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KressLove-Your so right and I really do appreciate the honesty! I'd rather you ladies be honest and keep it real with me than to ne nice and not too, you know. Every point you have made is definitely a valid one, but I guess I just want my little miracle so bad that I'm willing to do whatever I need to do, so that I may get my miracle you know. I think him and I are in two different places now and I know that I want things by a certain time. He keeps telling me we're young, I am 25 now, 26 on the 22nd, but it's what I want you know, and giving that he has his child already with this crazy chick he doesn't understand how I feel. I guess it's why I want my baby so bad. :-(((

I hate when AF just continues to play games until she shows up in full force. I hope she stops playing with you so that you can get it over with and back to the bd'ing part. I've decided to not use any opks, not temp, or pay attention to anything. I'm definitely falling all the way back. I'm so tired of seeing AF and getting so excited and then BAM, AF.

Sophe28-You and me are in the same boat. I want my baby so bad I'm still having dreams that I'm pregnant. I had one the other day that I was. All I kept seeing was pregnancy tests, so I woke up and thought that was a bit odd. But I knew I wasn't because AF had just left me alone. How are things coming though?

Ludicity & Twwtoolong- How are things coming?

@KressLove - I can not even imagine how frustrated you must be! My fingers are crossed that you get your bfp tomorrow, or at least AF will show up for sure, so you can be out of limbo again!

@HopefullyAMommy - I totally agree with the points KressLove made. If you aren't on the same page, then trying to progress forward without his support may be even harder on you. I think it's a really good thing that you know what you want. I can't say that I was so clear my feelings on wanting to start a family when I was your age. At times, I wish I had been, maybe it wouldn't be as hard as it's been now! I might be rehashing this, but have you actually told DH what you want/need from him, specifically? I know in the past with my spouse it was useless to say things like "I don't feel like you are being supportive". It's been far more effective to specifically ask for what it is I need or am looking for, so I will say things like "What I really need right now is for you to hug me because I am really dissappointed that AF showed up." or "You could really support me by coming to the doctors and start the process of getting checked out". What ever it is you want, be specific and action oriented. Otherwise, they sometimes just really don't know what to do to show you support or what support looks like to you. I really hope you start getting the support you want and deserve!

As for me - I just got back from the Dr.'s with my blood test and US results. The blood test came back all clear - which is great - however, the ultrasound, not so much. :(

They think I might have cervical polyps or a cyst and I have to go back for another ultrasound to clarify. I, of course, immediately got on the internet to see what could have possibly caused this, and it's not super clear as to why I would have them but could be related to estrogen levels, so pregnant women get them (so possibly from a previous miscarriage?) and older women are prone as well (40-50yrs, so I am a little young for that).

Thankfully, most of the time these sorts of things are benign. But they could be blocking part of the opening of my cervix, which would totally explain why I haven't been able to get pregnant yet. The doctor said that the note from the sonographer sounded positive and that it's really just a double check, but still not what I wanted to hear. I have a follow-up ultrasound on Dec 16th. If they do find anything, it's likely I'll have to have surgery to remove them, but hopefully that will do the trick and resolve our problems.

Needless to say, I am not even going to bother to really try this month. Might as well enjoy the holidays and get back to it once we know for sure what is going on with me.

Good luck ladies!

twwtoolong-Oh no! I hope when you go back that it's nothing but positive news. Let's still hope that it's nothing they find, but if you do have the sugery then let's hope within a couple of months that you will have your little miracle. I really do hope that this does the trick for you. Are you feeling ok though?

As for me, I know it will probebly be harder on me, but it what I want you know. I have my life kind of mapped out and I know life doesn't always goes to how you plan it, but I have an idea of how I would like it, and I'm sticking to what I want. I have tried it saying what I wanted to him, but I'll definitely give your suggestion a try. I just know that if it doesn't work I'm giving up, and maybe going to take a few steps back for a while.

@HopefullyAMommy- Thank you for the support- I really don't know how to feel about it. In a weird way, part of me actually wants there to be something there, that is easy enough to resolve and would explain why we haven't concieved. Obviously, there is a big part of me that hopes all is clear, but then we are left wondering what the problem actually is and then we woud need to start down the path of fertility specialists. So I don't really know how to feel about it all.

DH is still at work, so I'll talk to him about it when he gets home and see what he thinks about it all.

I feel like it's common knowledge that it's hard to be a parent and even be pregnant, but no one really talks about how hard it is to be trying to concieve and it not going well. *sigh*

I think it might be time for a glass of wine....

@HopefullyAMommy

I'm so glad to hear you back on here. I hadn't realised exactly how serious things had been with the asthma for you and Im glad to hear that you are doing better. Take it easy with the stress - Im no doctor but it'll no doubt help on many fronts including with your own body as well as maybe give you some 'calm space' where you can plan out what you want to do taking the full situation and possible consequences into account. As kresslove has said this is a big thing to do if you go ahead with the iui without DH 100% with you on it. As well as those appointments and follow-up visits and the emotional roller coaster that will no doubt entail, you will have to face the longer term possibilities of a family where the father is not fully committed to family life where the divide may stem from moving forward without DH 100% with you. Its hard to dress up words with the emotion that should come with them but I sincerely hope I do not come across as blunt and without feeling.

