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You are the best, Missy! Thanks for all the good talks and positive thoughts and understanding!

At the beach today - trying to forget everything and ignore my awful cramps- a set of three families together came and laid their blanket about 10 ft from us. They had four babies between them and one of the perfectly skinny, tan moms was pregnant again. All the babies had these expensive little perfect nantucket outfits on and had little baby tans. My DH and I had to get up, walk to the car, let me hold back my tears, then go back down to the beach and walk in the other direction, so far down we were near no one.

It's not their fault at all, but man, it felt awful and so in my face.

I guess I just get to feeling like everyone can just have a baby the moment they feel like it. I know it's absurd of me to think that...hello, infertility is one of the biggest businesses there is!

Missy, you can handle the payments! Don't even think about it as paying for a babe, think of it as paying for intensive, high quality medical care...that's all. It's just medical care...the best kind there is. :)

I'm glad your doctor has been so great. How many months have you been on clomid? When is your final month? I can't remember...

On to the next month. Two more on clomid before things change big time...

Oh, and wait, when are you taking another test?!?!? If there's a chance for you this cycle, I so hope it's true!

Good evening ladies

I just needed to things off my chest tonite. I've been stressing and over thinking everything today. This morning my temp dropped not to my coverline but lower since I o'd and I can't help freaking out. I don't want to sound too concerned because then I'll worry dh. I hate not feeling any symptoms! Hopefully today was just a weird day. I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonite

Oh Lisette, I hate that you have to go through all this worry. I'm so sorry. Is there any way you can call your doctor's nurse station; maybe she can put your mind at ease a bit?

As hard as this is, try not to worry too much. (easy, right?) Adding stress won't help anything. Would it be possible to put the thermometer away? I was reading online, briefly, about temp drop at 5 weeks and it seems pretty common and didn't result in m/c. There was also another woman whose temp stayed way high until after a m/c. In the end, the overwhelming consensus was to throw the thermometer away because it only added stress and worry to the delicate process.

You have every right to temp each morning to keep your mind at ease, especially after what you went through. Just make sure it's helpful and not hurtful. Now, all that said...your temp is still way higher than your baseline! It's still way up there! AND...you made it almost a week past your last m/c time. That's a great start!

Hope you slept a little. :(

Thanks Court!! I needed some words of encouragement to help me put my nerves at ease. I just took my temp this morning and it did go back up but I do think I will not temp anymore. It is way too stressful. My first doctors appt will be coming up soon next week. I think I'm just paranoid.

How are both of you feeling?

Hi Lisette and Court,

Sorry, that you are having such a hard time even on your vacation.

I had company this weekend, my 21-yr-old cousin and her boyfriend. They are already talking marriage and babies... Of course I gave her the 'wait' speech - but in the back of my mind all I was thinking is that, of course, she'll get knocked up and here I'll be looking at someone whose diapers I changed with a kid before me. Really? How is this the way it is supposed to be?

My sister, also, came down this weekend. We aren't that close, and she can be really mean when she's "joking". She was starting with the conversation about when we are having kids, why don't I just take the pill (Clomid), and making horrible comments. My bf is an occasional smoker, and I hate it. I said something to the effect that he promised he we quit when we had kids. Her response was, "Well, I hope he doesn't get lung cancer first." Real nice, huh? Fun weekend.

Oh, and there was no chance that I was pregnant with the last hpt I took, I'm sure. I just get to thinking and thinking and thinking. If I $5 test will ease my mind, it is worth every penny. I'm pretty sure that I am going to be taking a bunch this month. It is the 6th round of Clomid -- specialist after this month. :(

Lisette, I am so glad that everything is ok, and things are moving along nicely. Court is so right, try and relax. Easy said than done, no doubt. Have you gone to the dr yet? Can't wait to hear how that goes.

I started with the opks today, CD11. The earliest I've had was CD13 - so, I still have a couple of days. We really need some luck this month - and good timing.

Also, I have a promising interview tomorrow - at an elementary school (go figure). Hopefully, we can get everything on back on track - this Friday is my last day at my current job.

When do you start with your opks, Court?

Hello ladies,

I read through ALL your posts and all I have to say is you girls are troopers and everything will be well worth it SOON. I thought long about posting because you girls have built up such a nice relationship but your posts are exactly what I need. :)

I'm 25 and have been TTC for 1 year (since our wedding last June). I went off the Nuvaring right after our wedding and didn't get a period until January. In March I started charting and taking OPKs every cycle to monitor exactly what was happening with my cycle. Turns out, I ovulate around Day25-26 and my luteal phase only lasts 7-9 days. I used to worry that there was a SERIOUS issue but I am hopeful that it's some-kind of hormonal imbalance (could it be??) and I just need Clomid or something to help out. A couple weeks ago we finally found a family doctor and first thing we asked is to be referred to a Fertility Clinic (it's done like that in Canada, most family doctors don't deal with infertility). She sent us for blood work (Day3 test, day21 progesterone test, Semen analysis & others) and sent in our referral. We got an appointment 1 week away! (unheard of! Usually the wait is 4-6 months in Canada) The SA came back normal and my Day3 results are also normal - I haven't gotten the Day21 results back but I think they'll find a problem there (especially that I hadn't even ovulated yet - I'm on CD25 now and I don't think I've ovulated although the OPKs are negative and my CM has changed (no longer EW)....

Anyway, my friend thinks they'll put me on Clomid right away - you girl have any insight?

I'm nervous about our appointment next week but excited that this may fix our 'problem'.

Also, I've had A LOT of depressing thoughts recently dealing with the fact that we can't conceive naturally and something so 'natural' as having a baby could end up costing so much. How do you deal?

