Community post
Confessions of the Infertile Woman
Hi ladies. I know I'm not the only woman here who has fertility problems and sometimes feels very alone.
I'm only in my fourth month of ttc but I've been told by my doctor that due to a deformity of my uterus I may have some serious problems staying pregnant (if I'm ever blessed enough to even become pregnant). I will know more though after I get an mri tomorrow.
Anyway, sometimes thoughts pop into my head and then I feel guilty for thinking such negative things. I fear that if I confess these feelings to other people that they will judge me as a bad person or as insane as some of these things are irrational.
But I know I can't be the only one who experiences this.
So I thought I would create a thread where we can confess our frustrations and negative thoughts that we have regarding our fertility problems. I want this to be a place where we can freely express our emotions without anyone judging, just supporting.
Basically, I want a group therapy page!
So let me start off by giving some of my own confessions:
~When I see pictures of my friends' pregnant bellies, I feel jealous and angry
~I know I'm supposed to believe that God is testing me, but sometimes I feel like he is punishing me
~I get angry when I see people that don't take good care of themselves (much less their children) having babies when I can't.
~I judge other mothers as being less deserving
~I have constant nightmares about having miscarriage after miscarriage which cause me to wake up sweat drenched
~I feel like a failure as a woman
~I fear my husband may one day resent me if I can't give him children
~I fear this is somehow all my fault
~I hate myself for not being able to really be happy for my friends who have been blessed with children
~Sometimes the only way I can cheer myself up is by thinking "Well at least I won't lose my sexy body as quickly as my friends."
So many dark thoughts cross my mind sometimes and I was always a very happy, positive person before.
What dark thoughts do you have that you feel you can't share with anyone else?
288 Replies • 13 years ago
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Use this calculator to help you decide when to take your first home pregnancy test.
Replies
Last night boyfriend had a dream i took a test and it was positive!! ( I wish ) and two days ago I did too!! Hopefully a good premonition... But last night I took a test at 11 dpo and it was negative, but no hope lost till AF shows her ugly face.... so i'm still holding out... =)) Congrats on all the good news i've been reading on here!! So happy for you!
13 years ago
Aroma- I've had 2 HSG's. The first one was fairly painful, the second one I barely felt.
With the first one I had to pant through the dye going in, and the cramps felt like extreme menstral cramps. The pain was gone as soon as the test was done, with only minor cramps the rest of the day.
The second one, I took 2 naproxen about an hour before hand, and had very light, barely there cramps during and almost none afterwards.
Be prepared to bleed like AF afterwards, so being so close to the end of your cycle, it will probably lead you straight into it.
Also, make sure they do a pg test first. They usually to HSG's after AF, before ovulation.
HTH
ETA: after IF tests, treatments and hopefully successful baby deliveries, your cooch will have no dignity left at all. I can't even count the number of Drs, nurses and interns who've seen mine. ;)
for the second time while waiting for a treatment cycle to begin. 13 years ago
Here we go again...
ya im on cd2 they said no prep just don't have unprotected sex until after the procedure. it will be cd 9 right around o time so maybe dye=conception,not hopeful as its my progesterone levels are low but at least as soon as the f.s. gets the results we will get together and try to solve some issues.. im fearful of my whole utuerus and tubes being blocked but i don't want to assume anything..
13 years ago
hi ladies...
i dont normally do this but for those of you who pray please keep us in your prayers. we live down here in the south where those tonadoes came threw and our county was hit...its horrible down here and it just breaks my heart some of DHs family and our friends were killed. so please keep up in your thoughts and prayers!
love you guys and GL and baby dust to yall!
Shea
Soy Cycle1- 
Soy Cycle2- 
"For nothing is impossible with God" Luke 1:37
13 years ago
Joy- As always, we are here for you.
Shea- Yes, I will pray for you, your families, and friends. I'm so sorry for your losses. My father and his family are in Alabama and because our relationship is estranged I don't even know how they are... but despite being estranged I still care 
13 years ago • Post starter
Shea- Oh my goodness I'm so sorry! I will be thinking about you and your family through this difficult time.
Aroma - Good luck today! I had a friend who got that done a couple on months ago. She said it was pretty uncomfortable but totally worth it to get the information she needed to move forward with her fertility treatments. Best of luck to you!!!
Expecting - Sorry 
showed up! I hate her!
Joanie - Hope those dreams end in reality! What a great story to tell your (soon to be) little one! 
AFM - Still pretty crampy after my cysts ruptured on Tuesday. The bleeding has slowed down but I am feeling REALLY defeated today as we have been trying for a year and been through so much yet do not have the one thing we want most.....
13 years ago
Early pregnancy symptoms by day past ovulation
What signs and symptoms are most common on each day past ovulation?
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