Community post

Hey ladies! Been a bit since I've stopped by. Lots going on :)

2moms2b~gd luck testing tmrw :)) how exciting!

Margie~sorry about ur visit with ur friend. I'm sure she totally meant nothing by it. Prob thinks she's giving helpful advice even. I think girls who have never been through it just don't understand so I always just gave those people the benefit of the doubt. It saved me a lot of grief lol! I hope ur day/week gets better!!!

Chaffins~yay for ur baby girl!!!

AFM~so I'm pretty sure we definitely saw boy parts on the last 2 ultrasds! 2 different docs did them and they both said the same thing! Lol! So we r doing our gender reveal in a few weeks and we have one more ultrasd b/w now and then so we will double check but I'm pretty positive it's a BOY!!

2moms2be - Thank you so much for your support. I just feel like I've been negative lately. I love the fact that I can talk on here and not feel like I'm crazy. I know she meant well but I'm getting tired of people telling me to relax or that I can just adopt. I've looked into our options and at this point I think IVF is our best chance moving forward.

Shan - Congratulations! little boys are awesome. When we first started trying DH really wanted a little boy. Now he just wants us to have a baby. I don't usually get upset with people but I find talking about my infertility and my CP makes me feel sad. I try not to dwell on it too much since it still upsets me. I know she isn't a bad person, she meant well by it, but it doesn't make the comment any easier to take.

@margie-I am sorry your coworker said that. No matter her intentions, I don't think they were bad, it's just not the thing to say. I understand people saying it and it making sense to them, but if they really thought about it for a second they might realize that it's not the smartest thing to say. I always call it infertility etiquette. Most people don't know that adoption can be more expensive than IVF. Most people think...there are so many children that need homes...why can't you just take one of them....As if it were that easy...and as if it were what you want. I have never been against adoption, but always wanted to experience pregnancy and have at least one of my own. However, I dont think my husband would ever agree to adoption. He fears he would never connect. I know he would, but how to can you tell someone that fear is not legit?

it's ok to feel bitter about that comment. It's also in how the question is presented. The "Why don't you just adopt" comment i think is so rude. Why not ask...."Hey, this could be crossing the line, so please know that I am just really curious, but would you ever consider adoption? I don't know much about it the process, but maybe you could fill me in on it?" It's the same question..."So when are you having kids?" It's like...do you really think I can answer that question? Why not ask "do you want children?" there are some people who dont have kids because well, they chose not to. So asking them when are they having them is just as rude as asking someone who is trying to have kids but can't the same question. It's all about how the question is presented. Big difference! Infertility Etiquette i tell ya!

@Chaffins-glad baby girl is still a girl!

@Shan - BOY! Exciting! I think its good to confirm before you reveal, but sounds like a boy to me!

Ok, ladies, i am seriously trying not to fall asleep at my desk! SO TIRED TODAY! 33 weeks of pregnancy is starting to catch up with me!

2mom2be, I hope you have a positive test today!

Margie, well intentioned comments are often the most hurtful.

I do my IUI this morning. So, trigger Sunday night and IUI tuesday morning. Seems a little long to me, but it is the dr's protocol.

Margie- I'm new here, but I feel like that is (or should be) the point of forums like this! Of course people mean well, but as others have said, sometimes that hurts too. People don't know we're trying, so we've been going at it alone all while fielding the "when are you going to have kids" and "you're not getting any younger" questions/speeches.

i<3kids- good luck today! fx for a high count!

I tested this morning and got a BFN. I'm pretty confident we are out since it was a FRER with fmu. It's amazing how long and hard you can stare at something willing yourself to see a line that is not there. I'd like to say I cried a little bit and then I moved on with my day, but here I am at my desk and crying again. I shouldn't have tested this morning since I have a morning meeting with my boss where I will need to be composed.

I just don't know how to deal with disappointing both of us, knowing that almost none of this is covered by insurance so it ends up being almost $1400 per failed IUI cycle (we are using donor sperm which runs $840 a vial). I've read some success stories about getting BFNs at 12dpiui to try and cheer myself up. Any other suggestions?

