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oh man, what a range of emotions.

Missy, I'm sorry you are dealing with that oh-so-awful feeling of the pending AF. But lisette is right, it's not over until it's over...and don't worry, I'll be right there with you in another week.

But then, Missy! MISSY! I cannot believe it might truly be true for one of us! You have been through so much, you deserve this through and through. I hope the doctor's visit went well and that you're our first 'cycle buddy success'!!!! I'm sure it will stick, just take a deep breath, get lots of sleep, and try not to worry (I know- easier said than done).

At the very least, let's promise each other one thing...no matter how long it takes, we stick together until we're all sitting on the beach with a respective bambino...or three. :)

opps, I meant congrats Lisette! I know you two apart very well...I don't know how I wrote Missy. :( Sorry to you both.

Missy, yes- I've learned a little bit about IUI because that's our next step in september. It involves injections at home, with daily am ultrasounds/bloodwork during the time of O, then one final shot to make you O when the ultrasound tells you it's time, then you head into the office the next day and they take the sperm and put it right up into your cervix with a catheter. The shots are supposed to be awful, but the procedure itself is minor and feels like a pap smear.

So, today is my 31st birthday and my one year mark of TTC. I'm feeling so blue. Last birthday, I was so hopeful and youthful and excited to embark on my new phase of life and I felt like I was choosing when that began. This birthday I feel old and angry and bitter with the world. It's such a sad way to be. :(

I want to enjoy the day and the fireworks, but all I can think about is what my birthday was like last summer - I was convinced I was pregnant and carrying around my very own little perfect poppyseed.

Any AF signs missy? Lisette, how are you holding up?

First of all a very happy birthday Court. I wish I could do something so you would not feel so blue, but it is completely understandable. We all have this wonderful desire to be moms and the world sometimes makes this very difficult. Just think my little one was supposed to be born in July, and my parents constantly reminded me of this and it made me feel awful to remember. And here we are in July and in this precise month I get a bfp. Funny how it works sometimes. I have hope once again and I know your bfp will come soon enough.

MIssy how are you holding up? Any signs of AF? Keeping positive thoughts your way.

I got my blood test results yesterday and bfp was confirmed. Have not talked to md yet still have to wait until we set an appointment. Still taking my temp everyday helps me keep my mind at peace that something wont go wrong this time.

Keeping you ladies in my thoughts.

Just wanted to check in really quickly to say happy birthday to you, Court --- and additional congratulations to you, Lisette. Enjoy the holiday and stay positive!

(Still no AF... giving it a few more days before testing again.)

Missy- that seems promising. When is AF due?

Thank you both for the birthday wishes. I couldn't really shake my sadness last night, but the fireworks and then a last night ice cream helped a little. DH is being supportive, but he's sort of always been at a loss for words in this area.

Lisette, I'm sorry you had a sad memory about July, but think of how wonderful it is that this new positive can replace that old feeling!

I'm hoping that my original 'plan' will work, (I always wanted a spring baby for work reasons), just one year later than expected.

Too bad my percentage of being able to conceive naturally just dropped to 3-5%. Ug. Deep breaths!

Thanks for the information on the IUI, Court. I know that is probably our next step, as well. I think your information is better than what I had gleaned from my internet reading, so I appreciate it very much!

How are you feeling, Lisette? Everything still going well for you? I'm really glad that you are having something so great happen with everything on your mind this July. Have you told any of your family yet?

As for me, still no AF... and no bfp either. I'm 16dpo (or so I calculated - maybe I'm off a few days). I tested again today, but still bfn. I'm wondering if things are all out of whack again b/c this is a "natural" cycle. But, if I ovulated I should still have about a 14 lp. If I was that far off for my O day, then I don't think there is too much of a chance for a bfp anyway. Oddly enough, I'm not stressing a lot about it, and figure that my cycle is just screwy again without the Clomid.

Court, I am really at a pretty low point myself. I think we started trying at the same time, too. It has just been such a long year. My boyfriend is being really supportive about everything, but he doesn't quite know what to say. That's ok though, I'll take the hugs and the kisses on the forehead. Also, things are not looking all that good on the job market, and while we will be ok without the double income, I'm not sure how we will be able to swing fertility treatments. I hate to have to finance it. I just don't know what is going to happen. I'm here with you, Court... we are going to make this work out for us! How many more days before you test?

Hey there. Just a few other things about IUI- there's usually a 2 hour class you have to take that shows you how to do the injections, and there's about a 10% chance of success each time. Missy, if you do have to finance it yourself, which I really hope you don't, perhaps your specialist will allow you to go straight to IVF? This has a 40% chance of working each time.

