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Oh, Dree, I'm so glad you didn't disappear! Don't feel guilty for working hard, you have a lot on your plate! We were just worried.

Your appointments all sound AMAZING! Open tubes are wonderful, CD 3 results are wonderful, and the fact they were able to isolate a problem area (low prog) is amazing! I have a friend with PCOS and she has two adorable twin boys thanks to IVF.

I'm glad you felt welcomed and the clinic was calm and positive. That's so reassuring.

As for missy, I know you will figure it out in time. You got your new job, which was your first step, and you and DH will figure out step two when the time is right.

There was one study I read, actually, that said the percentage of women who have fertility issues (TTC for more than one year) and go on to have children are the same for those who seek out intervention and those who don't, it's just that those who seek out intervention have a higher chance of multiples.

On the other hand, your chances are low (3-5% each cycle) for conceiving after one year of failed TTC, so you just have to be stronger mentally and take all the BFNs in stride. Missy, either way, you can get through this. We're here to support you through it all!

Isn't it funny how temping is so different for different people? One of you hated it, one of you loves it, and I use it to prep for AF, rather than confirm O. Ha!

Ladies, I'm feeling good about our connection and know we're all in this together, no matter what!

Thanks Court! I needed to read that wonderful message from you. You're so positive and it's SO relaxing lol.

Yes our appointments were good and I'm happy we're moving along in this journey. I just can't wait until I can start Clomid and get baby making FOR REAL.

Haha, I didn't hate temping but it did cause some anxiety I didn't want. Now, I feel like I'm lost though! ... weird...

I want a baby NOWWWWWWWWWW.

haha.. don't we all?

And Court, I agree - I think we made a valuable connection and I'm so glad I came along when I did! You are all wonderful women that I'm glad I met.

D

Hello ladies,

Sorry I'm still working about 52 hours a week, I dont think I have turned on my computer since last Thursday (which was my last day off). I was surprised I was almost 1 page behind!!

First of all great news Missy. We want your temperature to stay up that is a great sign!. The first time I got pregnant I got my positive at 9dpo so it can be possible. My Dh pressured me to test and it really did take me by surprise. Just dont let it get you down since a very small percentage of people get a positive that early. AS long as there was a temperature increase you can be pretty sure you did ovulate. Keeping my fingers crossed for you, I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

Court how are things with you? Im super excited for your smiley face. I'm glad your staying positive. Smiley face is great way to know that everything is on track . Your body is really for babytime!!!

I totally loved your stories on how you met your wonderful significant others. My story is kind of different too. I met my DH in a AOL chat room. This was back in 99'(i was only 20 then) when it was still scary to talk to people online. So apparently I was talking to his friend initially but he had to leave ( I found out about this years later) or something so then my DH hopped on to talk to me. I think that first night we chatted for a couple hours. I never really thought anything about it because I was in CA and he was in WA. I figured I would never even meet this guy. We pretty much chatted everyday after that. Well about a year and a half later I finally had the guts to give him my number so we talked on the phone for the first time. I was really weird because although I had never met him we felt like we had known each other forever. Shortly after our phone conversations we finally decided to met. He came down to CA and everything just seemed right. I still had no idea where our relationship was going because we knew a long distance thing would be difficult to have. I then applied to Pharmacy School and it just happened to be that I got accepted in WA. So then we were able to see each other a lot more and spend summers together. Shortly after I graduated we got engaged and married. It was a very long process but always meant to be. I just think its funny now that online dating and meeting people is just something a lot of people do now. All my friends thought I was crazy back then.

So my due date is March 10th. It has been very difficult not telling anyone about it. The only people that know is our parents and you girls. We want to wait until the 2nd trimester. Last time we told a couple of our close friends and I think it was more difficult knowing other people knew about the miscarriage. They didnt know what to say to me so we would not want to go through with that if that ever happened.

I'll be thinking of you girls... lots of baby dust

Morning ladies!

