Community post

Thinking of you all today and praying that this day passes quickly and easily for you all

aroma, do you have hydrosalpinx in both tubes??
or just one?

Aroma-I am so sorry . It does not help when people are always telling you to just relax and it will happen or to look into IVF and adoption. It is not an option for all of us, unfortunately. It hurts so badly when I have people tell me those things, so I know how you feel. A person who has never has fertility problems does not undertand the pain we go through, even our husbands. Some states require insurance companies to cover infertility treatments, including IVF. What state do you live in? I know here in Ohio, insurance companies are required to cover all infertility diagnostics and treatments, but not IUI and IVF, although a lot of insurance companies here do cover it. I am sure these are things you have already looked into, but I thought I would throw the info out there.

I survived mother's day. Of course, I do have ds, but secondary infertility is just as hard if not worse than primary infertilility because I know everything did work at one time and can't understand why I suddenly have this syndrome that is keeping me from being able to have a healthy baby again. I am still spending the majority of my time hiding in my room and ds and hubby have been letting me have my time to myself. Hubby took ds to the in-laws with him to visit his mom. He just told them that I was not feeling well and was in bed. He is right, I suppose. Physically, I feel fine, mentally, I am a trainwreck. I can't hide out like I would like to tomorrow, so I may as well suck it up while I can. Hubby has an appointment with the cardiologist to go over the stress test findings and treatment plan. I already know that the stress test finding showed no blockage, just a slightly weak heart. He is going to be told AGAIN to quit smoking and to eat better. I work in the afternoon too. Not looking forward to that, either. At least hubby's SA is on Tuesday. That will be another test out of the way. Hopefully, they find nothing wrong there.

On the topic of insurance and infertility, you know what really PISSES me off is the fact that most companies will cover elective sterility like vasectomies and tubal ligation but won't cover IVF. WTF? So they will cover for someone to CHOOSE to be sterile but won't help those of us who didn't choose to have fertility problems!!!! Hell, my insurance didn't even cover any of my testing or even my yeast infection medication for that matter! They didn't pay for my clomid either...

And you know WHY these insurance A**holes won't help women like us? Because they don't want anyone to have babies because then they would have to cover our pre and postnatal care, labor and delivery, and then have to cover our children.

I think we need to start a movement to make health coverage for fertility treatments mandatory. I'm going to add this to my list of things to accomplish before I die.

As always, I thought about you all and prayed for you all today. I pray this burden lifted from all of you.

in both tubes!!!! yes i survived today by trying to occupy my mind.so decided to go see fast 5 and well we are watching the move and this couple have their 2 kids there ages 2 and about 4 and they are expecting them to sit still and watchthe movie.. first of all what the hell are you doing bringing kids to a movie with guns and swearing and 2 they were so interested in watching the movie that the 2 yr old wandered away from them and did not even notice... on all days its mothers day and you guys are the worst parents on this earth and don't deserve children. oh and as i type this mash is on t.v. and ofcourse the episode is about a baby... i just want to curl up in a ball and really dissapear from this earth right now,i can't take this anymore..

Aisha - I COMPLETELY agree with you! It infuriates me that my insurance company won't cover ANY infertility treatments. They lump my desire to have a child in with tummy tucks and boob jobs. The infuriating part is that I know it isn't that they don't want to cover prenatal care. 1) My deductible for prenatal care is $1500, which is average total cost of prenatal care, and 2) they wouldn't cover my BC when I was on it either!

Coverage for infertility would only cost every member on an insurance plan an extra $2.00 per year! Yet very few health insurance companies will cover it. Resolve.com is an awesome resource if you want to get involved and become an advocate. They also have a helpline for infertile women to call when they just need to talk to someone.

Kristine - There are programs that you can apply to that give $10,000-$20,000 to women who otherwise couldn't afford IVF treatments. Resolve has all of that information on their website. I plan on looking into that myself if clomid fails. I want to give birth to my own child too. I am not opposed to adoption. I actually would love to adopt one child, but I want to have a child from my own body as well. You should call the people at resolve and see what information they can give you. It really is an awesome organization.

Aisha~My doctor is friends with my UAW local's president. He told me about how he and my president fought so hard in the 90's to get Anthem BC/BS of Michigan (even though we are in Ohio, obviously headquarters for GM is in Detroit) to cover bc. Anthem would not even cover it for medical neccessary reasons like endometriosis and PCOS at that time, but would cover the (then very new) ED drug, Viagra. he agreed that overall sexual health and wellbeing for BOTH partners was very important in all stages of life, but it was not right that BC was not covered for ANY reason. Because of my Local's president and my doctor (among other notable people) fighting, Ohio is one of the too few states that require insurance companies to not only cover birth control now, but also diagnostics and treatment for infertility. Insurance companies are a joke. Mine now only allows 5 doctor's visits per year per policy and this includes preventative treatment. Some people I work with have more than 5 people in their family! After 5, we have to pay out of pocket until our deductable is reached. One thing that is fortunate in my case is the fact that both my husband and I work there and we are allowed to carry our own policies since our premiums come out of our union dues. I am also lucky that both my family doctor and my OB/GYN bill multiple related visits as just one visit and only charge me a copay once. For as many times as I have seen my OB/GYN in the past couple weeks, this is certainly a lifesaver. He is also waiving my copays for me and only charged the copay the first of this series of visits. I am hoping we will be just as lucky with the infertility specialist that is doing the SA. Hopefully, that will be the only time we are even in that office!

