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@Nasake awww thank you. I'm sorry for the insensivity. My sister is the same. I got 4 brothers and 1sister. She is like, well you are not pregnant yet? What are you waiting for. You are getting older and blah blah blah. She is 35 and has 4 kids, 2 boys 2 girls. They can t or won t understand what we are going through. Losing a child is 1 of the worst pain that no one should endured. That already give you a pass for everything. Stay strong. And you are right. Let s stay positive. Will you try for iui if this cycle does not result in bfp? That is my plan.

Nasake Thank you for the positive thoughts! It really means so much to me!
I’m so sorry you have to deal with insensitivity. Sometimes people around us won’t even understand that they said something hurtful or something that sounds so so bad to us!
Once my very best friend who knows me for years while talking about my hubbys Low sperm motility asked me “why don’t you go without him knowing in a sperm bank and do IVF?” I was so shocked I couldn’t even talk.. I realized after showing her my confusion and disappointment that she didn’t mean it as it sounds and she hardly thought about wha she was suggesting. I haven’t kept hard feelings after that but I can’t stop thinking about it sometimes...

Lalou I’m so sorry girl! I held a tiny hope for you (and still am tbh till the witch comes)! I know how you feel about your sister. My brother had a baby 4 years ago and his wife got pregnant on 1month postpartum Now they have two sweet boys almost at same age with only 10months difference and they struggling NOT to get pregnant again. But here I am struggling to get pregnant for almost 9 years. Once my brother told me “you have to believe it will happen and you’ll see that it will”.... “when we wanted to have our first one I just said ok let’s do it and we did it on first try... you have to just believe it will happen” ... that was his advice on my infertility. He said that with pure love of course and without even imagining what I’m going through every day of my life the last 9 years trying.. I don’t blame ppl who never tried to conceive. They just never been in our shoes and I cannot keep hard feelings. Their journey is different and only thing we can do is smile and agree with them!

K+Nmomma I’m very happy that you got your bfp girl! Just on time! I hope you’ll stick around for a while and keep us updated! Old friends who got their bfp is always welcome and they keep us motivated! At least that’s how it works for me

AFM I’m 5dpo today and I’m not feeling it! Yesterday around noon I got really depressed and I kept thinking that I’m an old lady who never got her own family... I’m compromising with my two cats and I’m “stealing” moments of joy with other people’s kids (my brothers for example) and that’s so very sad.... I cried yesterday a lot. Alone... When I told hubby how I felt he took it personally saying that he thought he was my family.. he was right from one point of view. He is my family but that wasn’t what I meant. I hope he understands and just trying to be hard on me in order to “wake” me up from my depression... sorry ladies that I’m using this board as a journal today but I needed to vent... from tomorrow I’m expecting to start feeling differently if I got pregnant this cycle which I highly doubt. 8 days left....

Awww Alex I'm so sorry. I hope that you will feel better soon. It is very different for men. And it is even harder for us to explain them exactly how we feel. You are one of the bravest people that I know and still you do not give up. I hope you had a good glass of wine. Wipe off your tears, put your chin up and be proud of all your accomplishments. Being a mother is also being amazing aunt to your nephews. There is no shame to have or to be. Stay brave and do not give up. Like ever. You rock!!!

Thank you lalou! How are you? Any signs of AF?
You’re right.. it’s different for them and we have to accept it!
I don’t give up because I have no other choice.. I tried to give up. I wish it wasn’t in my mind 24/7, I wish I could just roll with my life and enjoy my every day as it is but I cannot. I see it all around me. Babies, pregnant women, happy families and my heart aches... I want to be a mother and I know I’ll be a good one.. I wish I didn’t want at this point, really!
Today I’m 6dpo. Temps are up and stable. Boobs hurting as normal and I have a small skin break out. Everything is normal for me. Nothing off here.. I know it’s still early but who am I kidding right?

So sorry to read about the insensitivity people are having to put up with from family, etc!

Nasake, I had a similar experience with my miscarriage - people are just uneducated. My Grandmother in law said to me "what did you do? Did you lift something heavy?" ????????‍?? People mean well... Most of the time.. But daaang they can be hurtful! Isn't it nice to imagine our angel babies playing in Heaven though?

Try to keep your chin up Alex, it hurts my heart to see you so down! I want this for you so badly! I know it can happen. My Husbands cousin struggled with infertility for over eight years, and only finally got pregnant after a Novena to Saint Philomena, and a promise to the Saint to go on a pilgrimage in her honor! No ivf or iui etc. Our whole family is very devout traditional Catholic (think Latin Mass, Chapel Veils, Rosary beads etc) so ivf and such don't align with our beliefs. Miracles do happen! Pray!

