Taking a little break
It's been over 2½ years since we started trying for another baby and that road has been full of disappointment. I never thought it would take this long to conceive, even though our first took almost 1½ years. Last fall I got accepted to one of the university programs I applied to and I now have a year left before I graduate - or 2 years, if I for some reason decide to get a bachelor degree (highly unlikely). At the end of next spring, we have to do an internship for a few weeks before graduation. Now that it's taking us so long, it would mean that if I get pregnant within the next few months the EDD will be right around the time of my internship. I feel that would be terrible timing. So I've been doing some heavy thinking and after discussing it with my husband we have decided to take a little break from this whole TTC. At first I thought about setting up an appointment to get some contraceptive during this time, but now I'm a bit torn about it. It's taken us so long and we haven't conceived yet, if you don't count all the chemical pregnancies. So I think we will be NTNP (not trying, not preventing) until the end of september, and then we'll see what happens. Maybe we get back to TTC or stick to NTNP.
For now, I'm going to try and focus on other things that make me happy. In a few days we will be occupied with getting to know the latest family member - a cute little (for now) french lop. Her big hutch is almost done and she will have plenty of space!
14 Comments • 10 weeks ago
So, apparantely the internship isn't when I thought it was. I thought it would be like april to june, but it's actually from the middle of january to the middle of march. But it doesn't change the fact that we need to take a break until october. I still want to graduate before a possible little one joins the family.
As for our little rabbit, we finally got her home this wednesday. It took us around 6-7 hours from the time we left until we got home. Our little Humla (Bumblebee if you translate it to english) wasn't the least bit stressed about it and she's been acclimating really quick. She's such a cutie!
9 weeks ago • Post starter
So, I don't know what my body's up to this time. I should be expecting af any minute now, but my body isn't acting as usual. Normally I get cramps a few days before af, followed by bad skin (especially in my face), sore boobs, feeling cold and of course the usual spotting that arrives around 2 days prior to af. Today I'm approximately 15 dpo, but since I didn't track I could be a few days off. Well, it's 14 days since the day I had an extreme amount of eggwhite cm. So much that it totally soked my pants.. Either we had sex around 5-6 days prior to ovulation, or 1-2 days after. None of the days were when I had ewcm. About 4 days ago I noticed my cm started to get a tiny hint of pink and I knew that I would start spotting the next day. It usually starts with a day of light pink spotting, that turns into a day or two of brown spotting until af arrives. Today is day 3 with only pink spotting. And that's the only sign that af I have right now that af would be on her way.
I've taken a few tests, unfortunately with a brand that always seems to show a super faint line. That line has gotten a bit more noticable over the past 2 days and today I could see it clearly, albeit faint. I still feel like it's an evap since we didn't bd around ovulation at all. But at the same time I can't help but think - "what if". I'll give it a few more days to see if af shows up, and I would be surprised if she didn't, and then I'll try with a different brand this weekend.
Here's what the line looked like this morning, with a pretty diluted urine I might add.
8 weeks ago • Post starter
Seems like my gut feeling about that test were right, it was most likely an evap. Took another one, although with a really short hold, and it was negative for sure. Still waiting for af to arrive, surprised it hasn't yet. This is day 4 with spotting, so if af doesn't arrive today this will be my only cycle, out of 31, that have had more than 3 days of spotting before af arrives. I've only had 5 other cycles were I spotted 3 days, all others have been 2 or less days. As of right now, I'd rather have af show up, because with all these days of spotting and a quiestionable evap my mind goes to an ectopic. Clearly af is preferred in that case. Hopefully she arrives today so that I can leave this weird cycle behind me.
7 weeks ago • Post starter
Af finally arrived today and I actually feel really relieved. My husband and I have talked a bit and we both think that right now wouldn't be a good time to get pregnant. I only have less then a year before I graduate and I would like to work at least a little while before having another child. And my husband is in a bad place emotionally due to his work. He are trying to find another job and have also applied for school. So my brain tells me that we need to take a serious break from TTC, even though my heart tells me otherwise. But sometimes you just can't listen to your heart only, especially with something so important as adding a child to your family. Which means monday morning I'll call the midwife's office to set up an appointment for birth control. At least for a few months and then we can have a look at were we are in life then. Because I know I want another child, but not right now. My family are more important than someone that doesn't even exist yet.
As far as contraceptive goes, I'll have to talk to the midwife and see which option are best for me. Never in hell will I try another IUD! Not only did my previous IUD cause cysts (that sometimes ruptured), the strings also didn't stay in place and actually started to attach itself to my uterus walls.. I'm thinking if trying the contraceptive patch, but we'll see what we come up with.
7 weeks ago • Post starter
Hasn't been writing for a few weeks now, but thought I would post an update. So, yesterday I finally got a prescription for some contraceptive. Unfortunately I didn't get much options as to what to choose. The reason? My blood pressure was too high.. The funny and annoying thing about that is that I don't have high blood pressure! I have a blood pressure machine at home and I have always had a pretty low number. I always stay under 120/80, unless I'm really stressed or nervous about something. Like being in an hospital enviroment.. I got a reading of 135/100 at the midwife's office, and then half an hour later a student checked it again when I had an appointment with a district nurse - 150/85.. When I got home and have had some time to relax, I got my usual low number again, 96/78. When I talked to my mum she mentioned something called "White coat syndrome" and when I read about it, it was so spot on! Because I got a high reading, I couldn't get the contraceptive I wanted, and instead had to settle for one of the options I didn't really want..
On to the good part of my visit to the healt care center. When I had my second appointment, with the district nurse, she checked on a small "lump" on my throat and after a few questions she said she suspected it's my thyroid. That's my suspicion too, especially since my mum has problems with her thyroid and have nodules on or around it. The nurse were a bit surprised as to why I got an appointment with her, since I should be seeing a doctor about it. So she got out in the hallway and "grabbed" the first doctor she could find. She then ordered some blood tests to be done and also booked a new appointment, this time with the doctor, in 1½ weeks time. I went to the lab straight away to get the blood work done - they took 6 collection tubes! So at least it looks like I'll get a full thyroid check! If there's a problem with my thyroid, it would explain so many things! Like how I've gained 10 kg during a year, despite being more active (walking), I'm always exhausted, freezing and then of course can't seem to get pregnant or being able to keep it longer than until af is expected.
Some of the tests were immunologic, which means it could take about a week before the results are back. I could see the results on some of the tests, but those I could see were only standard ones like hemoglobin, sodium and such. So it's going to be interesting to find out the rest of the results.
33 days ago • Post starter
More Journal posts