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Im still here ! Oh hannah im sorry :( here's to 2012 being our year! Fx and many prayers ! Well I honestly amd trying not to focus on ttc this cycle I am honestly just trying to regulate my cycle . Have not seen a flow from af.since march so if this is not my month so be it . I have a good feeling about januarys cycle .I am on Cd10 today and I had some strong o pains on the right side which is wow ..
early . I usually have the o pain on day 14/15. The isoflavones are making my cm pretty dry so I think that if use the isoflavones next cycle I will take mucinex along with the si. We have timed bding pretty welll if I have od early but my cm is not ine favor of the swimmers so who knows . Im done with the isoflavones now will wait for my temp to rise then will start the progesterone cream . Still taking sitawari though .This sounds nuts im saying this but I do hope to see a regular af flow this month so I know my body can even conceive normally and that im healthy.

Hello ladies! I know; it's been awhile.... unfortunately, it looks like I'll be joining you again for the new year. I started bleeding yesterday, and after some very long doctors appointments today, they found that I had evidence of two sacs... but no heartbeats... one was empty and the other looked like there was some blood inside. (Sorry if that's too much information!)

Not only that but my fibroid has grown to 14cm and they found two more... there was quite a crowd in my uterus apparently!! (It explains why I looked so much farther along than 8 weeks). They didn't cause the miscarriage but may have caused serious problems down the line anyway, so maybe this is for the best. I'm waiting on my doctor to call back and discuss whether I should wait and let this happen naturally or if she thinks I should have a d&c.

I dread having to untell my in-laws and my sister, but am actually glad my parents don't know yet (we were going to announce it at Christmas), because I think my mom would be devastated and I don't think I can stomach that right now. I kind of wish I hadn't told my friend at work... debating whether to hold off until our week off and just text her.

ANYWAY... sorry if this is all a big downer... but I just feel like this is a safe place for me to talk and kind of wanted to get it out. I feel fine, mostly... but I have moments. I really wanted this to happen for me. It's a lot to process right now and I'm not sure WHAT to feel.

I am really sorry to hear that el2011 :/ I will be sending you many prayers .2012 has GOT to be a luckier year . 2011 for me has been full of disappointment and heartbreak so needless to say im looking forward and staying positive for 2012 . :)

I'm so sorry el. That is just awful!
I can't even imagine your pain and so close to christmas. I really hope that you are able to find joy during the holidays through your grief! You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Bug. I'm sorry the witch came! She is on her way with me as well. I just really really wanted us to get that christmas present this year. But I know you will get that + next year! Hopefully in January :)

I'm still hanging around popping in everyone once in a while. I expect AF tomorrow since there was a pink tint to my cm today. And i have had 3 days of negative HPTs and OPKs.
My sister had contractions last night about 20 minutes apart. But they are gone today. Her step-sons birthday is today so she will be happy not to have her baby today. She is due friday the 23rd, so we are expecting to be in the hospital for christmas. I was really hoping to get a + so i could handle this little baby girl a little easier. But that was not in God's plans, so here's hoping I can find joy in a BFN, a new baby neice and christmas with family.

MERRY CHRISTMAS to everyone (early in case I don't check in again beforehand)
I hope you all have a very merry christmas, and enjoy your family and friends! Even though we are all going through so much, we still have things to appreciate and find joy in that are tangible. Hope we can all remember that through the holidays!!

KatieMay, Yes, being blessed with a baby would hopefully make it more inclined to come to us for once. Yay, for a week off. My hubby has the week off too. I know how you feel. This Sunday night I'm going to probably be going through the same thing. You never know you could have ovulated and no signs isn't necessarily a bad thing either.

Kristin, Thanks 2012 will be our year. Fx'd that January is your cycle and Af finally shows up and you can be onto getting that BFp. Yes, Soy does dry you up. I use Preseed but I am already dried up anyways I think to a hormone imbalance or dominance issues. If that doesn't work try Vitex I hear it can help bring on AF.

Elle, I'm so sorry hunny. Not to much information at all sweetie. I hope that they can figure out how to take care of the fibroids so that you can go onto having a healthy pregnancy and no issues later on down the road. I'm sorry your having to go through this. You are in a safe place. Stay strong and vent and cry all you wont with us. Thats what we are here for.

Kristin, They say that In the Chinese new Year aka year of the water dragon is suppose to be a very lucky prosperous year. Due to the end of a 60 year horrible cycle. So, the world should see some improvements in economics and what not. I also hope that means 2012 will bring on a baby boom like the Chinese have predicted. Hugs to you.

Connie, I have been thinking about you a lot lately and have wonder where you have gone. Thank you! I'm sorry that you didn't get your Christmas present either. I hope you can find the courage and joy in al lthat is about to come at the end of this week. Hugs to you.

Thank you for reminding us that we have things to be joyful about during the holidays. And I'm thankful for a lot of things like having a house over my head, food in my belly, a loving family, and especially my lovely hubby. The ability to buy a business.