Lalou, it ain't over yet! I hope this is your month! It's so hard watching people around you have baby after baby when you want another but are struggling. I felt very down the whole time we're we're TTA for my mental health. My BIL and SIL in the meantime had two more, and would tease Andy and I about having another. They'd say we have no idea how hard it is with more than one, essentially hint at us being selfish and choosing the easy life. NGL I have wanted to smack them over these comments at times.

K&N I'm just so so soooo happy for you and your sticky bean! Keep us posted. You remind me so much of one of my brothers best friends growing up that I swear when I see your dp you feel like family! You also have the same warm heart.

AFM, I'm 3dpo! This will put me at 12dpo on my birthday, so I'll wait to test until then. Hoping for the best birthday present ever! I think my follicular phase shortened because I stopped taking vitex this cycle (I had been using it to lengthen my luteal phase, but stopped because my follicular phase was longer and my periods were getting too light) I'm taking maca, garlic oil (because I'm trying to ward off any sicknesses) cranberry (to prevent uti), a probiotic (post antibiotic course), and just started a prenatal at 1dpo. All of my bloodwork came back great, and the dentist went great too. No urgent need for the wisdom teeth to come out, and no cavities! The only thing that's bugging/worrying me at this point is [TMI] some pelvic pain. I don't know if it's because we have literally not dtd during ovulation for three years (since our son was born) and maybe now I'm just very sensitive during my fertile phase, or if it was simply the fact that it was way more activity than usual, but I'm just very achy and uncomfortable! I'm going to try to get back into my routines and keep busy around the house (I love the Flylady system!) and I think I'll try to plan out some fun stuff to distract me too. I've been wanting to go to a movie for ages!

Good luck to us all!

No it is still early. We are going all the way Alex. Today I went to church. 10 days late no AF. Major cramping yesterday. I left everything in God s hands. I made my peace and prayed for you and all the women looking to conceive. Keeping the faith.

My heart is breaking for you Alex, and all of you trying to get your bfps. I know the feeling all too well and being pregnant now feels amazing, but still very heartbreaking for those that struggle as you never forget that feeling. Stay strong ladies, your bfps are en route, they may just be taking the detour xxxx

E_massey Thank you
I have everything crossed for you that you’ll get a bday bfp!! I’m so exited to see what’s gonna happen!!

Lalou Thank you for your prayers! I’m keeping you and all the ladies in here in my thoughts every night before I go to sleep! I think whenever I have a feeling for someone in here, it comes true except of me lol no AF is always a good sign! I hope we see from you a late blazing bfp

Thank you Noodle!! How are you feeling?

AFM today was a good day. I had a million things to do so they kept me distracted for the most part of the day! 7dpo and nothing strange still... only thing is that I have a shooting pain in lower abdomen, very low which is running through my whole leg like electricity.. I don’t thing is pregnancy related but I thought to mention it. Maybe someone in here had something similar before

@alex I heard a lot of people that said that shooting pain was a good one. I have good vibes for you.

AFM AF came today!! IUI cycle is on the way. I will be taking Femara cd3-7 50mg. And I am waiting for nurse called to go in for ultrasound and blood test. So excited!!!!

Alex- I had a corpus luteum cyst with pain like this. Pain started after ovulation and it was from time to time, nothing serious. But like a week after, I went to ER because terror pains around my ovary and in my back started at night, couldn't even breathe when pain hit me, it was huge corpus luteum cyst, but luckily it went away by itself in few months. But it can be whatever, so try not to worry too much and relax. I'll keep you in my thoughts

Lalou3tt3- I'm so excited for you!! I'll keep you in my thoughts, I really think your IUI will be a success and you'll get your

I'm CD34 and yesterday I took two tests, one had really-really light pink line, but another one was empty, today same thing. I think my tests are faulty ors, because you can see two white lines on them if you take them out of the package. Still no PMS or AF symptoms, but I think I'll get my AF on 3 days, then I have my driving lessons and I always get my AF on that day and then almost die because of my tummy pain in my lesson :D it's like real murphy thing lately. ps: just to clear it, it's more complicated to get your driving license in here than in US. We need to pay and take 30 hrs of driving lessons, take 30 hrs of classes about traffic rules and everything, then complete driving test+traffic rules test at driving school, then if w succeed we can go to county and do those tests there too, and if you succeed you get your license, and if not, you need to do them again. So I've been busy with that lately and it helps me keep my mind busy with something else than overthinking everything about my cycle.

And thank you everyone for being so nice, sensitive and supportive. I really love this community to everyone who's waiting and to lucky big fat positive test owners