Community post

Carla - sorry about the making her appearance.

just keep doing the fun things

Well, FRER was negative this morning. I'm 14 DPO/IUI today, so I'm assuming that something would've shown up by now. I just bawled my eyes out, and then I just talked to my mom a bit ago and I'm just sitting here trying not to cry at work (one of the biggest non-perks of working with all guys....they definitely get uneasy around emotional women!).

I'm just tired of being let down....tired of getting my hopes up.......tired of letting myself get ahead of myself with plans and baby names, just to see a big white spot on a stupid test. I could tell my mom was so sad and that makes me feel awful too, b/c it's like I'm disappointing her and I can't do anything about it (even though I know that that totally isn't the case).

I know it ain't over til the fat lady sings (or until the evil witch flies in on her broomstick), but it's not looking too good at the moment.

This blows.

Where's the "so pissed off I could punch Mother Nature in the throat" emoticon when you need it?!

nsking - I'm so sorry :( I was really really hoping you would see those 2 lines. I totally get what you're going through. I know when I talk to people about it, especially close family, they try to be all positive for me, but I can tell on the inside they feel sad for me.

AFM.. today is 11dpo... saw a line that looked like an evap within the 3 minute mark yesterday so thought it might be a good sign. Test today was definitely neg. :( I'm not feeling too hopeful for this cycle anymore.... 2 more tries until my doctor wants to intervene. This is so not how I imagined starting a family would be.

@Nsking, SORRY Big cyber hugs honey!

@Erica, sorry sorry about your BFN as well.. fingers crossed for you both.

nsking - i def know what you going thru, been there many times myslef. i dont know if any words can make u feel better. just pray and k now your time will come.... i will keep u in my prayers too.....

Erica - hang in there... i am sure it will happen...

i am so sorry guys. i feel your pain, i know exactly how much it means to see that 2 lines...

i dont know what else to say...

That's what makes this whole thing so hard, is that there is nothing anyone can say, or do, to make it better. But you guys just being here, "listening" to me vent and cry, is enough.

you all. Seriously.

I'm not even going to sugar coat this....ttc for so long SUCKS, REAL HARD! nsking - I've picked out names, designed my nursery in my head, and DAMMIT it will happen for me, for you, for everyone else that wants a baby and is trying to hard! That's all I have left is hope. My mom won't listen to me b/c she thinks I am being dramatic. DH probably wants to vomit each time I talk about a baby. My co-workers are tired of it, my best friend acts like I am being stupid. I'm sorry but when you go to start a family, knowing you'll be an awesome mom and are planning and then biology says, NOPE, sorry...it's frustrating.

Silver lining is that there are always options and hope and reasons to not give up! I say this now but let me tell you, when AF shows up in a couple days, I will be punching walls!

nsking- I'm so sorry hun :( try and keep your head up. I know what u mean about making plans and all, it totally sucks :(. Yesterday I was bored and found myself looking at all these cute baby clothes on the internet. Only makes u feel worse! :( I don't know why I did that because it made me feel upset because I think I'm gonna miss my window this cycle. Totally sucks. Hoping af doesn't show for you and that baby is a late bloomer, lots of hugs to you xo

Thanks ladies....

I have known some women that an HPT didn't even show up positive until 2 or 3 days after a positive blood test, so I know I'm not out of it yet. Just let down, I should've just waited it out to see if I even start Friday. I think I'm most annoyed by the fact that two tests cost ELEVEN DOLLARS and I JUST WASTED ONE TODAY. GROWL. (Lol, ok, not most annoying thing, but still).

My bb's don't hurt as bad today as they have been, but nips are still definitely sore. Tops of bb's are tender, and the "wet" feeling is back - I've been panicking all day that AF is here early, but she's not. Who knows.

I do know that I'm exhausted and am just ready to go home and get in pj's and play Candy Crush for the rest of the night on the couch.

And of course my MIL chooses today to FINALLY email me back about my SIL's shower in June.....so I've been googling baby shower games ("just remember, no one in my family likes games, so keep them simple" - um, seriously, I get that no one actually likes the "sniff the diaper game" but who doesn't like shower games? What the hell else are you supposed to do at a shower?), and just saw on pinterest that my SIL has been pinning all the stuff she likes for the baby's room. Vomit.

citind12, how did a non-digital do?

Carla, I am so sorry about that stupid witch!

nsking, reading your post made me cry and laugh... I am so sorry you are having such an emotional time but like you said it ain't over yet! I am praying for you... and PS I love the idea of that emoticon... we should make one! :) Big hugs to you my friend.... keep us posted!

ericalee, dr intervention isn't always horrible! FX you get to start your family the way you want to though!

PBC, you are right! DAMNIT everyone has put so much heart and time and emotion into the TTC and you will all get there! When your sweet little one is older you will tell them of the journey and all the tears, punching walls, fights with the family, friends or whoever, the stress... it will all seem so minimal! I say this because it took 30 cycles with dr intervention and we are walking on egg shells here praying this one sticks!