Thanks for the support,
Dree

OH, I totally forgot to mention (where are my manners...

Lisette, CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Missy & Court, sending you baby dust and positive vibes :)

Hey ladies,

Welcome, Dree. I have to agree with you and say that we have formed a pretty solid bond through this site! But we certainly have room for another cycle buddy. The more positive thoughts and friends who really know what this is like, the better. And wow, I give you credit for reading ALL of our pages! :)

Missy, where to begin. First of all...those comments are so, so insensitive and I'm sorry you have to hear them, especially coming from family. There is no excuse. I used to get them all the time from my coworker; I'm dreading going back to work.

All my fingers and toes are crossed for you this month...it just has to happen! We have one more round of clomid after this in August and then I'm in your shoes. BUT, as expensive and awful as it is to go, hopefully you can feel some relief in going. It's nice to put it in someone else's hands, so you don't have to feel like you aren't doing it right, or good enough.

Dree, you too...try to think of it as a positive. And what great news on your quick appointment! That's a positive sign right there! As for what's going on with you, the specialist will take care of it all. Just know that a very high percentage of couples fall in the 'unexplained infertility' category, which is where we fall. It's SO frustrating that there is no reason for our infertility. BUT, explained or unexplained, you can still go through the cycles and hopefully get a bean...or three! :)

And, even as I re-read my own words about how great seeing a specialist is, I am also devastated. It's easy to give you both positive thoughts and praise about going...harder to not sit on the beach and think: why me? I actually think I might seek out therapy when I get back in September. I'm feeling so blue these days. My friend who went through infertility (and has twin boys) said her support group leader said an infertility dx is as devastating and stressful as a cancer dx.

Missy, good luck with your OPKS. I am on cd 6, second day on clomid, I won't start the opks until day 13. It's been cd 15-16 for me on clomid.

GOOD LUCK ON YOUR INTERVIEW!!!!!!!!! Are you a teacher? I'm so excited for you! Something to focus on! Do you have a great outfit picked out? I was shocked when my suit still fit me when I pulled it out the other day...

Lisette...anxiously awaiting your doctor news!

sending you all my love!

Hey ladies!

Welcome, Dree! I'm glad that you decided to post! You are very welcome here, and please jump on it to the conversation.

I'm with Court, I can't believe that you've read all the posts!:) I went back and read through them myself - wow, I know that I can be naturally cynical, but dang! It is my new goal and try and be more positive. Getting down about all of this is getting me nowhere. Court, if you feel like a support group will help - do it. We all cope in different ways and mind over matter isn't always possible. I don't think that I knew how bad I need to talk and to vent until we all started talking. It has been great for me, and I look forward to reading each new post. Seeing things work for Lisette has made me more hopeful, too :) and I'm looking forward to new updates.

One of my favorite things about this forum is being able to share all (well, most) of the crazy thoughts in my head without judgement or making someone feel uncomfortable. The longer this goes on, the more people don't know what to say. Not only that, but I feel like me expressing my hopes and fears makes them uncomfortable, or I feel like they are tired of hearing about it. "It" comprises a overwhelming majority of my thoughts and keeping it all in is totally not my style and stresses me out even more. I guess what I'm trying to say is, that I am here to listen to whatever yall are thinking without judgement -- I'm sure that we are all thinking similar things at this point. This discussion is absolutely something I need to have, and I am so thankful that I have you gals to chat with. :)

What good news, Dree! I'm glad that you got a doctor's appt so quickly! While I wish (really wish) things would get moving, I can't imagine knowing that you need to do something, but can't just b/c you can't get an appt. I guess that we have all been lucky that we have at least been able to get fertility help quickly... silver lining, and all that.

As far as the short lp, that can sometime be a sign of lower progesterone, which is a problem that I've had - please, let us know how your day21 test goes. Annovulatory cycles are something that I've dealt with too - the Clomid definitely got my ovulation in a rhythm. I hope that it does the same for you, Dree!

Just a few more days, Court, until we start trying again! New month, new hope! I really feel for you and everything you are going through - I can't wait to hear about a bfp for you...

(Interview didn't go so hot - I don't think :( I'm just unbelievably anxious and stressed about a million things, and I just don't think I did well at all. I used to teach, but I've been doing data analysis and database management for the past 6 years. I might start trying to teach, but I don't think that I can handle the craziness of the classroom right now :( )

Sorry to have rambled on, it's been one of those days and my bf is out playing softball - no sounding board tonight. Expecting a +opk sometime between now Friday, and I am ready to make a baby!!! :D

I will be thinking about all of you!

Missy, I feel like I could've written that post myself! I have the SAME EXACT feelings and this site -our group- is a great outlet for us. You are so right when you say the longer this goes on, the more awkward it becomes and the less people know what to say. I actually feel like I have to bring it up in order to get past the awkward silences. I always say things like, "Nothing's new here, how about you?" Or, "No changes for us, how are you guys doing?" Such a weird and terrible thing to have to say.

Dree, one other thing you should be grateful for is your age. You are likely going to be one of the youngest couples the specialist sees, which is good for your prognosis.

Missy, sorry about your job interview. I'm sure it wasn't as bad as you think it was. I always feel so stupid trying to answer questions and can think of the greatest answer 15 minutes after it's over! Ug.

So, last month I went through my entire 2 month supply of pregnancy tests that I brought with me because I was so freaked and excited AF was four days late. I'm thinking I might go back to temping, for the main purpose of prepping for when AF gets here. I can't go through that again. Ug...

Hope you're all well!