I know my friend, who had incredible insurance, was allowed to go straight to IVF because her insurance covered it. For me, my insurance would make me do IUI first...BUT, if you're paying out of pocket, it shouldn't matter, right?

Now, on to the more pressing issue....you should not give up hope, missy! If you still haven't seen AF yet, that's a really good sign! A lot of times the home tests don't work for a week after.

I'm sorry to hear you're so blue, too. It's an awful feeling. I just had a friend text me, "so any babies in your future? you'd be a great mom." Yeah...Id love to say yes, but I can't, and now you just bummed me out when I was trying to ignore my situation. And...my DH is very 'hands off' and doesn't even give me kisses and hugs. Jealous! He just sort of shrugs and high-fives me and says it'll happen someday.

AF is due Tues/Wed. Not sure when I should start testing. I was thinking monday. Don't know how long I can hold off.

Lisette, I'm anxious to hear more good news from you! Hope all is going well!

Hope everyone had a great 4th. Missy still no AF?? That is very good news. Court is right some people do not test positive as early as others. I have spent A LOT of time checking out different temperature charts on fertility friend and seeing when people ovulate, test positive and such and everyone has such a different range. I know clomid made we ovulate a couple of days earlier (about 5ish) and made my temps higher than normal. How are your temps, still high? That would be another positive. Do not count yourself out quite yet!

Court you think you can wait until Monday? Be positive and see if you can hold off until then. Keeping positive thoughts for your way.

I won't be seeing my doctor until the end of the month but so far so good. Praying and hoping for a sticky bean!

I wanted to share a cute story from work the other day. So at work we keep the pregnancy tests and condoms locked up because there are high theft items so customers always have us open the cabinet when they need something. So this guy comes to my counter and asks for help. He looks pretty confused on what test to get telling me there is just too many. He finally gets one and I can tell he looks a little nervous. I ask him if everything is okay and he says he is just excited. They have been waiting for their BFP. I just thought it was super cute that he wanted to get the best one and how excited he looked at the possibility of having a baby. I think that has been the only time someone was looking for the test to be positive and it the significant other buying the test.

Ladies sending lots of positive thoughts!!

That's a great story Lisette. Missy?!?! Any AF yet? You've been on my mind these last few days! If not, you'll certainly be a few days late, right?

Wondering if I should hold off until Wednesday to test. Tomorrow is only 13 dpo.

So, we have friends who are spending the week on the island with other friends and they needed help getting from the ferry to their rental. I offered to drive them and brought my highlander with the third row, empty. When we got there, all six kids piled into my car, plus one of the mom's got in and held the 18 month old on her lap (we were only going a few blocks on a 5mph cobblestone street -ha). Anyway, the little baby's name was George (my DH's name) and he had blonde curly hair. He looked a lot like what we think our future baby might look like because we both had blonde curly hair when we were little.

Seeing the little George really bothered my DH. :( He was said for the rest of the day and kept saying, I want that so badly. I just want a little george running around. He also mentioned that he felt overwhelmed that all of his friends are 'done' having kids and we haven't started yet. He's 37, so all his friends have 2-3 kids.

Anyway, I really, really hope it happens for me this month, but I have a gut feeling I'm going to have to do many rounds of infertility treatments to make this thing happen.

Lisette, how far along were you when you miscarried the first time? Hope you're staying relaxed as possible!

Missy, hoping for no AF!

Hey ladies! Hope yall had a nice weekend. I think my AF has started. I spotted once late, late Friday night and once yesterday - nothing today - but I guess things are just going slowly. I'm going to call my dr. tomorrow morning for the 6th and final round of Clomid. Just for good measure, I'll test again if my AF hasn't picked up.

If everything goes to schedule, hopefully I'll be able to test on our birthdays - my boyfriend's birthday is 8/3 and mine is 8/5. We will both be 37 this year. Last year, I had already had a bfn (just had started trying) and - wow - did I have a few too many! I just remember thinking that it would be our last birthday with just us two. I was so, so sure of it.

Despite the obnoxiously hot weather, I spent the day on the beach, which was just so relaxing. A friend came to visit, she and her husband were TTC for a few years, unsuccessfully. She understands what we're going through, but I'm not sure that I can just give up or stop trying like they did. Hopefully, I won't ever get to the point where I have to ask how she managed to come to that decision.

I'm going to head off to bed, and I'll let you know if anything changes tomorrow.

Court - Let us know what happens if you are testing! Positive thoughts and baby dust to you :)