Community post

Hey y'all. so, ok. I'm gonna try to give ya the abridged version on what I've had going on along with a short back story. Spring of last year, hubby had a person working with him that I just wasn't comfortable with (P). long story short, she's separated from her husband & friends of a girl (J) that my hubby went to school with. the girls (P) & (J) got into an argument over something, I have no idea what. (J) gave (P)'s estranged hubby my contact info & had him call me stating the my hubby was trying to start a relationship with (P). Longer part of the story short, I didn't react the way (J) & the estranged husband wanted me to, so they took it further, almost cost my hubby his job, but didn't when it was discovered it was a bunch of crap. So, ok... fast forward to about 3 weeks ago. We have moved to where these 2 girls live (b/c my hubby wanted to go back to where he considers home) & (P) starts coming to out church. I treat her pretty rough, am actually rude. Felt convicted for it, so reached out to her to at least get to know her. Had her over for dinner a couple times. 2 weeks ago tomorrow, my hubby changed his relationship status on facebook to "in a relationship" and decided to begin ignoring me. He & (P) are CONSTANTLY talking, spending time together, etc. He starts coming home 1-2am or later, if at all... has started drinking & smoking again... refuses to talk to me, but has told me that things between us are fixable and that we're gonna be ok, that he only made the change on there to see if I noticed & if I did, to hurt me. Well, it worked!!!!! Since then, we looked like we were going to be able to have a conversation 1 time, last night, but that turned into a HUGE argument. Now here's some more joy... I STILL haven't had a/f. Been since almost 2 weeks before Father's day in June. I have a chance to get insurance next month at my new job. I have spoken with my biological mother (I'm adopted) and she said that with her pregnancies, she was never able to get a bfp, even up to the day before she gave birth to me, she always had to have a blood test. So, I'm trying to hold out for another 3-4 weeks minimum. Last night, after the fight, I started cramping really bad. Screamed at him that I was possible miscarrying, so he might not have to worry about sticking around much longer if that was the only reason he was still showing up. He promptly fell asleep on the couch, where I left him. Alright, so there it is, the abridged version of the hell I've been going through. I'm fighting like crazy to keep my marriage together, but I feel like it's a 1 sided fight. It's after midnight & he's no where to be found, doesn't speak to me unless he's here & even then stays in his own world & won't even let me touch him. Ladies, I'm petrified. I do want my marriage to stay together, to be able to move on. I know logically, I should just walk away & if he wants me, let him come to me, but I just cant do it. I can't just walk away from this. He;s just pulled in the drive way, so I'm gonna run..... will check back when I can. please pray for me & us....

Hey Shellharvey, I feel your hurt and pain. My prayers goes out to you! Don't matter how painful it may seem, sometimes it does not make sense trying to hold on to something that is not worth holding on to because you will never be happy. Reading your post, it is quite obvious what is taking place between your hubby and (P) and you don't deserve to be going through this especially if you are preg. You and your husband NEED to sit down and talk to determine if he still wants to be part of the marriage because it is very unfair to you.At the end of the day, we cannot force anyone to stay with us if they do not want to. Part of love is also knowing when to let go if it comes to that. You should not have agreed to move back to his hometown if you had known that wd make them closer. If he really is being unfaithful, then having him around wd only cause you more pain because whenever he's not home, you wd always be wondering what he's doing.
BTW, if AF was due since father's day and hasn't shown, are you seeing any symptoms of preg and changes to your body? Hope that everything works out for you soon, God Bless!

Shell - that must be weighing on your heart very heavily. I hope everything works out for the best for you. I've been married twice and have had a few terrible boyfriends, and I've been in your shoes. I have become less accommodating as I get older, more suspicious, and never invite women into my home. I hope he has just been staying out late drinking and not cheating. I would definitely ask myself if he is worth all of the heartache. If he is not honoring your marital vows you are under no obligation to stay with him. I know a lot of people disagree because marriage should be forever, but I do not believe a wife should have to suffer mental or physical abuse, drug or alcohol abuse, or infidelity for any reason. It puts your life in danger. If you are pregnant he could bring home a disease, wreck with you in the car, or black out and beat the crap out of you. I think it's ultimatum time. He gets his shit straight, or he gets out. Life is too short to be unhappy because of someone else's selfishness and stupidity.

@Lammy, NattyE and Phat...Fingers crossed for both of you. I hope you all get your soon. Your symptoms Lammy and NattyE and your faint line Phat give me hope!

@ stay away from my homegirl Phat!

