Community post

el2011 - so very sorry for your loss. i've been there and i was devastated. i hope that your body handles it without having to go in for a d&c and it's good to hear that you like the medical group you're working with. no need to worry - this is definitely a safe place and you can write about anything you're feeling. i hope the holidays let you relax and recuperate. here's hoping the new year will bring you better news!

KatieMay, your in my thoughts all the time. Thanks. I do feel better knowing an appointment is set. Crazy as that seems. I never thought about calling the health clinic to find out what to do about that male fertility test but I did think about buying the one you do from home. It's best to test all factors just to be safe. Yay, for being off work but even bigger yay about going to Mexico in about a month. Lucky. Thats awesome lucky how you came into this world.

Well, I was sitting here staring at the page and realizing that all my FM2B girls are all the new ones expect a few but they don't even check in regularly now. I miss my kelly, and Beca. It seems all the original girls are either pregnant or taking a break from TTC. I know that I'm feeling sad knowing that this site use to be booming with talk of TTC and now its hard to have a constant flow going on. I hope to be joining my fellow FM2Bs soon and not later. I feel like my heart has been ripped out knowing they are not here talking with me on a daily basis. BUT I am VERY grateful for all you newbie FM2Bs. I would really feel lonely if I didn't have yall.

I think thats one of the hardest things is when you make friends either in person or on a forum and then they become pregnant and move on. My gosh watching everyone around me getting pregnant right now without even trying is making me so depressed and here i am just trying to even regulate my cycles.

I am going to be honest I feel stressed out and a lil depressed today. My cycle feels like its so messed up still this time around and I dont know how long its going to take be "normal" not just from birth control but also from pcos. :( My dh is only here in the country until april and early april at that so we will miss that cycle so the reality is setting in that it may not happen because in reality after this cycle.. i only have 3 more until he leaves for a freaking year.... and then by the time he gets home i will be 32... 32 and alone.. with no kids... I am TRYING not to get down about it and stress about it because i try to realize its in God's hands and its not always in my own control but watching the clock tick tick tick... is bringing on the depression. *sigh* I am going to try to enjoy the holidays.. my original O date is set for either christmas or christmas eve but bding will be a bit complicated as we are staying with family... lots of family. I think we are even sleeping in the living room this year of my MIL's .. bahhhhh.... humbug. lol... its been just an off year for me this year. 2012 has gotta be better.

Sorry ladies I am usually so optimistic but then i looked at a calendar today. :(

elizabethwig, how long before you felt 'yourself' again?

right now the worst part is the waiting. i feel so morbid walking around knowing that there's nothing alive inside me, but my body still thinks it's pregnant. it's bizarre and yet i have to go about my work day like everything is normal because no one here knows.

i go back and forth between being fine, feeling sorry for myself, and being angry. ugh.

knicole i feel you - i turned 35 this year and really feel the 'clock ticking' all of a sudden. my husband keeps reminding me that we know plenty of people in their late 30s who are having kids but i just keep thinking i don't know why i waited so long to start trying.

Hi El- I just read your post, is there any way you could take some time off work? I can't believe you're still working while going through this! Wow you are incredibly strong. Thinking about you lots.

knicole- thinking about you my dear. I know what you mean, O always seems to come at the most inconvenient times! It's never on the weekend when we're both home having a lazy day, but mid week when we'll barely see each other or be too tired to do anything about it!

I really hope it happens for you before April. That's still a ways away though so I wouldn't give up hope, I think you still have a very good chance :)

Bug- my dear bug. Wouldn't it be wonerful if it happened for us both in the same month!

I know what you mean, all this has definitely lost it's magic for me. I used to get so excited logging on, reading posts to see who got their bfp's, but then I realized pretty much every one had except for me and a few others and the excitment started to fade. It can only be wonderful, new and exciting for so long before it just becomes frustrating.

Even my friends in the real world I have become somewhat detached from. As I am the last one left I feel like it won't even be that magical when it does happen. Anything I will want to share with anyone they will already know or will try and tell me how it is. Would have been nice to get on the band wagon with everyone else, but I've missed that train. Maybe I'll catch the next train when everyone is on their seconds.

katiemay88, the only reason I didn't take more than the one day off work is because we're closed all next week until January 3rd - so I just need to get through the rest of today and a half day tomorrow. My boss isn't in tomorrow so I'll probably be able to coast for the most part and not have to worry about being super productive.

Otherwise I definitely would have considered either telling my boss or just taking vacation days if I had to. As it is, I was considering extending the holiday break to include the first week of January, but decided to hold off for now.

I most likely will have to take at least a week or two (or more, I don't know how long these things take to recover from?) off when I get the fibroid surgery done in the New Year too, so I don't want to use all my time until I know more.

and seriously thank you to everyone on this board. you don't know how much just writing these posts helps.

