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Well good luck to all. I QUIT! So SERIOUSLY tired of trying with only ending up with the same dead end depressing results.Just wanna crawl in a dark closet and die.

I'm sorry to hear you are struggling. I know that feeling all too well.

Well, I'll be 44 in two months and I've decided I'm out.

And I'm OK with it.

I've accepted that at my age it is so unlikely to happen without intervention, and my partner is just not prepared to pay for intervention.

Perhaps down the track if I really feel I need to have a baby we can go the donor route.

My sister was going to be a donor, but she hasn't gone and done any of the tests yet, and she turned 43 last week. We thought she'd be a good donor because she just had baby #6, but as she hasn't had any tests yet, it would be ages before we could even try and she might be getting too old to be a donor by then.

My DP and I are looking into becoming foster carers. We are attending an information session this Wednesday night.

Now I've made the decision it's such a relief not to feel this enormous burden I had placed on myself. My period was three days late last month and I got my hopes up, only to turn into Linda Blair when AF arrived.

I'm two days late this month, but I'm not on that roller coaster anymore so I'm just patiently waiting for AF to arrive as I know she will.

I wish all of you who are trying the very best and send a shit tonne of baby dust your way.

To those of you who have conceived your little miracle, I'm so happy for you and wish you a lifetime of joy with your families.

All the best everybody.

Sydney xoxoxox

So I guess we're still trying but im no longer charting so if it's meant to be it will happen. Im 46, last pregnancy was April 2014, but miscarried in July and it was all natural. So I know I can get pregnant without anything. Wish us luck with God's blessings!

Hi Everyone,

I hope everyone is enjoying a little more relaxing time following the Holidays. Hopefully this will also have a positive impact to everyone's outlook. It's too bad to see some folks declaring "I'm out!," but I do understand the frustration.

All I can say is look at all options. Many of you know my story -- at 46 -- and I'm officially 6 months along with my first. Twins, natch. I was/am open to all options, and this one only happened to fall into place first.

Anyway, chin up, enjoy these longer days (well, I guess for those of us in the world where the days are getting longer), and have some *fun* as we move toward Spring!

Hey Busterdogs, good to see you here.

I know I said I'm out, but it might possibly too late for that!

I'm now six days late for AF. All week I've had all the signs and symptoms (cramping etc, the feeling that AF is about two minutes away) but no AF.

I POAS yesterday morning, and the night before, but both were negative.

I googled for reasons why I could be late and have a negative HPT and found that a LOT of women get a negative HPT early on. I'm a member of a closed Facebook group, Egg Donation Australia, and I asked there and quite of few of the members said they were pregnant while having negative HPT. Some people apparently don't have enough of the hormone to show up at first.

I know my own sister had six negative HPTs when she was pregnant with her first 20 years ago. She kept doing the test because she had all the signs. She ended up going to the doctor after her sixth negative test and it turned out she was 13 weeks along!

If AF doesn't come, I'm going to leave it about another week and have a blood test.

It would be so ironic if I am. My DP and I are eloping in October. We've already booked and paid for it. We are flying to Hawaii on October 9 and getting married over there on the 17th. If I am pregnant, I'm due September 28. There's no way I could take a baby on a plane that young because he/she wouldn't have had the required vaccines yet. I just couldn't risk his/her health like that.

Lucky we bought comprehensive travel insurance. The travel agent said if we can't go due to pregnancy, our insurance will cover it.

I'm not getting myself into a tizz about it. I've had all the signs before and still had AF. Being six days late could just be my cycle changing with my age.

It's a case of wait and see!

We went to the information session on Wednesday night for fostering. If all goes well and we pass the police checks and the training, we could be fostering in six months time.

DP wants to wait till after we are married because I am starting a law degree - part time while I work full time - in four weeks and he wants us to start our fostering once we get back from Hawaii.

Also, the lady who is having his baby as a result of the fling he had just before we met is having the little girl tomorrow!

She was due on 15 January, but bubba is still in there. She's booked in to be induced tomorrow.

Big, big days ahead for me!

No kidding Sydney! You got this. I'm really looking forward to how elopement planning comes along. I always thought it was no mistake that my Dad owned the largest ladder in the neighborhood as the father of four daughters ...

Haha Buster, did you use that ladder?

Well, BFN. AF arrived on Saturday. The same day my DP's former fling gave birth to their baby girl.

I'm not allowed to meet her yet - the mother doesn't want to know about me - but he showed me her photo and she looks EXACTLY like him. She is his complete mini-me.

It hurts so much. I can't look at him without seeing that baby girl, knowing I'm not allowed to meet her and get to know her :-(

I slumped into a deep depression over the past few days. Feeling slightly better today. My step-mother keeps telling me to take it one day at a time.

It's been very difficult, seeing everybody congratulating them together on Facebook, as though they are a couple or something!

DPs cousin called me last night to see how I am coping, which was very sweet of her.

So now on to my other big news. I have an egg donor! We have to wait though. It's my cousin's wife. She is the most beautiful soul, generous and loving. She called me to see if I was ok when my DPs daughter was born and I said I was, but the fact that I just got AF was hard because I was seven days late by then and had allowed myself some hope.

She asked if I had considered IVF and I said at my age the success rate is just too low, that I would need a donor egg.

She turned right around, no hesitation and said she would be my donor.

We need to wait because she is TTC right now. She thinks she might already be pregnant. She asked if I would be willing to wait and I said of course! It give DP and I time to save for the medical expenses!

