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I'm so sorry for your tears and frustration. I totally understand the helpless feeling and the NEED to feel like you are actively doing something to achieve your life's dream. We know our doctors want the best for us, but sometimes it's just not enough. Being an advocate for ourselves is all that we have, right? I applaud your message to your doctor.

I do start my stims tonight and I'm thrilled to finally be getting this show on the road!!!

Happy Anniversary, by the way. Tomorrow is ours.

Hugs.

I started the Follistim and Menopur two days ago. The Menopur does burn, but I've read up on forums on how to decrease it through slower injection. I woke up both nights, however, to great stomach nausea and pain. My nurse feels it's something I ate, but I know my body and it is definitely the shots. A cup of herbal tea helped settle my stomach, but it was no joke.

But we'd all take some stomach nausea and pain to actually get knocked up, right???

I fly to Cali on Thursday, and will finally get to meet my doctor and nurse. It'll be nice to actually finally connect with them other than via phone or email.

Hugs.

I had my first meeting with the California doctor today! She gave me great news that my body is responding very well to the Follistim dose (300) so she's bumping me down to 150 and keeping the Menopur the same. They've also moved up my retrieval and transfer date by one day!!!! She claims to have seen at least 8 follicles per ovary, and will be taking every one of them out.

Oh, and I'm a teary mess on these hormones. I can try to retain composure, but it's proved fruitless. I even had a bout of road rage today. Some woman honked at me for actually stopping appropriately at a stop sign and I ended up flipping her the bird and screaming some profanities. These hormones are no joke!!!!

The next time I see the doctor it will be for the retrieval.

Any word about how your cycle is going? Would you help explain the difference between a long and a short cycle?

Hugs!!!

Glad you are responding well! I was also a super good responder, almost too good! The last time I did a retrieval I had an initial dose of 225 of gonal f. My estradiol levels went through the roof and I had around 30 total follicles maturing which was scary as hell. They ended up backing me way down to 37.5 of gonal and 37.5 of menopur. That ended up being too low and we had to increase it again and I ended up with 13 eggs. This time the doctor wants to keep my doses higher and not back it off so much to retrieve more eggs, in the 15-20 range she said to shoot for.

Right now I am just waiting for af to show so I can start bcp and lupron. Should be this weekend sometime because I have been spotting the last 2 days. I hate waiting for everything! You are lucky you got bumped up, I only ever get bumped back! Short cycling is just forcing af to show earlier than normal to get to the next cycle. If af shows this weekend I will have only had a 22 or 23 day cycle.

The lupron actually sent me in to sudden fits of rage but I didn't feel moody with gonal or menopur. I was a weepy blubbering mess during my frozen cycle though when I was on the estrogen and was a major symptom when i was pregnant before I miscarried. It's all normal! And you are right that trying to control it is fruitless! I just gave up and embraced that I was going to be an unpredictable basket case for awhile...poor hubby!

How do you like the doctor.after finally meeting in person?

I'm sorry to say I was chuckling at your post, but I was. Hormones make us puppets, and not the cute kind like Grover.

I was very appreciative upon meeting the staff at my new clinic. My doctor's main IVF coordinator and I have emailed practically every day for over a month. Meeting her was like meeting a long lost friend. She came in and hugged me instantly, which I really appreciated and needed. We went through all the meds and their schedule, not to mention a bunch more paperwork. THERE IS SO MUCH PAPERWORK!!!

My husband flies in on Monday, just in time for our retrieval on Tuesday. I miss him already and am eagerly anticipating his arrival.

I'd like to hear some good news regarding AF coming!! The sooner she comes the sooner she goes!

Many hugs!

This morning I decided to watch grey's anatomy from Thursday and had I known it would contain a miscarriage I would have never watched! I was a blubbering mess and hid under my covers in bed crying like a heart broken 13 year old lol. Then AF showed up like I thought she would this weekend, which explains the hypersensitive blubbering mess ordeal! I am pretty sure my husband was thinking holy cow, what a pyscho and I am out of here! Haha! He decided to go golfing for a bit since we are having a gorgeous sunshiny 60 degree day here in upstate ny...very unusual since we had snow like 3 days ago!

Oh no!!!! I totally get it!!! And I'm sorry for your pain.

Sometimes I know I just need a good meltdown cry and purposely watch something that brings it out of me. Ever seen the film 'Away We Go'? It's an intense, hilarious, and touching pregnancy related movie. I always give it to my pregnant friends, and they always just rave about it. And then talk about when they cried. I find such things to be therapeutic, and if you do please consider looking into it?

I'm glad to hear AF arrived so that you can start the drugs and get things moving. Waiting is ABSOLUTELY the hardest part.

Many hugs.

Egg retrieval happened this morning. WOW!!! We couldn't have had a better experience. The staff was incredibly understanding and nice, and things went off without a hitch. The hubby even commented how his 'accommodations' far exceeded anything we had in Ohio and even made him feel comfortable rather than seedy.

23 eggs harvested in about twenty minutes under full sedation. I woke up to minimal issues and was totally coherent within 10 minutes. I've been slightly crampy and my ovaries still feel HUGE, but all is well. We will get the phone call tomorrow to indicate how many were fertilized. The PGD testing is set to happen on Sunday, and <crossing fingers, toes, legs, ovaries, etc> one boy and one girl will be transferred Monday.

They recommended a high protein and high salt diet for the next week to help get my bloating down and also to help detoxify from all the injectables. I'm still all bruised in my abdomen area, but it'll go away soon. I'm terribly prone to bruising, so it's no surprise.

I'm feeling quite optimistic, but am still keeping myself in check....

How is your period going? Started any drugs yet? How can I be of support to you right now?

23 eggs harvested yesterday, 15 fertilized, 10 made it to this morning. The Doctor said to expect that not all 10 would make it to Day 5 for our PGD testing, and that she was hoping for 1-3 to be fully viable.

While I know this is all good news, I'm still a mess. Is this enough? I am a pro at worrying, and don't know to think about all this. The Hubs is thrilled as we have 10 in the Petri dish, but I just worry about the future and their strength and health!!!

I need to chill out!!!!!!

Hey! Saw your post yesterday but didn't have time to sit down and reply. You retrieved a ton of eggs! The bloating and "full" ovary feeling went away for me about 3-4 days after surgery. Just be on the look out for any fever or major pain, ohss is nothing to mess with. Having 10 make it is pretty darn good! Last retrieval I did we got 13 eggs, 11 were mature, 8 fertilized and made it to day 3 and I transferred 2. Out of the 6 left only 4 made it to blast stage on day 5 to be frozen. It sucks to see your numbers dwindling but it's completely normal. Just think of how strong those embies that make it to day 5 are going to be and they will be ready for a new home for 9 months :-)

I finally got a call today from our ivf coordinator saying that I get to start lupron on Monday. Feels so great to feel like the ball is rolling again...phew what a relief! Stims will start on dec 7th, egg retrieval the week of dec 16th with a transfer hopefully late the week of the 16th or early the week of christmas which is exactely what I was hoping for. I have 2 weeks off this year for Christmas (yay for working in a school!) So that will give me plenty of time to stay low key and relaxed so those embies can really latch on!

Let me know how the pgd testing goes! Wishing you lots of luck :-)