So glad to see you Dree!!! I understand being busy for sure. It sounds like everything went well with your appt. Thank you for taking such good notes! It is good to know what lies ahead for us - whenever that may be. I am so incredibly happy for you and Court being able to go to a specialist and get the help that you need!

Can't wait to hear your DH story, Dree!

Cute story about you and your DH, Lisette. It is amazing how many weddings we go to these days with folks who met online, and it seems like everything else just fell perfectly in line :) And just think, you will be welcoming a new baby in just a few months -- so happy for you two! It isn't too much longer for that second trimester - and I'm sure you will have so many friends and family ready to share your joy and excitement.

I'm kind of bummed out today. My temp dipped below the coverline yesterday - which didn't worry me but so much... but I had the same temp today. I know that I really start feeling PMS about a week ahead of time - and I guess now I can see why. I just can't stop crying b/c we just can't even go to a specialist right now - I can't even go get my hormonal levels checked - I just don't understand why none of this can be covered by insurance. I know that I've said that we would be ok with just my bf's salary, but we are not rich. The more and more I look at how much even the initial testing is going to cost (>$1000), I don't know that we can even do it. :'( And the IUIs (approx. $700 a procedure or more) or IVF ($3,000 to $7,000 ea. procedure) - I'm just really, really low today. The next person that wants to talk about how great the health system is in the US, I might just punch them in the face.

Hope all is well with yall... sorry to be so negative... I just don't know what I can do right now, and I'm scared that I can't do anything :'(

Oh Mis, my heart goes out to you and aches for you. I don't know what it's like to be told my health insurance doesn't cover things, but I do know the feeling of desperation. It's the worst feeling in the word to feel like you want, need, deserve this to work and there's just nothing in the entire world that can make it happen for you. :( I'm sorry you're feeling this way, and I'm even more sorry you feel like your cycle buddies are either pregnant or have insurance. No matter what, we're here for you.

If it's any condolence, I had a new all time low tonight. My H (not deserving the 'dear') and I were at the beach, enjoying dinner and a bonfire....we had a conversation about adoption, which I was relieved to hear he was more open to than he's been in the past.

Well, after that conversation, I said that if, after fertility treatments failed, we found out we couldn't adopt a baby, I would probably just go into the deepest of depression and never get out of it. My whole body just oozes the need to be a mom and if I can't, I'd probably just get fat in bed and never get out and would wish I'd die.

My H literally, seriously, looked at me and said, "Well, how is that any different from now?"

REALLY?!?!?!? REALLY?!?!?! I want to fly away from this island and be far, far away from this person I love, but despise. How can he say something like that?

: _ _ _ (

I guess we all cry for separate, yet related reasons.

Wishing you all a better night than the one I just had.

xo

So sorry, Court. I wish I was there to give you a hug, buy you a beer (or a few shots), and give your dh a swift kick in the hind-parts.

Guys need to know, sometimes all a women wants to do is vent her feelings - and all they need to do in return is give you a hug, tell you they love you, and let you know that you can get through this - whatever the outcome. But, let's be honest, men aren't that smart ;)

At least the conversation started out good, right? It is really good that he is open to the possibility of adoption. That is HUGE!

Try and think positive, Court. If things worked this month, your little poppy already getting cozy :) It is so very, very possible.

All I keep thinking is that tomorrow my temp will miraculously go up again, and there will be some hope. It is 12:30am right now - officially 37 yrs old now... We just have so little time... :(

Sorry you had such a bad night, Court. I'm thinking about you - I have all of you in my thoughts - and I really, truly enjoy hearing about all of your successes, be it Lisette's bfp or yalls drs appts. It is one place in all of this where there is some hope.

much love to you ladies...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I so very much hope your temp went up this morning. My fingers and toes are crossed. But more importantly, I hope you can enjoy your special day. 37 is a great age. You're still just in your mid-30's, so don't be thinking about the time you have left as being little. If it helps, in my family alone, I all three of my sister-in-laws had babies at 36+. There must be six nephews all from mom's over 37. AND, my cousin just had two healthy babies at 40 and 42. Like I said earlier, we all know that feeling if desperation, but I hope you have a moment of respite from it today.

