@emma oh no I'm sending you so much love babe you dont deserve this
Okay so update for me... I had pinching on my left side today which is odd as its usually only right... CM increased like when I got home my underwear was almost completely white from cm (tmi I'm sorry)... I am also terrified of saying this but I'll be testing on the 19th as it marks the 10 month anniversary of my mc which is odd as I keep track I know... It'll be 3 days before AF if I decide against it that day I wont be testing till AF... The reason I am terrified is obviously that I dont want to get another negative but also because i feel like I "curse" myself by testing early... I also decided that once I get my positive I'm immediately calling my doctor because i want to try my best to keep this (possible) baby... Those who know me knows that I am super against getting blood tests to confirm pregnancy just because of the fact that it was low from day 1 with pregnancy no 1 but I feel like I want to do my best to give our baby a chance...
7 months ago • Post starter
Hi guys, I know I havent been to active lately but I have gone through all the Feels and back. I am not letting myself get excited this cycle, yes I hope and pray and wish it works this month but I am angry. Angry that all the last cycles i have had cramps and pinching and pulling and all kinds of "symptoms" and theres nothing to show for it. I think I am 6dpo and if I even feel anything I saw stop - Stop is there isnt a reason for it stop!
I am tired.
7 months ago
I want to say thank you ladies for all your lovely words, I’m in quite a bit of pain but at least the bleeding isnt bad, I had the blood test but not sure if I want to hear the results tomorrow, I’ve been in complete bits since yesterday, I never expected this and never been through it before, I feel a fool for being so upset because I was early on but I also feel justified after trying for 13 months and this being our first positive in that time, thank you all for listening xx
7 months ago • Edited
@itsAna - Omg I feel you so hard on this. I had a MC in June and now that I THINK I'm pregnant, I'm in complete denial. I'm still lightly spotting. My brain tells me it's IB, but until I start feeling symptoms other than the current feeling of my boobs feeling bigger and slowly gaining a higher sense of smell, I don't believe it. I tested last night at 11dpo and got a , so I'm afraid of it turning into a chemical pregnancy, so I don't want to say anything to the husband until I KNOW for sure. I guess I'll wait until I officially miss AF. Wishing you the best of luck and pray you get your !
7 months ago
@emma absolutely do not feel foolish grieving over a early loss pregnancy. So many of us immediately begin dreaming of our little one and planning as soon as we see two pink lines. We had an early miscarriage in November and it took me a few months to be "okay." I'm beginning to get back to normal physically now finally too.
7 months ago
@emma: never believe you are being foolish for grieving a loss no matter the length you carried.... I miscarried my first at 19 weeks and my second at almost 5 weeks, and both are heartbreaking, both leave you feeling helpless and hopeless or like a failure. I almost wanted to give up.... but I'm so glad I didn't... healing thoughts for you
@Dee: understandable... I'm terrible at reading too much into everything my body does... and also for testing early, which is just more torture.. just can't seem to help myself.
@Anna: I always called my doctor after every time I got a positive test... because when those hormone levels do rise as they should, it is just such a huge stress relieving weight off my chest! I've always testing early with all my pregnancies (except my very first that I lost, which was before I obsessed over ttc) and it didn't always "curse" me. Although it doesn't really help much because my doctor won't do testing until the day AF is due or late... but I tested daily to see if the line got darker until I could get in to see him. So early testing is pointless and stressful either way, so I need to try to find some self control and wait until it is closer to AF time.
7 months ago
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