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So, I had to try to dip one in water too just to see if that one had a squinter too. It didn't. However, I tested with another brand the other day and that one was stark white. Yesterday I started spotting. Pretty sure af is on her way.. Haven't gotten that sharp needle like pain just yet though, but sometimes I get that like an hour before it starts.

Still only very minor light brown spotting, which is odd for me. My light brown spotting quickly turns into dark brown heavy spotting the day before af shows up. But IF this may have been a chemical, which I'm not sure about, then that may be the reason why af hasn't shown up yet - my body may not have catched on yet. Or I didn't ovulate when I got my +OPK (which I always do). If af doesn't show up tomorrow I guess it's time to take a new test. Hardly think I'm pregnant though.

Af did show up and I'm now cd 4, currently waiting for af to disappear. Today I got my new lucky charms. These pendants are of Frey and Freya, the god and goddess of fertility. Or as they're called here - Frej and Freja. I figured it can't do any harm, you know. A cross or the likes aren't for me, since I'm not religious in that way. So this suits me better.

So, it was time again for some new blood work to check my thyroid levels. They've changed the reference levels for T4 and also TPO. My T4 are now considered low. The new reference are between 12-22 and my level's at 11. For the past 4 years my T4 have never been higher than 11.. My TPO-levels are still borderline positive. The new reference levels are <10 means negative, 10-25 are borderline and >25 is considered positive. My levels are at 20. I naively thought that the "endocrinologist" would finally see that both my T4 and TPO are abnormal. But he simply repeated the same sentence as always - "they're within reference levels. New blood work in 3 months". He even said that my TPO-levels have dropped from 80 to 20 and even though I questioned that he still wouldn't listen. I mean, you can't compare two samples with different reference levels, even though they measure the same hormone. So, I'm not getting any help yet either. What makes me mad is that he never asks me how I'm feeling, because that doesn't seem to interest him the slightest. Why the hell aren't he trying to figure out why my TPO-levels aren't dropping if I don't take cortisone and why my T4 levels are always low. Especially since they saw on the ultrasound I did last fall that my thyroid is on the smaller side.. Yeah, I wonder why. My mum was diagnosed with thyroid cancer last year and had hers removed, so thyroid issues deffinitely runs in the family.

Ugh, I had to get it off my chest. I just feel so frustrated by him not listening to me! I think I'll talk to my house doctor about this and see what he thinks. Maybe I can get a referral to the larger clinic with an endocrinologist, because I have zero trust in the one I'm seeing right now. And I can't switch since there's only 1 "endocrinologist" here. Which by the way have a reputation of being an ass..

As far as TTC goes, I'm cd 10 and I expect I'll ovulate around cd 14 as always. This month I haven't been taking the maca, rose root or ashwagandha since I am taking Gabapentin for my fibromyalgia.

So, I could be either 1 or 3 dpo right now. I can usually rely on my temps, they've always been accurate in the past. But lately I've noticed they aren't as reliable as before. I'm guessing it's due to my fibromyalgia and me not sleeping enough hours at a time some of the nights. I would love to buy a tempdrop but at the same time I don't want to pay that kind of money right now. Too bad it's hard to get them "second hand" around here, since I don't think there's that many who knows what a tempdrop is.

I think I just got my this morning and I'm honestly in complete shock. I took an early test yesterday morning (local brand) and got a squinter. I brushed it off as just another evap. I have 8 regular dip strips and an early one (brand similar to frer). I really want to save my early one because I so badly want to actually see a strong line on that one. So this morning I took one of the dip strips and was expecting a shadow at best since yesterday's test were so faint and the fact I'm only 9 dpo. For the past 3-4 days I've been having some pinching a few times a day, similar to what I feel right before af comes but this time much much lighter. I've been having a weird feeling in my boobs too, like they're not tender but I can feel something happening inside them. Well, to my surprise I can see a line develop and it's the strongest one I've got during all these years of TTC #2 and I'm only 9 dpo! I just want to jump up and down and scream of joy, but at the same time I need to see it get stronger first. I especially need to see a positive CB digital, because then I can truly believe it's real.

This is what the test looks like once dried. Had to make the pic b&w since the colors in the pic got all funky, but the line is really visible anyway. Is it weird that for the first time I'm actually scared to test again? I don't want to get a negative because that would be heartbreaking. I told my husband that I think I'm pregnant, but right now I'm waiting to see if it sticks. I so wanna see that digital say 'pregnant'.

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Thank you ladies. I really hope your sticky vibes works. I tested again today with the same brand as yesterday, an early one (similar to frer) and the digital. The digital said 'not pregnant' as expected, I kind of took a chance with that one. But I did honestly expected at least a stronger line on the early one, but that looked almost negative. The strip are definitely stronger and has never given me anything but a squinter at best before. So I don't think it's faulty. I'm going to order a new digital and a different brand of test just to double check before I can start to believe this.

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