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Rachel - I also have PCOS. I am on 2000 mg of metformin and I took 50 mg of Clomid days 5-9 last month. Then I did an IUI. It didn't work but my NP said that my body reacted really well to the clomid (prob because of the metformin). Good luck to you! I am here if you need to vent. I have been through what you are going through now. I was dx with PCOS in 2001.

AFM, nothing new. I am not thinking about anything. I know I won't be Pg this cycle so I am not stressing about symptoms. And I will most likely have to go back on BC pill next month due to the cyst on my left ovary. so, I am trying to just chill out.

I got some bitter sweet news today. My sil (who wasn't even TTC but is PG) is having a girl. They found out today. I have always wanted a little niece (I have 4 nephews) but it still stinging me that it isn't me... I find myself resenting my SIL. Am I a bad person??

Bens10 - you are not a bad person at all. When I found out that my SIL was pg again I was so sad, but when I found out she was having a boy I cries for two days straight. I really wanted to have the first grandson in my family. I think feeling things like that are only natural given what we are going through.
I was just diagnosed with PCOS three months ago, I always had very normal cycles before i went on BC so I figured that I couldn't have PCOS. My doctor told me that the metformin would make losing weight possible for me. I have been on a strict diet and exercise routine and I gained four pounds. She thinks that is because of the PCOS.
At least I have some hope now that I have the clomid. Hope is something that I haven't felt in months. It is nice not to feel constantly defeated, even if only for a little bit.

On a side note. My grandmother said the most hilarious thing to me the other day that I figured you ladies would get a kick out of. I was telling her about all I have been going through TTC. She then told me about her brother (who is homosexual) and the problems that he had when he was married (obviously before he came out of the closet). His wife had 5 miscarriages before she has their son. Well, my grandmother said that she thinks going through that was part of what "made him the way he is." it took all of my self control not to die laughing. I was always under the impression the the love of having sex with men was what made a man gay, but whatever. I though it was so funny. I told my husband that I was sorry but he might start liking dudes if I had a bunch of miscarriages. I was being sarcastic of course. That said, my grandmother is a wonderful woman and has told me that she wants to pay for my first IUI if the clomid alone doesn't work.

I know this thread is long but I just joined the site and really wanted to add something to this topic because I feel so much pain from not conceiving so easy...

Not growing up with a mother was hard.. she died when I was 11 and she had breast cancer, so when I think of motherhood, I wanna have that relationship with a child of mine. Also I am truly blessed to have have some great mom like figures around that support me and inspire me in life..

Now for my negtive thoughts ,

~When I see pictures of my friends' pregnant bellies, I feel jealous and angry

~I know I'm supposed to believe that God is testing me, but sometimes I feel like he is punishing me

~I get angry when I see people that don't take good care of themselves (much less their children) having babies when I can't.

~I judge other mothers as being less deserving

~I feel like a failure as a woman

~I fear my husband may one day resent me if I can't give him children

~I fear this is somehow all my fault

~I hate myself for not being able to really be happy for my friends who have been blessed with children

~Sometimes the only way I can cheer myself up is by thinking "Well at least I won't lose my sexy body as quickly as my friends."

all of theses I do feel.. and to top it off I work at a shelter for abused/neglected children. I love my job because I am helping children but the things I have seen have made me so sad. At the shelter currently we have a 4 month old infant girl who we have had since she was 4 days old. This baby is loved by all of the staff, but it breaks my heart that her mother was doing drugs while pregnant with her and the baby had been addicted to them for awhile after birth, we had to watch her go through withdrawal.
It is hard to hold this little girl who is smiling up at me and not ask.. how could this mother leave this little girl? Why couldn't she have been born to me? I would take the best care of her, I who have been trying and wanting for so long may have more time to wait.
It's just a lot to deal with at times, and I hope by letting this off my chest that I can be less negative. Thank you for starting this thread.

Thanks for posting the SA results Kitten...here's my take based on what I know...

His total count is excellent at 84 million, so definitely count that in the good side of things.

Of that 84 million, only 11% are alive (vitality and viability -unsure of the difference in the terms)

I'm guessing that since 32% move (motility), they are in the 11% that are alive . (Forgive my sense of humor...it is meant in good faith.)

The 25% progressive motility means that those ones consistently moved forward over the hour, but only 6% (rapid) moved at the speed they should. Under 25% rapid is not good.