@Waiting, I forgot to tell you earlier in the week that your physician ticked me off! Telling someone that "I know you want to be preggers yesterday" when they are TTC like we are is unerving! I wanted to tell her a thing or two myself. Some doctors have no bedside manner. Reminds me of Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory! He's not a medical doctor, but the dude seriously lacks tact!

@Shell, my heart goes out to you! I must echo the sentiments of my fellow TTCers. I've been in your shoes, so I am speaking from personal experience. First, I say pray and look to God for guidance. You really have to open yourself up the signs that may be sent your way (don't be blind). If your hubby is not honoring his vows and is taking you for granted, you have to decide if this is the life you want for yourself. I divorced my first husband because he got a woman pregnant. Although the signs were not as obvious, there were a few signs he was cheating. It really hurt to find out his mistress was 8 months pregnant. That was a very painful time in my life. I just wish I left his #$&@ sooner!

Love is Patient and Love is Kind. Love is not cruel and unusual punishment! Life is too short. You may love him, but love yourself more! I will pray to God that he gives you peace of mind and strength!

AFM - I had cramping on and off for the last few days, creamy CM, and a slight (but brief) headache yestrday. I caved and took a HPT and of course . I'm only about 5DPO...what was I thinking? Is there a POAS test for insanity? If I POASd on that right now, I would definitely get two lines!

Holly - did you see my other tests?

BTW - does anyone else hate going to the potty the day AF is due? I feel nauseous right now thinking about wiping & seeing that AF is here after all.

There is a test for insanity - it's called the Squirrel Hole. If you have one, it's proof positive you've leapt over the edge!

@Phat, I just looked at your tests. I think I see something on the FRER. I thought you also tested on some Wondfo's and they had a faint line?

Do you recall if you felt implantatation type pains? If so, when? Maybe you implanted late and your beta is low.

Le'ts hope the witch stays away and you can test tomorrow and get a nice !

I haven't felt implantation pains. Just cramps. They aren't as bad as they were a couple of months ago when I had my CP, but that could be a good thing. I'm looking implantation between today and the weekend. I'll keep you all posted.

Holly - I have had pains, but I have them all the time now that I'm paying attention to my body. They were most noticeable yesterday. I did have Wondfo's with faint lines, too, but they never got darker. I'm nauseous, but my daughter just had a stomach bug. I can tell you I would be floored if I actually turn out to be pregnant. I've had lots of lower back pain the last couple of days, and cervical pains yesterday. I actually thought I was going to start yesterday with the cramping. I usually start around lunch time, but I don't know if today's the day for sure because I ovulated late.

im scared for tomorrow

as i was in hosptial last night my mum and nan both said to me they dont think its a bug i said why what do u think it is and they both said preg i told them i think i am too . so im scared as i dont wanna dissapoint people

tomorrow will tell

My heart breaks for you Shell! I dont really even know what to say except you are a wonderful woman and dont deserve to be treated that way. I know it's hard to see things when you're in the middle of it, but your husband's actions definitely do not sound good. I'm lifting you up in prayer as I type this. It's completely your decision what you want to do but from experience I know this...if you are pregnant, find out what your husband is up to before you tell him. A baby wont fix a marriage and make him stay. If he wants out and the marriage doesnt work...do you really want your husband to be half raising your child with his mistress? Whatever happens, know you have us ladies on our knees with our hands in the air, asking God to deliver you from this situation and bring you out on the other side :). We all love you hun and the only thing I can truly recommend...head to church on Sunday...or watch my pastor's service www.faithchurchstl.com they have live services on Tues, Sat and Sun. It's amazing how God always gives my pastor the right message at the right time. Also, check out joyfmonline.org. If you're feeling alone in this situation...PUSH LISTEN LIVE on the website....trust me :)

@holly- I LOVE Big Bang! And I agree, she reminds me of sheldon lol.

@phat- aaaaa....squirrel hole syndrome!

My day has been interesting. Brother in law lost his job this morning meaning that I'm temporarily laid off from babysitting til he gets hired somewhere else. Sheesh. So I swung by dh's work to give him a kiss and tell him about it. He had to go to home depot for superglue for the chief so I went with him. It was fun. Like we were dating again lol
Just waiting on word from the dr. Probably wont get results til tomorrow.

Guys! OMG!!! I just took an HPT and I see a line. I can't believe it! Take a look. I posted it a few minutes ago. I will try and post a better picture later! Headed out the door for a few, but wanted to give you all the news!