So we are looking at 18 months or maybe a bit longer. She will be 37 by then and I will be 45.

I woke up in a cold sweat this morning, thinking about how old I'll be when my child is going through school, starting out in life etc, and wondering if I am financially able to do this!

Buster, do these things freak you out? Am I overthinking it?

Hi Everyone. I am 41 and new to this forum. I normally never post on forums but my younger sister who just had her first baby suggested this site to me! I have done four iui's and one ivf with no success. My ivf resulted in only one egg fertilized for the transfer. I read so many negative things about ladies trying to conceive in their 40's that I am starting to lose hope. Any insight would help. Best of luck to you all!

Sydney,

Wow, you've got a full plate! If it feels like it's too much it's because it is ;). Seriously, don't be afraid to seek out help if you are feeling raw and fragile. I'm nearly at that point on a totally unrelated issue (more on that in a moment), and I acknowledge when I'm feeling like a house of cards. I've learned to not be afraid of dealing with concerns with the help of friends, counseling, whatever.

Of course I've put some thought in how my age (I'll be 46 when these lads emerge) may impact what I need to do. But, honestly, I think my age and maturity will make me a better parent. Some of the "life changing" maturity issues our grandparents and parents had to deal with as young adults just aren't a factor today, and many adults -- by my estimation -- are fairly immature. Kinda sad, really.

But, I wouldn't change a day of age for any of the wisdom I've gained. I'm sure my husband would agree for himself.

That said, from a pragmatic standpoint, we will be diligent in maintaining financial support into their adulthood should we meet an untimely demise. In the US, that means maintaining an up-to-date will and trust mechanism after the death of the last partner to span into legal adulthood. That's also maintaining enough 20 year term life insurance to support the cost of raising them without us.

But that's pretty much applicable to any parent. However, as an older parent, I think we will be unusually diligent in this regard.

I also view our parenting job as getting them to make their own sound decisions, in their own ways. I anticipate the groundwork for that will be laid pretty early. We won't be "growing up" together like some young parents. We are your parents; you are our children, we love you and our duty is to guide you.

So ... donor eggs .... if you've got the time and patience, I would proactively look for additional donor options. I know it's different where you live, and there are restrictions on commercial incentives. I had originally approached my youngest sister about being a donor (people were confusing us at my wedding two years ago even though we are 8 years apart), and while she heard me out, she never responded. I didn't push it, took it only as a mild disappointment, and moved on. I'd hate for you to have your eggs in one proverbial basket, particularly if you are willing to get things going on a faster time table. I know I wasn't willing to wait.

Another consideration is the extra fertilized eggs that already exist in storage today. I have ten in the freezer from my donor process. I have NO idea what we're going to do with them, but I have noticed there are some organization in the US that facilitate using them not-for-profit, perhaps due to religious motivations. Just a consideration. I never thought I had magic eggs that just HAD to be fertilized into a new human, but that's just me. I do like that I can carry my husbands kind & gentle nature into the next generation, however. Everything worked out the way it was supposed to work out in my view. :)

Now the unrelated issue -- my older dog has been impacted by some unusual health issues. He had some prostate issues, those seemed to be getting better, and then in the last 24 hours he had what I'd characterize as some simple partial seizures. It's disturbing to watch, keeps me up at night as I check in on him, is pretty expensive to get the right people involved, and generally sucky. I find I feel the best when everything in the house is also happy and healthy. So I'm a little "flat" right now in concern for him, my little buddy. I will probably seek some third party counseling just so I can keep an even keel if things go south. I know I feel a little vulnerable.

Baby dust to all!

Wow Busterdogs, I'm so sorry about your little buddy. Pets are just as much a part of a family as a human being is and I commiserate with you for what he is going through. I know if anything happened to my kitten I would be beyond devastated. I hope he gets better and makes a full recovery and goes on to have many more happy years with you. It sounds like you are doing the right thing, taking care of yourself and looking into some counselling to keep things in check. Very wise. I have a feeling you are going to be one heck of a mummy :-)

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and plans about the future, financially looking after your new babies, etc.

I've always been a "she'll be right" kind of person, in a Scarlet O'Hara-ish kind of way.

But I admit it's something that wakes me up at night sometimes.

I agree with what you say about not putting all my eggs in one basket (or one cousin's wife haha).

In Australia the process is really different. It's illegal to buy and sell eggs, it's only allowed to be done altruistically. The recipient covers the medical costs of the donor. Luckily for us, it's a hell of a lot cheaper that it is for you guys in the US. We're looking at about $8k for the first cycle. I think if there are eggs left over, if the first cycle has not worked, the next cycle is like doing IVF (although I could be wrong) and the cost comes down to an IVF transfer, which is around the $3.5k mark.

I told DP that we need to put aside about $15K just in case we need to go a second or third try. I know some people get their BFP first go, others it takes two or three goes.

I'm on a closed Facebook group called Egg Donation Australia and just yesterday joined their forum. On the forum donors and recipients find one another. I'm quite amazed by the number of women who are so generous and willing to donate.

I'm going to broaden my horizons and if I find somebody generous enough to want to donate before my cousin's lovely wife is able, I might just take that option.

It's not anonymous here and legally, the donor and recipient have to undergo several counselling sessions, together and by themselves. There has to be an agreement that the child will be told they have come from a donor egg. It's up to the donor and recipient to work out how much they want to be involved with one another after the baby comes.

From what I can see, some donors are happy to donate and step away, others are happy to be in the child's life as a loved aunt figure.