO and there's still no hint of a 2nd line and I just noticed a bit of pink spotting. I also noticed my PMS emotions starting up yesterday. The tugging and pulling feelings stopped yesterday t oo and I started getting the pre-AF backache and cramps so I'm losing hope. Trying to stay calm for another couple days until I know for sure though. At least now I have something to look forward to doing for the next cycle.

That's the spirit Northern, I only really put any faith in treatments now, Naturally is just to hard and disappointing, I have had so many let downs and have had so many positive things with my treatments, I always thought IVF was this big scary expensive thing but after doing it I have a way different opinion, I know that it costs way more in the states for it but I think at the end of the day including 2 weeks accommodation it cost about $6500, which really isn't that bad, and if I wait until next year when my insurance starts covering IVF it will cost me heaps less! I hope I don't have to do another stim cycle again and the ones I have is enough!
When are you looking at getting the ball rolling mel, is it just a matter of them finding the appropriate donors or do the donors have to do a stim cycle? Im ssssooooo excited for you girls that you are both moving in such positive directions!
I cant wait for us to all be preggo at the same time!