Community post

hi ladies.

AF just came in full force. no point feeling sorry for myself, so here i am! going to catch up on our forum!

kungfu - i havent looked into soy, from my reading its basically the natural alternative to clomid --- please correct me if i am wrong! i remember its sort of got the same effect, so since i am taking femara i figured its best not to take soy. what do you think babe?

storm - i really am rooting for you, i hope everything goes well with you and your gf! honestly, this ttc thing is stressful, i cant remember how many arguments ive had due to the stress of it, or the stress from it leading to other stupid arguments. hang in there. have you tested again?

cocoa- how was the procedure? was it painful? yay 6 embryos! i am beyond excited for you. i really am. THEY WILL NOT CALL YOU. THEY WILL NOT CALL YOU. there! i am willing the universe for you....

weekend is coming up. hope you ladies have a great one!!!!!

also i am annoyed because i am out of tampons. i didnt buy any, hoping id get pregnant. obviously too optimistic.....

So ladies yes I think it could be a deal breaker. She's basically getting cold feet about me ttc. Which is messed up because we met in March and I was ttc before we met. I stopped to enjoy summer and things with her have gotten serious. When I brought it back up I explained as best as possible that I want looking for her to be a parent. I was going into this ad a single mom by choice. She said she would still feel like if we stay together she'll be having a baby too and she's not ready for more children. So whatever, if we break up over it then we do. I'm ready for motherhood with or without a partner.

Anywho, still cramping. Temp went back up to 98, my high, this cycle. CB plus this morning and I thought I seen the faintest of faint lines, could be imagining though. Now I'm out of pg test so I'll just wait and see if af shows Monday or not. You ladies enjoy your weekend.

Cocoa 6 embryos seem really awesome. I've read stories of women with 2 and both take, so I'm really seeing the bright side in this for you. Maybe Saturday wouldn't be as bad if you end up with bfp too right?

It's so easy to see the positives for others and not yourself. Smh I'm going out of town to visit brother I haven't seen in a year, excited about that!

Storm - I'm hoping the situation with your gf works out. I can understand it may feel a bit overwhelming for her but hopefully she just needs time to get her head around it (if that's what you want). Have you tested again?

Primadonna - Your message to the universe worked and they didn't call. I was so so relieved as Saturday was better than expected but I'm still glad I didn't have to go anywhere near the hospital. Also - the procedure wasn't too bad at all. Beforehand I was struggling to walk as my ovaries were so big and heavy so I was glad to get the eggs out. I was sedated for the actual procedure and although I was very tender for about 48 hours afterwards I wouldn't say it was too bad.

So, today is the day we transfer one or two embryos back to me. I can't believe we've gotten to this stage as every step has felt like a game of chance. I don't know how many are still growing but I've figured it must be more than 2 or they would have called on Saturday. I've been taking each step at a time and haven't dared to buy a pregnancy test yet in case we never got to this stage.

DH seems exhausted with the whole process and isn't sure whether he will come to the appointment today. I'm a bit disappointed tbh as we get to make the choice about how many to put back in, see the embryo being inserted and will be told about how to deal with my tww. I don't need him there as I can manage all that myself, just disappointed that he isn't interested in this part. He has been to every other appointment much less interesting than this one so just don't get it.

Hej Coco. I wish you all the best of luck. Maybe he does not realize that its a more important meetings than the others?

Storm. I hope everything is working out with your gf and that she understands how important that is for you.
I do believe it is quite hard to stay away from being a parent though if your partner is having a child. It would still be your family life. In the end if my DH would not step a bit into the father role towards my son I am not sure that relationship was to last. Would be strange to be growing a child on my own but in a relationship. But of course I do now know your situation and I hope it just works out fine.

Primadonna... Where are you now? how are you feeling? Back to the next cycle or are you waiting a fertility treatment?

I know I am not ttc anymore but I wanted to check up on you guys and send you all the luck I got <3

Thank you ladies. I completely understand it's a huge choice, I just had no idea she was so against it or I wouldn't have entertained dating for the last 6 months. We still talk but not as much or as in depth as before.

Cocoa I'm sure you'll both make the decision that right for you both. Can't wait to hear about your BFP announcement soon.

Prima looks like I'll be right behind ya

Kung-fu how's the pregnancy going so far? Have you shared with others yet or are you waiting?

AFM I've been spotting the last few days and today my flow came in smh I thought timing was perfect. I think I get confused with OPKs and BBT charting. I want to be able to better pinpoint o day this cycle. My donor is so accommodating but the distance is a challenge as we're not in the same state. So we'll see how this goes. Also, his last visit, he left clomid 100mg, not sure if I'll use it or not. Not sure if I should see an RE yet or not. Just so many questions that only time can really tell.

I havent announced anything. I prefer waiting since I am not sure I completely believe it myself untill after my first appointments. unfortunately I will still have to wait 3 more weeks for my first appointment. then I would be around 8-10 weeks far along.

Next week we are going on a holiday though to see my DH parents and my mother (we all live in different countries) And I know there will be no way to hide it since I will turn down all champagne and beers that are. So I think we might announce it to them although I will try and wait till after a first scan to make it official and tell my son :)

I did have so many symptoms last week but somehow this week I am not really feeling anything so I am back to believing im not pregnant. haha. Im pretty hard to convince lol.

Storm - I hope your doing ok with the tww and your gf situation. It must be quite stressful and disappointing not to have her support.

Kungfupanda - Nice to hear you don't have too many symptoms to deal with just now. My family would be very suspicious if I turned down a glass of wine so, if yours are anything like mine, they would all be discussing it behind my back even if I didn't tell them directly.

Prima - How are you doing? Are you ready to try again?

Well, I had my egg transfer yesterday and I am seriously not sure how much more I can take. Of the 6 eggs that fertalised, 2 made it to transfer day but one looked a bit abnormal so the embryologist wanted to monitor it for a few more days and then decide whether to freeze it or not. The other embryo is only at a morula stage so it has been very slow to develop and the chances of it working are very slim. We transferred this back anyway and I am now on my tww again. I haven't stopped crying since yesterday afternoon as the implications all started to sink in. I can't believe how much effort, drugs, time has gone into something that probably won't work. I don't even feel like myself anymore as my body has swollen up so much with the drugs (I had to buy new clothes a I went up 4 dress sizes in 3 weeks), my stomach is black and blue from the injections and I am physically and emotionally exhausted. Then, to top it all off, I have to spend the next 10 days on the assumption that I am pregnant (i.e. cut out alcohol, caffeine, shellfish) and look for another job (Oh yeah, my work sold my department to an American company so I'm out of a job in a few months). I'm feeling very sorry for myself.

The hospital just called to say that my embryo wasn't suitable to freeze. I'm heartbroken.

I just want to hug you now Coco. This actually brought tear to my eye. i still have my hopes up for the one egg you have. You are still on a tww. Please dont loose Hope. <3 things Will get better and who knows maybe you get a better job as well. i understand it is all completely overwhelmlng but it seems that sometimes in life Everything happens at the same time but i would Believe that at this point things should turn around soon and you must be having some good news around the corner. I just refuse believing anything else

Hugs hugs hugs <3

Thanks Kungfupanda. I was feeling so sorry for myself yesterday and cried all afternoon until DH came home and got angry at me for being so negative and pointed out that the state I was getting myself into wasn't going to be helping this embryo. So I've pulled myself together and am planning to try to stay as positive and calm as possible.

I'm also going to stop googling the embryo quality at transfer as it makes the situation seem hopeless...