Thank you all - I'm so glad to have this place to come to - both now and when I start trying again. I haven't told anyone yet (except my husband who was with me when we found out). I've sort of made peace with it at this point but I know being around my 1-month old niece and my 10-month old goddaughter is going to to be hard this weekend.

I was told once my body fully processes the miscarriage in a week or two I can go see a specialist at my ob/gyn about the fibroids. Supposedly even though they're large there's the possibility I can do the operation as a robot-assisted one which means smaller incision and less recovery time. Hoping that works out. Good news is that I do like this ob/gyn group - they are matter-of-fact but still sensitive to the patient, and very good about explaining things.

Sorry I have been MIA ladies...
So much going on this past week. Before I get all carried away with my bs...
El- praying for u and so sorry that you had to go through all of this. I hope that in next weeks u try to take it easy and take care of yourself. Xo

Katie may- miss hearing from you and hope u r doing well. Any Plans for the holidays? Where r u on ur tww? Xo baby dust

Bug- in the same boat as u!! I'm sorry about ur holidays being spent dodging the fam competition and baby gamers... As I like to call them. I have some fam but mostly friends like that. The most ridiculous part is even the ones who have gotten their bfp's still compete! It's like really??? Ugggh. Xo

Afm- had a horrible couple of days. BFF who is getting married sept 2012 found out shes 3 months pregnant. She wasnt trying they actually used a condom and she was on bc. And here I am nothing for almost 2 years and still not blessed. Anyways she is like my sister to me and it was so hard to be happy for her because I am but I was being too selfish with my own life struggles to really tell her how happy I am. Needless to say they r post ponying the wedding and she and her hubby said "we weren't planning on this but we are so excited and ready." oye, seriously!!!? The only thing keeping me sane is the fact that dh and said we weren't going to our families (dh fam is in Missouri and mine is in nor ca) we wanted to spend it together with our pup in big bear. Must say we r having a blast very romantic with All the snow! Plus I should be ov soon but no opks or temps As this I think the last cycle we will have before dh deploys :( but trying tO bd as much as possible--have fun and be thankful. Trying to keep my head up and have a nice time.
Wishing everyone a blessed and warm holiday. I will try to be back on near Friday sometime

Xo
L

Elle, I hope that your body fully processes the miscarriage without needing a D/C. and that you can get those Fibroids taken care of. And I heard those time of surgerys are awesome. I'm glad you like the Ob/gyn group.

L, Hugs to you dear and I'm sorry to hear about your BFF. Seems unfair. I hate that and it makes me really doubt the man upstairs, even though I know I shouldn't.

Well, I have made an appointment with an OB/GYN for January 17th. Hoping we get some answers within the next couple of months. However, in the mean time. My hubby and I are taking Maca Root to help with both our reproductive systems. It's really a vegetable so its food. Hoping that when I go in for my appointment. That I get hey your pregnant since Af will be due around that time instead of lets see what your options are in testing and what needs to be done.

Whew, I feel neverous and relief that I may be getting some answers in the next couple of months. Hoping that I get that BFP instead of seeing a doctor for help but I'm still feeling positive about seeing a doctor FINALLY!!!!

Hey everyone :)

el- I am so sorry for your loss. You are an amazingly strong person. I really hope your body processes it on it's own too. Thinking about you and hoping you make a speedy recovery. Take lots of time to relax.

L- I hear ya, it's never easy now when people have pregnancy announcements, especially when they're not even trying, or worse preventing!

I'm on cd 23 of a 28 day cycle. I don't feel any different at all and definitely think I'm out this month. The only time we bd that was even close to ovulation was cd 12, and I usually O around cd 15, so it was probably to soon.

Thinking of you and wishing you the best of luck this cycle :)

Bug- Congrats on making your appointment! It definitely does make one feel better :) I called our health clinic to find out what we have to do for a male fertility test, and she said all you do is see your family doc or go to the clinic and they'll refer you to a urologist who will do a sperm test. I thought it would be so much more complicated!

Although, I think I kind of thought too fast about it all and realized, even if DH does have a problem I should still probably get tested anyways just in case. Because if he is borderline for sperm it may not be terrible, but then if I have something really wrong with me I guess it wouldn't matter too much about his sperm count anyway. I guess I just want to know if it is impossible, I would rather know now instead of spending endless months hoping for what can't be. DH is going to call in the new year, which has put my mind somewhat at ease.

AFM- Well, I'm not too sure if/ when I O'd this time, but if so I would be around 8 dpo. AF is due the 28th. I don't feeling different/ no symptoms.

Really looking forward to a week off work though, then back to work for a month then a week off to Mexico! SO I'm glad I have a lot else going on right now. And if it doesn't happen this cycle, or next cycle at least I can drink on the trip! Merry Christmas everyone!

P.S. I just wanted to add that my mom got pregnant with me and my dad had a vasectomy! My dad even went back in to have a test and the doc told him he never should have been able to have a child! And there wasn't any funny business lol, I'm definitely my daughter's father. So I sure wish my mom could pass some of that fertility onto me!