Community post

AFM ~ This is an official AMBER ALERT for TOPO... YEP! Sirens are starting up right now and signs are being posted on the freeway as we speak. You have 24 hrs to respond or your face is going out on twitter and every milk carton.. lol! WHERE ARE YOU?

lol ladies i had a awful week i slept depressed and did some things im not proud of and ashamed of one nasty habbit i picked up cuz i got the fuck its was smoking drinking and abused my xanax my luck ill get a bfp after doing all this me n dh got in a huge fight i got in a fight wit the whole fam and told them all what has been building inside me for these past yrs i been tcc including friends everyone who came accross me since the 3rd got it went to my preop appt didnt go good the third doc is giving me 2 more tries of iui which i cnt afford then will recommend ivf because he cnt explain why iui is not working or natual if all was well during surgery i cnt afford it i ask fam for help they said i dnt need another baby i blew it dh i took opk it was post he couldnt nut acted like ohh well i blew i could here tania voice march or april the number 4 which i was ov the 3rd n 4th n he couldnt nut i blew i figured that was my chance cuz of my reading i felt like a failure i had a tantrum i said im a fighter i always get what i want n whats so simple for someone is so hard for me what i want most inlife i cnt get well a whole bottle of xanax n5 packs of ciggs im back i missed u ladies so much low key i been reading cheerinmg u guys on im emotionally drained and feel spirual robbed feeling better but not my whole self yet lonley as ever cuz i shut eveeryone out my life n get this they all went on wit there holiday like fuck what im going through plz pray for me ladies as i do u love u all @miricalmomma n @piecesgirl sorry if i worried u guys n sorry i let u down

@ pices- don't worry- bob marly- is my hubby's ring tone lol!
@ jsx- sounds like a girl heart beat!
@mirical- no signs can be a great sign!
I'm having fun but can't wait to just be home to.

@topo
Im soo sorry to hear that, hang in there I know sometimes things are dificult but remember god gives us things when he wants not when we want and I know its hard but you can do it.

I will pray for you but try to get put of this slump

Topo I'm so sorry girlfriend I hope you pull out of this nasty slump your in, those Xanax are nasty lil things and can cause problems I was on Valium I didn't like the way I felt I just slept but right there with nasty habit of pain killers from my accident two yrs ago been doing good but time you time things get bad and I understand! I've been there I know things will get better soon for you!!! As my tattoo says on mug wrist " when good things fall apart, better things come together! I live by that quote! I've been in a horribly dark place ESP after my mc last year and 30 lbs gained I almost lost my marriage I know what your going thru! Your a strong women and you can get thru this god will work his magic and you will get your BFP soon I have faith I know you will!! Feel better chick!!

@Topo ~ Hey there! I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time :( This ttc can be so stressful! Sometimes we can get so hyper focussed and obsessed on making our dreams happen when it's not up to us to do so. You have to pray for peace of mind and to have your faith and trust renewed. I bet if you put all this focus and energy that you have been doing with ttc right now and put it into nurturing yourself and inner happiness AND your marriage that you would experience more joy day in and day out. Then as hard as it is to hear this, you have to trust that GOD has plans for you, they may not be what you visioned but please have faith that GOD has your back and is always working things out for you for your highest good. We love you topo.. I hope you can find constructive healthy and positive ways to nurture yourself. I have been there too many times in my past with taking all my pain out on myself with destructive behaviors or bad habits.. it's a temporary fix and you and I both know that it's not the answer. I hope you get to a peaceful place so that your lil future baby can implant into a healthy and happy body.... if you can't do it for yourself.. then do it for your future baby.. I'm sorry if I seem like I'm giving out unwanted advice.. I'm just wanting you to have relief, hope, peace and faith my friend...

Im praying for you topo! God still loves you!

@miracle yessssssss you know my man is from St.Lucia so I am up on all the reggae, sokr, and even country...lol. I don't think everyone realizes how accurate your cards are. For those who do not know, her reading for me was right on nose in so many ways. I am going to get another one soon. Glad you are being creative! I

Not sure my post for @miracle from yesterday just posted a few minutes ago. ??? Huh?

@topo there you are are! And I knew you had been misbehaving but in the future please don't shy away from this group when you are at your worst, let us talk you off the ledge. As you can see that there are people who Do care, who DO feel that deserve a baby & we have all BEEN THERE ANS DONE THAT. Sweetheart, now do I have your name from Love Bug to Fire Bug?? Lol. I love absolutely loved @jsx's tatoo and she's right!!! And here is another one by Helen Keller "when one door closes, another door opens but we are often so focused on the door that is closed that we fail to see the open door". At 19 yrs old I lost my mother very suddenly, I was lost. I spent many many years being a very angry camper, weed, alcohol...running away from anyone who tried to love me. I was so pissed at life! I would look at people and say to God "why not her mother or his mom, they all hate their mother and my mom was AWESOME!" I couldn't understand why? My struggle made me who I am today. As far as pain, i have been to the threshold of hell and back. In comparison to that point in my life, every other punch thrown at me "hits like a bitch"...lol..My ex-husband tried to mentally beat me down and he could never understand why he couldn't defeat me...one night I told him "you can't, you CAN'T take me to hell cuz I've already been there and made it back". We have all been low in life, you have find a way to make it back from hell everytime. i know the way and so does everyone in this forum. I refuse to loose the war, I may loose a few battle but the war is mine for the taking and same goes for you. You just need a good strategy: prayer + friends to lift you up and faith=victory. **hugs**

@pieces

Girl I could have not said it better you are on point. We have alll been there I bought a pack of cigs this morning because it is very frustrating but as you said I will win this war.

I posted a pic of my opk this morning still nothing