Eat some ice cream, eat some cake, drink some wine, buy a new outfit, pay someone else to clean your house! It's your day!

Thanks for your helpful words about last night. I know DH didn't mean to hurt me. He feels awful he did. I think you are right, though, when all we need is a hug, they seem to stick their foot in their mouths.

This is why we have each other!

Thanks for the birthday wishes Court! I had a nice relaxing day - which was greatly needed.

Have things with the DH been better?

Well, Dree, I get what you mean about the charting stress! DANG!!! I am more stressed than ever!

I'm just attaching an image and yall tell me what you think -- it has me going bonkers. I've already taken THREE hpt - all bfns... but this charting is going to give me a mild stroke by Friday... let me know if you have any thoughts!

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3dc211

Things are better, thanks. At least he felt genuinely terrible for what he said. I used your words and told him from now on, all I want is a hug and a "You have every right to feel that way" no matter what he really thinks!

As for your chart - and I'm not trying to give you false hope- but hopefully some piece of mind. I think it's fine. It looks quite normal. First, there can be a drop midway through the lp - and yours was only .2 tenths of a drop, which I don't even consider a drop. Second, your temp is way up right now - no AF coming yet. And third, you're comparing it to what was just one day of temping, rather than a general low of the whole 14 days. I wouldn't put too much weight on that one temp.

I know i just started temping again and I'm not the expert, but I've always had what look like 'perfect' charts and my specialist always said they were normal - and my lp has gone up and down by way more than .2. Just in the last 3 days it was 98.1, 97.6, 98.3....it looks like a jagged zigzag line up high after the drop.

I hope that is a little convincing. I don't want you to have a heart attack. Unfortunately your cycles are a little funny, but you know that, so you are mentally in control.

I'm sure you've read it already, but when I first started trying, I read "Taking Charge of Your Fertility", by Toni Weschler. I got a gently used one from amazon for about $12. It not only walks through the whole process, but also offers helpful pictures of CM and examples of charts and things for you to compare to. Whenever something was stumping me in the beginning, the book was helpful. You might want to check it out if you haven't already.

So, I have a good friend and her new husband coming all the way from CA to MA for a wedding and they're wide open to come visit us, but I declined because it's when AF is due. I feel like a bad friend - and I'm sad, too, because I really want to see them. I just don't think I can manage, though. :(

Hope you're all doing well!

Glad things are looking up a bit, Court. Maybe the talk with the dh was good :)

Also, I hope that your week hasn't been too rainy, and you've gotten in some good beach days. I live at the beach, and haven't been able to go ALL week b/c of rain!!! UGH!!! I only have a few more weeks before I have to start work again, and I was looking forward to days lounging at the ocean - boo!!

My bbt chart is all out of whack. The fertilityfriend site tried to change my O date b/c of the crazy spikes and dips. I should start AF in 2 days though, and it feels like that is definitely going on. UGH! Thanks for the book suggestion - it has been purchased and I should have it in 2 days :)

On a positive note, the bf has noticed that this month has been particularly hard b/c of the late (if any) ovulation, the crazy charting crap, and the cancelled specialist appt. So, he told me to go ahead and book the venue for our Cinco de Mayo nuptials in 2014 :) He hasn't officially asked and there is no ring, but I've now been giving carte blanche to plan. Plus, I'm sure he is going to be creative about the engagement, which has me excited. I'm so glad that he has given me something else to keep my mind on and to help me from obsessing about our ttc issues.

How are you feeling this month, Court? Still in you think? Have you tested yet? I am really hoping for you this month :)

Any additional dr news, Dree?

Lisette, how is everything going with you?