As twwlong says, you have to be direct with your other half. Say what your fears are - that him having a child may be influencing his attitude (if that is what you decide is pertinent to say) - but be fair and don't say things that you will regret {underline x2}. It can infuriate me when I have to 'spell it out' to my man because I feel like he should have known this/it's so obvious/don't you know me/etc but in the end when I get onto the same page as him by giving him the abc's where all is plus and minus, no divide and multiply (ie simple, all caps) it can curb immediate frustration on top of the correct action being taken on his part. You may have to do this again and again (I know I do, because maybe this time the same issue involved a triangle and not a square making it in his eyes a different problem while in mine the same problem with a different shape. Silly example but I'm hoping you catch my drift). My relationship is the hardest thing I have ever worked at and no matter how many years we have behind us, the (bilateral) communication factor has always come out as an essential ingredient. I say this openly as we all appear to have our relationships and from what I see out there (as well as in here) none are without need for these types of clarifications.

@Twwolong

Im so sorry to hear about the US results but, like you, I think that finding out there had been an issue and that it can be resolved through surgery is in fact a positive thing. I have a few friends who have had a similar diagnosis and once operated conceived shortly afterwards, on both occasions they had two children with a short gap between so it appears that the op's benefits were there for some time (and I guess may still be there - who knows).

@kresslove

Damn that period eh :) I'm feelin ya gal. If I have sex around AF time it seems to make it appear as if by magic. Maybe give that a go? I've been waiting for four days now to 'start' so that I can also move on with the next cycle. We aren't in the headspace to have sex right now otherwise I should follow my own advice! I got mine today... I think.

I have been spotting for four days now and this is my first real period since my mc last month. I thought that AF would look like what I have always had as AF but this is quite different. Started painless with lightbrown spotting 4 days ago, only started cramping today with a little bit more discharge, clots, and some dark red blood. But only enough for a pantyliner. I know that we did have sex but I can't say it was timed to be a bd. I've read that after an mc females are more 'fertile' whatever that means (more eggs released? pH of cm more accommodating? sperm sucked up more quickly? lining more receptive?). I wonder if I am having a chemical pregnancy as this reminds me of my previous mc. If so that's two lost pregnancies back to back in two months (however, I did test a few days ago and got bfn so either hcg had gone down to below threshold for the test or I need to get grounded). Plus a third mc from a few months earlier. My GP says that there is no need to worry but I beg to differ (wtf).

Its nice having you guys to talk. xx

@ lucidity
Thank you for your message. It actually made me feel a lot better about the situation. I don't know anyone who has had this diagnosis, so I had no idea how much of a delay this might cause us. Having a chance to sleep on it, I really do hope this is our issue and that once it's resolved, it'll be baby time! Fingers crossed at least!

I have totally heard that you are more "fertile" after a miscarriage, but I really thing you might want to get a second opinion on whether everything is ok. I am no expert, but that is a lot of losses in a very short period of time. Even if it's just to settle your own head, it might be worth either asking for more from your own doctor, or seeking a totally independent second opinion.

I am definitely hitting the breaks in terms of ttc this cycle with everything going on. So I am not going to do anything, no temping, no opk's, not even really tracking days or symptoms. I am just going to relax, see what happens with the US and then we can make a game plan for the new year. I'll still check in here to see how you ladies are doing, but I am not "in the game" this month!

Hi everyone. Sorry it's been a few days.

@Hopefullyamommy - sorry to hear about dh. But I think (most) men are not very vocal about things like this. Here is the extent that my dh and I have talked about having kids:

Me: You know I'm not on the pill anymore, right?
Him: Yeah.
Me: So, if I get pregnant, that's okay?
Him: Yeah.
Me: Cool.

And that was 8 months ago. Haven't talked about kids or TTC or anything like that since then. Part of me thinks we should talk about it more, but then the other part of me thinks "why? What's talking about it going to accomplish?".

@Twwtoolong - So sorry to hear about AF and the results from your doctor's visit. It sounds scary and I'm sure a polyp is not what you wanted to have, but hopefully it's giving you a bit of peace of mind that you're closer to finding out what's been preventing you from getting pregnant. The sooner you get it all figured out, the closer you'll be to your BFP! I think taking a break is a good idea. I took a break this cycle, but it only lasted the first 3 weeks. This past week I've been temping, etc. just because I'm curious if we were successful or not this cycle.

As for me - AF is due to arrive today or tomorrow. I've been spotting since Saturday and my temps are still high. I'm 95% sure it's my usual pre-AF spotting, but of course there's a tiny part of me that's hoping it's implantation bleeding. Haven't tested yet this cycle, but I might tomorrow evening if AF still hasn't shown. I'll keep you all updated.

Baby dust.

AF came on full force this morning.

I am going to take a break from all things TTC this month. I'll check back with you all the the beginning of the new year. I hope I read that all of you have your BFP's this month! Best of luck and take care.

Sophe

@Sophe28 - I am sorry to hear AF showed up. That sucks. I totally am with you on taking this month off! Have a great holidays, relax and enjoy!

HI ladies, I'm new to this forum and I am also ttc #1. I'll be 27 on Sunday and had a miscarriage last year. I am currently 16dpo and usually have a normal 28day cycle and AF is 3 days late. I tested yesterday and today and both were BFN, boobs ache to touch though no other real symptom besides uneasy stomach and smelly urine. (TMI sorry) anyone else go through anything simlar? I did have a bit of creamy cm a few days ago but nothing major... any suggestions?

Thank you and best of luck with baby dust to you all!!!