Community post

Hi ladies!!

I've been a long time stalker of the boards, and mainly the ivf/iui threads. Today was a very rough day for me and I finally felt able to post here myself. This is probably going to be long, I apologize now

DH and I have been trying to conceive for two years now, back in april we went to our first RE appointment. We found out DH had an extremely low count, less than 100,000. He also started going to a urologist who put him on over the counter ConceptionXR to help with count and motility. After three months we went back for another SA and his count had gone up!! We had two tests done a month apart, the first was 40 million and the second was 45 million! We were ecstatic, but our RE was recommending that we still try ivf (He doesn't believe in the pills and thought our first test, done at a different office, was a fluke and we really have unexplained infertility). We decided to wait a few more months, convinced it would happen naturally. It didn't. So this cycle we decided to try iui. I took clomid and had a trigger shot. Today was the iui. When they brought us back for the procedure, I could tell something was wrong. Our doctor asked if DH had been doing anything differently. We both said no. He said DH's count had dropped to under 400,000. He recommended we not go through with the iui, but we decided to do it anyways. The doctor said our chance of conceiving this cycle is less than 1%. He then started pushing ivf again, which we just can't afford right now.

Needless to say, I'm devastated right now. I have no hope that we will get a positive, and am wondering if I need to switch doctors, or if this is what every doctor will tell me. I'm still in shock that the numbers dropped so drastically again. Has anyone else had any experiences similar to ours who can give any advice?
I should also mention all of my tests came back normal.

@mel-First off, welcome. Our stories are quite similar actually. About 7 months into trying, i urged my husband to go get tested with me. We knew you were supposed to wait the year mark, but i just had a very strong feeling something was wrong. He agreed and we went to the only clinic we knew of in our area. It was very well known so i trusted them. After all our initial testing was done, we learned that DH had very low counts. My AMH level (ovarian reserve) came back lower for my age, although they never said anything about it. They referred my husband onto their urologist to see if there was an infection or possibly a varicocele vein. This is similar to a varicose vein in their testes. Essentially, the vein(s) are much larger, increasing blood flow and killing the sperm from the heat. He did have one. Since surgery for this was covered by insurance, and fertility treatments weren't, we figured we would start with this. He had surgery and was retested three months, six months and nine months later. All tests showed insignificant improvement. Our doctor suggested we start with IUI. We did two through them, but during these, i just felt in my gut we were not in the right hands. I am a patient who wants to know what is going on, what we are doing and who we are dealing with. It was obvious they did not like questions, persistence, etc.

Finally, we decided to move on to a different clinic. It was a new home and they were/are amazing. They wanted to re-test us, which was a bummer, but i am so glad they did. They found that our previous clinic didnt test DH for the Acrosome reaction test, which basically tells you if the little "caps" on the heads of sperm come off during fertilization or not. If they don't come off, well, sperm can't fertilize. If they do, then they know IUI's and natural conception can happen. DH"s sperm didn't even live long enough to test....telling us IVF was our only option. Oh and remember my lower AMH....yeah that was pretty significant. I was 27 at the time, and my ovarian reserve was of a 35 year old. We moved on with IVF and are now 5 weeks away from expecting our little girl.

This was very long so i am sorry. But my point is basically this....if you feel like you need to take charge, do it. Do your research, look at yelp reviews, talk to people. IVF and IUI's are expensive. So i felt it was super important to have as much knowledge as possible. Good luck to you! Feel free to message me if you have questions. I am an open book (as you can see!)

Hi LSchrader. Thanks for responding. My husband also has a varicocele vein, but the deemed it to be very small. Our insurance would not cover that surgery which is why we pursued the pills instead. I have not heard of the Acrosome reaction test, I'm thinking DH did not have that done. I'll have to ask our doctor. That would have been nice to know before doing IUI......

In regards to finding another doctor, this is actually the third I've talked to in our area. The other closest to us is very insensitive, and his staff is extremely harsh. We absolutely will not go to them. The only other RE nearby is about an hour/hour-and-a-half away from us. She seems pretty nice, but her prices are also much higher

I'm not sure yet what we are going to do. It's a huge decision that is really weighing on us and time definitely feels like it is against us.

Thank you for your encouragement and congratulations on your pregnancy!!

Hi LSchrader. Thanks for responding. My husband also has a varicocele vein, but the deemed it to be very small. Our insurance would not cover that surgery which is why we pursued the pills instead. I have not heard of the Acrosome reaction test, I'm thinking DH did not have that done. I'll have to ask our doctor. That would have been nice to know before doing IUI......

In regards to finding another doctor, this is actually the third I've talked to in our area. The other closest to us is very insensitive, and his staff is extremely harsh. We absolutely will not go to them. The only other RE nearby is about an hour/hour-and-a-half away from us. She seems pretty nice, but her prices are also much higher

I'm not sure yet what we are going to do. It's a huge decision that is really weighing on us and time definitely feels like it is against us.

Thank you for your encouragement and congratulations on your pregnancy!!

Mel, hoping this iui works well, no matter the stats! All is needed is 1 to find the right way. As about the doctor, you should make a research about their experience and successful ratings. Pick the one you trust more and make you feel confident and then follow his/her instructions without worrying a lot! All this procedure needs you to be calm!

