Community post

I need someone to talk me down from the ledge. Just found out via my mother that my brother and his girlfriend of 3 months are pregnant. Intentionally. I feel so dead right now I don't even have any real emotions. I want to cry but can't. I want to scream but what's the point. He doesn't know I know and he is coming to visit me tomorrow with her (whom I've met only twice) and the thought gives me instant anxieties. Why would he not tell me privately? This is going to kill me to look her in the eyes and congratulate her with the fakest of smiles. Needless to say, God and I are going to have a bit of fight tonight as to why I am less deserving lol. All I can say is, Grrrr, I can barley articulate my thoughts let alone write them.

Saving: I'm starting a hobby/hobbies candle making & Wood burning to sell for my fertility funds. I've been trying to get a job..but no luck so I will make my OWN JOB DOG GONE IT!!

hopelesss: UUGGG that is sucky! I am so sorry to hear that...not sure if u were the one who mentioned this possibility of them saying they are going to start trying and it killed u bc they haven't been together that long or something? it may have been someone else....but ne ways i totally know how u feel. i am just waiting for the next pregnancy to be announced and just praying its not someone i have to see on a regular basis. how terrible is that? u know i work with a girl who is thinking she needs to get on the ball with ttc and i she has irregular periods so i have kinda talked to her about charting temps and things, but at the same time i am so worried that she will get pregnant before me....its a terrible jealous feeling and it hasn't even happened yet! But ne ways to talk u off the ledge....just try to be happy for her bc ONE DAY SOON it will be you! and u will get share with them the wonderful news! u never know when it is going to happen! Hang in there!!!

Kmison- lol, I like my new name change because that is how I feel at the moment! Yes, that person you speak of was me, they officially started dating in September, before that they just talked on a dating site. So basically, if I do the math, she got knocked up almost exactly 2 weeks after they started dating. And it was intentional!! He told me they both wanted kids very soon but jeez, I didn't think he meant this soon. So now I get to watch her belly grow. This feels like a cruel joke. Im still waiting for Ashton Kutcher to jump out and say I've been Punked. Anyway, thanks Kmison, I will definitely find some inner strength here and try my best to be happy for them. I know in time I will. I just wish my stupid period would hurry the heck up so I can get on with my next cycle already!

Oh Amanda!! I am so sorry I wasn't there for you this evening. How absolutely awful! I feel for you, truly. At least my brother was married to the girl he knocked up. This is so horrible. Ugh. Don't give her a fake smile. Don't give her anything at all aside from a "I hope you realize how lucky you are". The baby that she carries is the only one that matters now. That is how I feel about my nephew. I love him almost as much as I love my own daughter. She even wishes he were her baby brother instead of her cousin.

It is beyond me how those "less deserving" can get pregnant so easily, while the rest of us spend thousands of dollars, spend year after year-full of heartache and tears, and we have nothing. Nothing to show for it. I'm in tears now, for you my dear. Tears at how truly unfair this all is for us. You and me and all of these beautiful, loving, deserving and waiting women.

You are stronger than you know. You'll make it through his visit. You'll make it through this. I hope that you'll be blessed with your own pregnancy before hers is over.

Hugs to you my friend.

OMG hopefulll i dont even know why that came out beside i was thinking about that situation making u and me feel hopeless....so sorry and at one point one a different forum that was my screename.... my bad ! I hope ur visit today goes ok, and she isnt too over excited and rubbing it in...does she or your brother have any idea the struggles u are going through?

Thank you for the very kind words Melissa:) A night of sleep definitely helped me put things into perspecive. It If this was some randon person or a coworker I would probably say congrats and that would be it. Because this is my next nephew or neice I am going to react how "old" Amanda would act, before this fertility crap changed the person I used to be. I won't let it control me, not for this. So i'm driving my butt out to walmart and grabbing a small gift and a card. The last thing I want is for this woman's first memory of her sister in law to be a bad one. What gets me through this is believing that I will soon have a bump right along side her and we can bond over that. Worse case scenario I'll just steal her baby when he/she comes out!!! HA, kidding!! Don't call the police lol. Anyway, my bro and I had a heart to heart and I think he finally gets how I feel. What I can't help but laught at though is that he claims that they had sex unprotected on the 3rd day of her period and that she must have gotten pregnant from that!! Bahahaha, come on! Unless she has the worlds shortest cycle it doesn't make much sense. Just be honest with me people! He says the nurse told them it's rare but possible for sperm to live up to 5 days which means she would have ovulated on cd 8 and therefore have a 22 day cycle. I supppose it's possible but still stupid and irresponsible in my opinion.

Kmison- lol, no worries, I just thought you were being ironic lol. It took a while to get him to get my situation. He sort of thought we were trying but not hard core trying which makes me laugh because he knew we were doing IUI which is pretty serious trying. Anyway, I think things will be better going forward. She thought I was going to hate her for gettng pregnant so fast so obviously she gets it lol.

Hi Ladies!!!

Hopeful: I know this might sound strange to you, but when I was younger (Around 13 or so) I actually had a 19 day cycle that lasted for years. So it is not all that strange for your brother's gf to have a 22 day cycle. I remember hating going through that, because I felt like I always had my period!!! (Especially at that age)

Just take solice in the fact that you are going to get a beautiful niece or nephew one day! (Also, if you steal him or her, I won't call the cops for you, LOL)

I have 2 beautiful nieces whom I adore so much & I find comfort in them. I love them to pieces!

I pray that God helps all us ladies who are TTC, may He bless our wombs and tons of baby dust to us all!!!

So, I put a call in to my RE for our final IUI. I'm on CD2 now. AF came yesterday. If I hadn't tested when I did, I'd never have known. I really think my "evaps" from last cycle actually very faint BFP's and so I feel now that I had a chemical with that one too. I've asked if my RE will order estrogen for my lining and progesterone for after O. I'm also going to ask if I can take a second dose of trigger at 7dpo. There is some research out there that says that can help.

I plan on starting up regularly again with taking B100 complex and EPO until O. I'm also going to get some low dose aspirin and take one of those each day too.

DH told me I needed to do something different, so I'm planning in calling for an few acupuncture appointments also. At least with all of the above, I'll feel like I truly gave it my all.

Lisserb- I think that's a great idea! I did acupuncture for 3 cycles and felt very relaxed after and it did help with my lining. I'm also taking 81mg aspirin and since doing that my lining is now in the normal range though they said it wasn't "too bad" before which I think was B.S lol. I think your last evaps were BFP's too and as I said before you really are fertile Myrtle, you just need an little extra somethin'. I've never heard of the 2nd trigger but that's really interesting. I'm cycle day 1 today due to my progesterone suppositories making AF come late so we will cycle buddies again minus a day lol. I'm actually having a glass of wine as I type so(raising glass), here's to the next round!