Aroma~I know EXACTLY how you feel! It is so frustrating to me to see shitty people be blessed with children when we struggle! I know a girl with one child that is pregnant with twins now. She got pregnant the first time to trap her boyfriend at the time because she thought he was leaving her, which he did anyhow. She got pregnant with the twins on purpose to trap someone as well who was leaving her to go back to the mother of his children. She is aboout 5 months now and goes out to the bar every weekend. I could see still wanting your social time, but why not make "girls night" dinner and a chat someplace fun? I could even POSSIBLY see a pregnant woman going to a bar once or twice in her pregnancy for a special occassion like a birthday or bachelorette party, but every weekend? She doesn't take care of the one she has (her mom does) and I am sure her mother will be stuck with the twins as well. Ugh, I would love to kick her in the kneecap!

so atm i have found that a drink in hand along with a gravol are helping me get through each night,(thats when i think) i am hating technology right now as i cannot stop looking at the internet about hydrosalpinx. every website i go to tells the same dam story,thats ivf is the only way!!!!!! i cannot afford it and in b.c. canada where i live it is not covered nor does hubbys medical plan cover it.. why is it that a 17yr old can have a baby and go on welfare,but me who is somewhat stable in life and has been with hubby for 9 yrs can't get a shot at this. i don't understand it... if i'm busy i don't think about it but then wham i think about it and ohhhh that sick feeling comes back and i really hate that sick feeling. i feel like im floating in my life right now and don't know where i am supposed to be.nothing is making me happy and i cannot find anything that i enjoy at the moment.. why can't there be a turn off switch in my brain. i don't know if i can ever accept this or stop being angry or crying..HOW HOW HOW HOW. i just don't know. i really want to get a cat just so i have other things to concentrate on but hubby does not like this idea and if i leave he wil be stuck with the cat as alot of places here don't accept animals....what do i do???? i am crying all the time and treating dh like shit,i don't mean too but i can't help it. i hate him because he has kids and resnt him for the same fact. i know it isn't his fault but i can't help it..

I do not understand why he will not let you get a pet. Pets are VERY therapeutic. I know with all of my depression lately, my cats, ferrets and my son's bunny have all been such lifesavers. I start crying and the cats are immediately by my side to love on me and try to make me feel better. One lets me hold him like he is a teddy bear without fighting at all and just purrs so loud and squeaky, it makes me laugh when I am crying. I understand fully how you resent your husband right now. It does not seem he is being very supportive in all this, but think of it this way...men do not handle emotions nor do they process information in the same way we do. Women are very detail-oriented and emotional. Men are very single-faceted and do not seem to comprehend infinte words such as "never" and "forever." They also are NOT good with emotions. A lot of that is biology, but a lot is also society. Men are not "supposed" to be emotional. If they feel the slightest emotion coming on, they shut it out and turn themselves off so they do not have to deal with it. I do not think this is the time to make a hasty decision because you are in a compromised state of mind. Have you considered marriage counseling? If that is not an option, I would suggest coffee or a long dinner in a very public place. Do not tell him you want to talk about your feelings and thoughts, just get him there. Being in a public place, there is a less of a chance of anything escalating into an argument and less chance of (too many) tears being shed. Perhaps you two can come to a resolution that way.

As for me, I am pissed. I just called my doctor's office to see when my HSG will FINALLY be scheduled and I was told to expect a call later this week. I did not even have to give her my name because apparently, they are backed up on HSG's and she knew ExACTLY what to tell me, ugh! We were told to continue ttc naturally no matter what, but what good will it do if my HSG is not done THIS week??? Anything we do this month will likely be undone by the HSG whenever the hell they get to it. DH has his SA tomorrow morning. Hopefully, everything comes back good there, beause I don't think I can take another complication right now. They will have to add Xanax or Valium to my Serafem if I get more bad news!

so i looked at that website one of you mentioned, nice try but no dice i have blockage at the top where the little cilia hairs are,and with that its best to remove the tubes and do ivf,which once again i will tell you,is not something i can afford. it also only has a 20 percent chance of resulting in a pregnancy. its just not going to work.... thanks for trying though