Community post

hi. i would really like to join this thread! all you ladies seem so nice and supportive.

i have been trying to concieve for 3 years. the first time i got pg my bff J got pg around the same time. i m/c nov 21 08 and she had her baby dec 27 08 ....talk about heart breaking. then i found out i was pg last month and m/c again and my ohter bff D is expecting me to throw her baby shower!!!

what upsets me the most though is that D knew i m/c and when i told her all she said was "i told you not to get your hopes up because of what happened last time" how insensitive!!!!! i wanted to punch her in the face ! sometimes i dont even see why we are friends.

i try so hard not to wish mean things on my friends or be negative (btw me and DH are the only couple out of ALL of our friends not to have a baby or be pg ) it just hurts im sure all you ladies understand that.....

sometimes i feel lke GOD is punishing me for having sex before marrige eventhough DH is the only man ive ever even kissed.

Nursejones- welcome to the group. What your friend said was super insensitive and I'm sorry you had to hear that.

Joy-

Carolyn- I couldn't agree more!

To everyone- I want to say thank you and I love you all. Your confessions make me realize what I feel is normal and that I'm not a horrible person for thinking/feeling the way I do sometimes.

I'm going to be a bridesmaid in a wedding in July and I ordered my dress a few sizes too big because I thought I'd be pregnant by now. The bridesmaid I'll be standing right next to will be over 8 months at that point and I'm afraid I will be feeling sorry for myself instead of focusing on my best friend's wedding and I feel like crap for thinking that.

Nursejones - Welcome! As much as we love to try and think positive it is SO nice to have a place to vent our frustrations!
I am so sorry to hear about your mc's... I have only had one and am terrified about having another when I finally get my bfp!! That was horribly insensitive what your friend said!! I think I might have slapped her! I am in the same boat with most of my friends either having kids of being preggo.. I hate it!

Aisha - You are the single sweetest person I have ever met! The post you left on FB made me smile! Really you have no idea what that did to me day! You're the best!! Thanks hun!

Well... I am off to check my other thread, then heading to the hospital to meet the baby.... Still not sure how I feel about it, so if I am bawling incoherantly on here in a few hours I apologize!!

Forgot something...

Aisha - I am so sorry to hear about your dress... I did stuff like that assuming I woul able to get pg fairly quick and it's like a slap in the face. And then to have to deal with an 8 month pregnant bridesmaid beside you...

Thanks pooker and expecting for welcoming me!

pooker-im sorry about your bridesmaid dress and the pg lady you have to stand next to...it seems like everytime i try to plan ahead i get knocked back on my butt too like last month when i was buying my friend a shower gift and i kept an outfit for our baby to be and m/c a few days later.

expecting-yea i know what you mean i want a baby so bad (of course im absolutly positive we all do or we wouldnt be on this forum) but sometimes im so scared of m/c that i dont even wanna try. and i would have slapped my friend but she is 6 months pg. then after she said that about getting my hopes up she told me that i needed to quit trying so hard and it would happen...i absolutly hate it when people tell us that.

*i am currently on cd 14 and i took 50mg of soy isoflavones cd 1-5 it is supposed to work like clomid so im praying to at least ovulate (i have pcos and all my tests keep coming back normal so the doctor doesnt know what is the cause)

Hi my dears!

nursejones - Good luck sweetie I hope you O! I know what you mean about everyone telling you to stop tying and it will happen. My mother says that all the time. Every time I buy opks or hpt's, she says "stop obsessing, just relax and it will happen" Bull shit!! The odds are slim enough of getting pg each month when you know when your ovulating and when to bd etc... so how would it IMPROVE me odds to stop??? So irritating!

Well the hospital visit wasnt as hard as I worried it would be. My friend bitched quite a bit and did a lot of the "this is what you have to look for if you ever get pg" crap... but I tried to ignore it and just focused on the cutie pie in my arms.

Joy- Why do pregnant women complain or after they have the baby!!!! Isn't that what they wanted? I just don't get that and it makes me so mad.

My mom was also getting on me about trying to hard. She finally backed down and started supporting my efforts when she realized I don't ovulate on my own so "not trying" will get me absolutely no where.

Another friend of mine just got a bfp... I'm super happy for her because she has struggled like us and had fertility treatments and whatnot... but I wish it were me instead and I feel like sh** for thinking that. I feel like a bad person

New confession- I get really frustrated when I find out women who are older than me get pregnant without even trying and I'm struggling during during my peak fertility years! At my age I should have a 25% chance of getting pg each month instead of a 20% and yet I still can't get my bfp. Makes me so frustrated!!!

Aisha - Your are not a bad person! In fact you are probably one of the nicest people EVER!

I absolutely hate when pregnany women or new mommies bitch about their situation... especially with my friend(s) cause they KNOW dh and I have been ttc since the m/c (They didnt know about prior to the m/c, and they wouldnt know now if I had had my way... dh and his big mounth ) But really I mean they KNOW that I m/c'd in September and that we want to have a baby SO badly, and yet they still make comments. I hope she is less complain-y now that the baby has arrived! Like I said, I get that being pregnant and having a baby are difficult/uncomfortable or whatever, and if you want to complain thats fine, but NOT TO ME!! Grrrr!!

..Anywho....

& I totally agree about the age thing... when women older than me just seem to look at their dh's and oops, their preggo again! Yet I am still in my 20s and SHOULD have a higher chance of conceiving! & they should have even less of a chance cause they arent even actually trying sometime they are even prevening pregnancy and yet we're timing everything and bding as much as possible etc and they wind up with a bfp an we're left with af. So infuriating!

i agree with both of you ladies on the pregnant complainers and the older women....what makes me even madder though is that DH and I just found out his 15 yr old cousin (yes i said 15!!!!) is pregnant with her SECOND kid and her first one isnt even 5 months old. i swear i just wanna cry my eyes out. i hate to say this and i know it sounds really mean but i think it is pathetic and the only reason she did it was to get her boyfriend (her baby daddy) back. then i caught her this past weekend making out with a completly different guy and trying to bum cigarets off someone!!!!!!

i just dont understand sometimes. i have went to extremes to get pg....like stopped eating fish because mercury, started taking prenatals, no drinking, i dont even go around smoke, i do yoga, temping, testing, ect...but poof someone who is just a child and parties like a mad woman gets knocked up on a whim....not fair.

Uggggg!!!! Joy and nursejones, both situations are so annoying!!!! Some people just don't appreciate how blessed they are, and other people don't seem to deserve the blessing they have! WTF!!!!! Why aren't we pregnant yet!!!!!!!

Maybe if I become a crackwhore I will get pregnant easier!!!!

P.S. Joy, thanks for the support It gets so hard to not get down on myself sometimes, either feeling like a failure as a woman or a crappy person for being angry/sad/jealous of others. TTC is not good for my mental health!!!