Community post

Hi ladies. I am devastated. Started to spot late last night with a BFN this morning. IUI was a bust. I seriously cannot explain the pain i am feeling. I feel so angry with God and I just want this journey to be over with. Up until now, I have truly been thankful for this struggle and DH and I are so much closer. I am done with this journey. I just want it to be our turn. My spotting last night was bright red, almost a gush of blood. Today it's all internal and is pretty light, but this is just what my body does before AF so I know she will be here.

Walking into work this morning was by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I sat in my car and bawled for thirty minutes. I ended up talking with my boss and telling her everything. She is so very supporting which i am grateful for. I told her i was nervous telling her because of my job. She said not to worry about my job.

So today I am just going to be sad. I am trying to find something positive with this, but i am just not seeing it today. I hate feeling so negative and upset with God, but I am. I am so mad at him.

@LSchrader- I know nothing I say will take away your pain, and I completely understand your frustration. I'm so sorry this journey has been so long and difficult for you (and @Miracle). It breaks my heart that you two (and your partners) have had to go through this emotional roller coaster. Your time WILL come, though. There is no reason why it won't ever happen. I know that waiting sucks and not knowing when it'll happen sucks, but you're two healthy people; you and your hubs will have your baby and it'll be completely worth the tears and wait. Again, I'm so so so sorry. Know that we're all here to support and love you. I pray you find some comfort and peace.

Lschrader. .oh, honey, I'm so very sorry! What an emotional roller coaster TTC is. Please know you are not alone. And don't feel bad for being mad at God. Sweetie, He knows your heart and understands your pain. Trust me, I've been mad at Him plenty when my babies died. I dont know why some of us have to walk this path. It's hard. Sending you my love, hugs, prayers, and support. Take time to grieve, but dont give up!

Thank you ladies. I know you are all here for me, and i so appreciate that. I am just letting myself sulk today and feel sad. I cried so much earlier that i don't think i can cry anymore. To top it off, i feel like i am getting sick. I have a sore throat, but that might be from crying, who knows.

@Lschrader ~ My heart sank with sadness as I read your recent post. I am crying with you and for you! I am deeply sorry for the pain, frustration, sadness, confusion and major disappointment you must be feeling. I wish I had the answers as "WHY". I wish you lived closer, because I would hug you and not let go until you needed to. I pray you get through today at work the best you know how to. Your ttc friends are sending you love and comfort. I totally understand being ANGRY WITH GOD part. It's not F'ing fair. We are all here for you. :(

AFM ~ I was too upset this morning to go in for my breast procedure. I have to reschedule. Massive drama going on in my world.

Oh LSchrader I'm sorry honey. You cry, vent, do what you need to do so you can hold hold your head up and carry on when your ready. It's seems so unfair when you want and need so much but it will come, we don't know when but when it will. I'm glad it's brought you and your DH closer, im sure you both need eachother more than ever right now. Sending hugs your way.

Miracle. Sorry you had to reschedule your procedure, hope your troubles are settled soon. My cycle is usually ovulate around day 15 and luteal phase of 10 days so average 25 day cycle but I'm taking b6 again, temping and ov strips so as to get a clearer idea this time round.

Rebecca hope your ok now after your scare. Your pics are adorable of the kids.

Football we have been to Egypt 3 years ago and cruised the nile, visiting luxor temples, valley of the Kings, philae and aswan. It was spectacular, so good we want to go again! When we went they had tanks rolling on the streets and we had to be chaperoned but I don't know what it's like now.

Miracle I'm so glad you got good results with your scare. I'm sorry you're having drama right now. I hope it clears up soon.

Rebecca I hope you are doing better now.

Football how are you doing?

Lschrader my heart hurts for you. I really want you to get your bfp soon. I went through a lot of anger and tears when ttc, so much so dh has said he may not want to have another and to just adopt next time. It is a hard road, but I promise you it is so worth it in the end. Don't give up hope. Our timeline isn't always in line with God's.

Bean how are you doing? Egypt sounds amazing. My husband wants to take me to Spain sooo bad because he's been twice. The second time was for a month for study abroad when he was getting his degree. He is a Spanish teacher so our vacations have been based around Spanish speaking countries. We went to Mexico twice and the Dominican Republic and then of course Puerto Rico over the summer. I think having Eli will put a damper on travel plans for a while

Afm people have been so disappointed, they ask how being sleep deprived I with a grin because that's what they went through. Well much to their dislike Eli sleeps through the night and I have to wake him for feeding, and we have it scheduled so he only has to wake up once between bedtime and dh's alarm. He is such a good baby. And I have to say, my relationship with dh has never been better. This 6 week wait to dtd is killing us. It is still really weird to me that my due date is Friday and my baby will be 3 weeks old.

Hello ladies :) hi I'm at 9dpo but soon at 10 dpo....I've been feeling uti or feels like symptoms....since Sunday : /.... Can anyone help me out? Am I pregnant? Or can that be a pregnancy symptom?

Hi Athena, im great. So glad Eli is sleeping well and has established a routine. I bet the 6 weeks are going to drag for you, Is that so your body can go back to normal and you don't catch pregnant again so soon?

Oh I hope you get to go away again soon but yeah with Eli you'll be at home besotted with him for a while. your DH is a Spanish teacher,nice, you speak Spanish too?

Welcome to our new ladies and sorry to anyone I missed yesterday.

Bean no I don't speak Spanish he's supposed to teach me but it hasn't happened yet lol. You have to wait 6 weeks because your at a high risk for infection in your uterus with your cervix opened. I had a 2nd degree tear so I had to be stitched up also. My appt is the 24th so only 3.5 weeks now.