Of the total count, 4% are shaped normally (morphology), which is in the low category. They like to see above 15%.

My uneducated guess is that he has about 9,240,000 sperm that are alive, of which 554,400 move forward rapidly. Depending on the ratio of dead to alive morphology, he could have between 369,000 and 3,360,000 normal working sperm.

On average only a few hundred sperm ever make it to the egg anyway, so you guys definitely have a chance. I'd get him on some fertility vitamins for men ASAP. They did help my DH's counts. You may need to do IUI's too, but it's not always necessary. Our daughter was conceived naturally with less than 6% normal morph.

Don't forget, SA numbers change every single time, because the sperm is constantly regenerating. It takes between 72 and 90 days for them to mature. His next SA may be much better, depending on what happened about 3 months before the SA.

Like I said, this is all my uneducated opinion on SA's, but I hope it helped some.

thanks so much for that , its nice to know we still have a chance ...we both started fertility vitamins yesterday..and have quit drinking completely , also before he did this test , bout a month before he was still smoking and drinking , so im hoping that was why the result wernt too good . we are back at the fs in july so gonna use the next few months to try and improve things.

babydust to you , and thanks again

Emma xxxx

Hi ladies,

Well DH doesn't half know how to make me worry and panic his words last night were "If your pregnant I will be the happiest man in the world" yeah ok I see the lovingness of it but on the other hand in my head I'm going "and if I can't have kids you'll leave me for a woman who can" I think that I am purely ill this month I woke up with stuffy nose, been sneezing, major headache and a little back ache, feel out and completely down and bff has said she going for u/s tomorrow and can I join her as her OH is working, ARGGHHHH why does god want me to suffer soo much?!

Hi ladies. Always, welcome to those who are new to this thread. This is a perfect place to get your frustrations out. I've found that I can leave them here and I feel better throughout my day.

to those who are struggling which I guess is everyone or you wouldn't be on this thread- now forgive my morbid sense of humour

I have news that I feel may upset you, but I feel I have to be honest. With that said, as creator of this thread and someone who understands how all of you feel, I want to say that I want you all to feel comfortable bitching me out and directing frustration at me directly on here. I am willing to take heed for you (just please don't wish me to lose it)

Sooo if you haven't figured out by now, I think I'm pregnant. I'm not officially announcing it as a bfp because it's still early and the lines are faint (10 dpo).

I hope this will give you all hope for yourselves. God does work miracles. If I am pregnant, I got this way thinking I wouldn't ovulate this month (I Oed on CD34) and frustrated that I couldn't use clomid. I only twice around O time and actually 3 and 2 nights before I actually Oed. I was traveling and I didn't have my preseed with me, I didn't use my softcups, and I even got up and went to the bathroom after. So if this is true, it is a miracle.

I ask you please that no one congratulate me on this thread just out of obligation. I've done that many times during my struggles and I know how much it hurts.

I really pray this gives you all hope, but feel free to express negative feelings towards me if it's what you feel. I won't take it personally and I wouldn't mind being a punching bag for you ladies.

I pray for you all each day and I hope those of you who pray will pray for me as well.

Aisha

Aisha, I'm going to shout from the rooftops for you honey!!

You've had the heartbreak, you deserve the happiness too.

Good Luck, I hope this is one sticky baby and a very happy and healthy nine months!

so pooker i will not congratulate you yet... and the reason why, is that i have seen too many women on this site get their and announce to everyone how happy they are, only to have it turn into a chemical pregnancy or a miscarriage and then they feel stupid,ashamed guilty,sad angry and all the other feelings that go along with it.. i am keeping my for you that in 3 months i can breathe a sigh of relief and then congratulate you... there is nothing worse than being so so happy about being pregnant then to have it taken away, so my dear i will wait with bated breath until then to hear some newsbut do keep us posted.. i am aslo not mad at you at all as i have never met you and that makes it easier,and the fact that you have been trying as hard as all of us have here. no worries my dear you are still and always will be loved on this forum

im back from the hsg, not good at all guys.. i saw it and it looks like i am blocked completly on 1 side and bout 60% blocked on the other..... hardly any dye showed up at all on the monitor and she didn't say it was clear,so i know thats not good.. I guess im just not meant to be a mom,how devastating is that huh girls. i don't know what else to say kristine