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Journal

ED Sucks

4/18/2020
A shameful moment came last night as my hubby and I tried to baby dance. Things, I know already.
It's not something I had no clue about but I was wanting "some" not just because of trying to have a baby but because my needs need met too. .
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The words just came out of my mouth in the middle of BDing. "It's not getting hard. Do I not turn you on?" Those words I said hurt my hubby. My hubby who suffers from PTSD due to serving in the Army, which has caused ED to be a factor sometimes. And sometimes happened to be last night. I know he felt bad. I had to walk away. I took a moment to breath to pray and to cry. .
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When I went back upstairs, I asked him to turn the TV off. I went over with tearfully eyes and apologized. Saying I was sorry for saying those words, for not being respectful of how he might have felt, too. He said he was sorry, it was his fault. I said no, it's not your fault. You can't control it. He admitted to me he has been praying for his ED. I just hugged him and said we will get through this. .
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On top of having unexplained infertility. He just suffers from ED. We have magic pills but he doesn't want to take them all the time. I understand. .
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He did request we reschedule the appointment for the Specialist as soon as we can. Since COVID-19 canceled our appointment for March. I told him we might need it. He said we might. .
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Praying for our promise seed to come soon. I know God has promised us our promised seed.
4/19/2020
Another night of failure to BD, with promises that the hubby would take the magic pill in the morning. .
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Morning came, I awoke and he was getting ready but BDing still didn't happen. Why? Why did you not involve me in the process? Missed opportunity. Words shot off like fireworks, waterworks started, prayers were said, hugs were given, I love yous said, and then I asked if he would take Maca and read the words off the bottle to him "May support sexual well-being for men and women." Just take one starting in the morning. .
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30 minutes later I handed him one of the pills. We started watching our virtual sermon and 30 minutes in he looks over at me and said "I think the pill worked." Asking why you think so not noticing the stallion in his pants. He pointed and i was like do we need to take care of this. He shooked his head. Paused church and BDing started. I laughed and cried and praised God. . .
Ladies and Gents, his magic pill never worked like that. I have never seen it be a stallion. Maca is his new magic magic pill. I am beyond amazed and yes thanking God for this affect on him. Because when we prayed we prayed for God to heal our body and minds for us to choose to be healthier and to put him first. We can't do life without him and that means in all things. .
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God made man a helper and that helper is woman. Man was told to leave his parents and united with his wife becoming one flesh. Genesis 2:18,24.
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Benefits of Maca for my hubby is our answered to our prayers.


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1 Comment • 6 months ago


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I’m so sorry you are both going through this. I feel your pain as my husband has the same issue. He’s on high BP medication and it has a similar effect. He might get hard for a short time but finishing is sometimes an uphill battle that we lose. Big hugs girl. Together, y’all will get through this. <3

6 months ago


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