2moms, i am sorry you felt disappointed. Hugs girl! I really hope that the chances for this iui are still there, but you should feel ok as, after this experience, your doctor will adjust the treatment for having more matured follicles next time. Maybe with higher doses, or other meds.
As about, long waits in doctors' office... I really had that problem with the ivf clinic. At least 4 hours for an u/s or a discussion. At the day of eggs retrieval, we stayed 7 hours, mostly at queues. My supervisor at work knows, as i couldnt hide it.

I<3kids, as i see you still expecting the af. I hope for a late bfp dear. Were you on progesterone? Last time it delayed my AF by 10 days. I hope, for the best results and if it is meant af to come, i hope not to be late so that you can start your next cycle. My best wishes!!!!

Chaf, you are telling us that you are 20 weeks, oh my god! I feel that it was a month before telling us your bfp! So happy for you! Good luck with the next tests!

Babypath, i am happy for you too! How old is your older child? I didnt understand the senior pic. I hope the best for the whole family!

Margie, tomorrow is the big day! Fingers crossed for you!

Afm, embryo transfer was yesterday, we placed two very good ones. The doc said that we have good chances. In addition to all the medication, i was also prescribed injections for blood clotting. Also, i am given two weeks leave from work. The the first three days i should be resting. Then i can have my normal routine except from liftings, gyms, dances and intercourse. Btest in two weeks.

Looking forward only for good news!

YEY Kethryes :) - our doctor told us no BDing till the blood test ... hopefully you will BFP very soon :)

Margie - good luck tomorrow

Hey all!

Yesterday's anatomy scan was great! Little Nugget is feisty though and didn't want to do anything they wanted her to do, but they were able to check all her organs and measure everything. She's a big 12 oz! haha. she's breech right now and sitting right on my bladder, which she likes to kick whenever she gets bored.

I'll put a picture in my HPT Images.

As far as RE's go, we drove an hour and a half to another city because of the reviews of the doctor locally. She was great and we got pregnant on the first natural IUI. Sometimes it's worth the drive in the long run, and everything we did was covered by insurance except the $250 for the actual IUI and the sperm (from a sperm bank).

Just a thought!

@Mel - If insurance didn't cover the surgery, I am not sure that we would have done it either. His (i believe it was kinda a cluster) were pretty big, and although they caused him no pain, I guess it was nice to get taken care of. I really hope you get lucky this cycle. Trust me, it will happen and you will be so relieved that you are no longer having to decide if to proceed with an IUI or not. Fertility clinics can be so tough. The one we ended up at was actually about an hour and a half a way. It was a very big time commitment and thankfully we had great bosses who were on our side and totally understood. Our clinic also worked with us, making our appointments first thing in the morning....those were EARLY mornings, let me tell you! Good luck to you and I hope you get your BFP this cycle!

@keth - WHOOOOOOOO PUPO!!!!! Yeah lady! So excited for you! two little embies!! We transferred two also and got one little lucy! I am so excited for you and can't wait to root you on these next two weeks! Eat your warm foods, pineapple core (aids implantation) and keep those feet warm! I am serious about that! I did bed rest for the first 24 hours and then went back to "normal". We took it very easy though, no lifting, etc. We also did not DTD until after my blood work came back. Don't be surprised if DH doesn't want to for a little while afterwards either. My husband was way too nervous!

@chaffins- Glad your u/s went well! I think when they are this size, they are pretty stubborn since they have so much room. My baby was the same way. They were moving my table all over the place to get her to move. She was also breach at that point. Now she is head down and in position!

Good morning ladies,

Kethryes - Yay! two little embryos thats awesome. FX that the next little while goes by quickly for you.Congrats on being PUPO. FX you'll have your little one in the next 9 months.

Chaffins - I hope she moves off your bladder soon.

Mel - welcome. I know what you mean about it being a big decision. We were "lucky" in that our insurance only covers 1 fertility clinic in our area. so we've been going to that one for better or for worse. Sometimes I think I would like to try elsewhere but the cost would be way to much for us. I can sympathize with the drastic change in count. DH's aren't that low but they've been in the significantly lower numbers a couple of times. the next month it bounced back up. I hope thats something that happens for your DH.

2moms2be - I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the 17mm one was big enough to be mature. I know how frustrating it is to deal with doctors when they're more afraid of multiples than of not getting you pregnant.

badwolfbridget - welcome back! Thats amazing news about the adoption. I know DH and I have talked about adopting but we still want one of our own if we can.

AFM - well ladies I have to tell you. Today sucks. I had to rush my kitty Fur baby back to the emergency vet last night. He was completely blocked and they couldn't get him unblocked the same way they did earlier this week. So he ended up having to stay at the vet hospital overnight. I'm hoping that this will make him better for a while because if this happens again in a few weeks or a month I'm going to have to put him down and the thought of that just devastates me. To top it off DH decided he really wanted me to test this morning. I don't know why I did. My temp dropped a bit this morning so I kind of knew what the answer was going to be but there it was a BFN not even a squinter on it. I was hoping a BFP would balance out all of the bad that seems to be going on but no such luck. AF is expected tomorrow and I'm not holding out much hope that she'll be late. I wish I could have stayed in bed and just bawled my eyes out but unfortunately I have to work. DH told me that our silver lining in all of this is that we have a plan for moving forward. Somehow in light of everything this morning, that's not as much of a comfort as he would think.
I hope all of your days are going better than mine.

Margie so sorry about your kitty and bfn :( Well since you know that the af is coming at least lets hope the kitty gets better very soon.