Everyone seems to have next week off! Yay for you guys! I'll be slaving away as usual. LOL

El - I'm so glad you get next week off. You are strong and I'm sure you can make it through the rest of tomorrow! Just half a day left!! You're in my thoughts and Prayers!

L - Wow. Yeah. Every time my BFF got pregnant it was always tough news. The first was exciting because I wasn't married, but the other two were just dreadful. And she was say, I'm going to see if DH will start trying for a baby and then 3-4 weeks later, I'm pregnant! Really? Some people are just extra lucky. My sister is due tomorrow with her bundle of joy. She's never wanted a baby in her life and has no plans on marrying her boyfriend, but they live together and seem happy. She has finally come to terms with the fact she's going to be a mom and is kind of getting exciting. I think that was worse than my best friend. But it's amazing how strong we can be. I really never thought I could go through something like this and I'm not only surviving I'm actually able to thrive. You WILL get your bundle of joy too! Hopefully much sooner than later! Once your past your mourning stage, run to her and shower her with love and praise, the hardest thing to remember is, it's not their fault we can't get pregnant and we love them still.
(sorry that was much longer than I planned...

Bug - I am so so excited for you! (do you mind if I keep calling you bug or do you prefer Hannah?)
I hope that your fix is as easy as one week clomid!! A friend of mine was. She cannot get pregnant on her own, but 1 or 2 months with clomid and boom worked for both of her pregnancies! Hopefully it'll be the same with you guys!

Katiemay - It never hurts to get answers! Hopefully if there is something, itâ??s an easy solution for you too! We all deserve little ones to hold! Whoohoo Mexico! JEALOUS!

Knicole - I'm so sorry you feel that way! . 3 months is more than enough time! And since you're temping it will increase your chances! you get that bean before he leaves! 32 isn't that bad! My sister just is 32 and about to have a baby People have babies up until 40 too. I am nearly 28, so I'm not that far behind You're right, it is in God's hands. And what brings me comfort is he knows the exact hour we will get pregnant. The sex of the baby. How many babies we will carry full-term. And every single detail. We just need to focus on the things we do know, like what is in life right around us. Are we loving God and being as Christ-like as we can? That kind of stuff, and let God take care of everything else. He doesn't keep these from us to worry and stress us, but to bring peace and joy and let us trust in him and enjoy life as it is. Which is HARD when you want a baby as long as we have, but his timing is perfect and we just have to trust that. Don't be sorry for having the feelings you have. They are justified and we are here to listen!!

AFM: CD2
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!! I hope everyone enjoys the holidays with family, friends, food and LOT S OF LOVE!!!!! Oh and BDing too.....I mean, even if it's not O time, we can all use a little practice right

Aww Bug- I am here girl! Im sorry I havent been around...
Its been crazy with Christmas and work...Work is really killing me...I have been more stressed out in the last few weeks then my entire year here so far...And I am trying really hard not to stress for the bean's sake...I miss you too and you are always in my thoughts...I have only really had enough time to come and check out your posts but no been able to respond...
Even when I dont check in I still think about you and Katie and Praying.
Im so sorry AF ruined your Christmas. But with all the Christmas rushing around Im sure you will be distracted. Take some time to enjoy a few drinks at Christmas and perhaps like you said the new year will bring better fortune.

El - I am really sorry to hear about your loss...I was just reading about you on CMP.... I hope you arent in too much physical pain. At least you will have a little time during the holiday to let your body rest. And you hubby is probably being super supportive which always helps. Wait until you think you are ready to share the news of the M/C...but Im sure your family and maybe even the co-working will be supportive in this time of need. Good luck on your next go...try to stay positive. There could be a million good reasons why this didnt work out. But put your faith in god and remember we are always here if you need a shoulder to cry on.

Katie - Keep you chin up my dear...I know its hard..and can be stressful...I thought it would never happen! I really thought this last cycle was a bust...
Even if you dont do all the temping and OPK's and such, you can still BD like crazy! BD even if not "to conceive" can be fun to do with DH and really bring you closer because its not just about getting preggers... I will you all the best in the new year and hope it happens soon for you!

Connie! girl its been such a long time since I heard from you!! I hope all is well... CD 2...maybe you will have the first conceived baby of 2012! wouldnt that be exciting! I wish you all the best!

Knicole - You are a new FM2B TTCer welcome!
Good luck on the future cycles...I will try to keep in touch with everyone and follow your story! I was also a FM2B not too long ago so I always wanna see more of my fellow ladies get BFP's.

I may not be on till after Christmas but I will try to Check in...

Love all you ladies! I am praying for each and everyone of you...Merry Christmas to all...
Enjoy this time with Family and keep TTC on the back burner until you feel better about it. Stressing doesnt help your body do the right stuff!

xoxoxoxo

You ladies are so great! you all just said all the right things i needed to hear! since this was kind of down day for me. And Connieg THANK YOU for that reminder. I really needed to hear that! all of you.. are such blessings! :) oh now i am getting all sentimental :D time to keep my head up again! SOOOO much to you all!