Good morning ladies,

2moms2be - You're right. that seemsto be a big part of these forums. Particularly those which relate to fertility treatments.

I<3kids - You're probably right. My Dad keeps telling me that he thinks once we relax it'll happen for us. I told him that I don't think thats quite the case but who knows what'll happen.

LS - I agree, the people who tend to recommend adoption are ons that have never looked into it and so are unaware of the costs related with it. DH is alright with adoption but he really want biological children. I know that if we were ever told without a doubt we can't have kids he wouldn't hesitate to go through the adoption process. I can understand why your DH would be afraid of not connecting with them but I think you're right it's probably more in his head than what would actually happen.

AFM - I can't wait for my appointment tomorrow. I'm kind of nervous that I won't have any follicles, which I know is silly but I'll worry about it anyway. I'm excited because we have someone coming to fix our furnace today. We've been without heat for the past few days. During the day it's not so bad but first thing in the morning it's super difficult. I'm thinking about getting a tattoo that reflects my experiences with infertility. I've found some super cute ideas on pinterest. I'm going to meet with an artist in November to dicuss ideas. If I'm pregnant I'll wait until later but it's the first time in a while that I feel such a strong desire to get one.

Hey ladies! So, we just got back from the doctor, and she wants us to move on to other options... even though we've only tried 2 unmedicated IUI cycles. Is that normal? I always heard they didn't suggest other stuff until after your 3-4th failed cycle. Anyway, she wants to do a dye study of DW's tubes to rule out any blockages during this next cycle, and then she wants to move right into an IUI cycle with injectables (or IVF! what?!) the following cycle. What do you ladies think about all that? Does it seem really hasty to any of you? DW doesn't have any known fertility problems... we're just doing IUI because of a lack of male parts around here. So I just don't know what to think at this point.

@bridget - Due to the no male parts, IUI's of course make sense. I always find it odd though that doctor's don't do the HSG (dye test) to check for any blockages before hand. I guess its probably different for two women since that's really your only option. I had the dye test to rule out any blockages after a year of trying and my tubes were open. It's easy, and I did not find it painful one bit. But it does seem a little fast to move on from IUI, especially when they have been unmedicated. Before I switched clinics (just personal preference) we did two unmedicated IUI's. They would not have allowed us to do more than 6. At my new clinic, my doctor said he would not have even considered those two IUI's since they were unmedicated. To me, it seems too fast to move on. Any possibility of a second opinion?

Margie, dont worry, your appointment will be ok tomorrow and of course there is no way you wont have follicles! Try not to think such things and pass this process without stress. I am not going to tell you that stress doesnt help you, but i feel that the most important is not to lose time having negative thoughts. Try to enjoy every moment!
As about the coleague, i guess she just gave you an option just in order to say something. Of course, such info is not useful, as everybody knows that there is that option too which cannot be taken so easily, after a friend' s suggestion. We all say such things when we feel we are in difficult position and we have to say something that proves that the problem has solutions.
Good luck tomorrow!

2momsto be, i hope your case is a delayed bfp. My doctor trusts only btest and never pays attention on home tests. Good luck to you with the next test.

I<kids, good luck with the iui! Time passes quickly, isnt it?

Ls, are you still working? You wont have maternity leave?

Shan, when the doctors say it is aboy, it is for sure. For girls sometimes they are not sure. So congratulations! It is a boy!

Today i had estradiol test and tomorrow i start gonal. For three days both meds should be injected. Next wed (probably thursday as wed is a holiday), i ll have another estradiol test and a scan.

@bridget~after we had a failed IUI, or maybe it was 2 failed iui's, they had me go for the dye test to check for blockage. I would definitely say do it to be on the safe side. But I'd do a couple more IUI's with meds if they will let u. We tried clomid a couple cycles with trigger and femara a couple cycles with trigger. It multiplies her eggs so there's a much greater chance. The reason we had to do ivf was bc my husband had a vasectomy reversal and his sperm just wasn't penetrating the egg. Anyways, I sure hope they let u try an IUI or 2 with meds before jumping to ivf. Gd luck!!