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Update :)

I haven't updated since our failed FET cycle because I know everyone is going through their own s%$*, so I didn't want to just be posting one negative JE after another, but I know I care about my friend's updates, so I will add my own.

AF finally showed up about 6 days after I stopped the PIO injections. I thought it would be faster because my blood test showed my progesterone dropping pretty quickly, but my body likes to be difficult. She hung around a bit longer than normal, but has since gone. Chad and I will be trying naturally this cycle, but not with much effort.

We decided when we got our BFN this cycle that we were finally going to share our journey with family and friends. Thus far, we had kept this entire process to ourselves, but after the miscarriage and just flat out negative, we decided that we couldn't handle it alone anymore. We both have great families, so I wasn't worried about telling them at all. Everyone has been very supportive and loving. My parents were sad that we went through all that alone, but understood our reasoning. We just wanted that one semblance of normalcy that most people get when they get to surprise people with their pregnancy announcement, but I guess that's not how it's supposed to go for us. It has been a great weight removed from our shoulders, having this huge secret out in the open. I still feel a little weird talking about it openly, but I think that's just because I'd conditioned myself to not slip up. I told my mom I like to talk about it when I want to talk about it, but I don't like to be asked for updates all the time. She understood.

I saw my doctor last Monday. I decided that I was going to grill him since I had better control of my emotions this time. I asked him to go over everything with me; my blood work, my miscarriage panel, tests that could be done, why our embryos may have been bad, what we can do differently, and I even asked him about old wives tales that may or may not work. When we went over the blood work, he told me that he does not think I have PCOS (which another doctor had diagnosed me with, and I disagreed), and he cannot find any obvious reason why I would not be able to carry. He thinks we just had bad luck with our two embryos, but still feels like we will be successful. He does not think it is necessary to do the PGS testing on our embryos based on my age, blood work and history, and he also doesn't think the uterine receptivity testing is necessary because I've already had a successful implantation. I was glad because I'm sure both of those tests are very expensive. Next cycle, I am going to stay on the same protocol, including the special folate and baby aspirin, but he's going to add Lovenox injections for the first trimester and we're going to transfer two embryos. For some reason Chad and I both feel like this next cycle will finally be our successful cycle. We will see....

We really didn't know when we would be able to do another transfer since we're kind of tapped out, but we've had several offers of "help" from our families, and we are so grateful. Yesterday my mother in law came over with lunch, and right before she left, she sat us down and pulled out a check to cover an entire transfer. We were stunned, and blown away. I cried and cried like a baby, and thanked her through my sobs lol. She cried, and we all hugged. It's was very special and an amazing gift. Thanks to her, we will be doing our next transfer in October, and this time we will have all the love, support and prayers of our family. We feel very blessed, and we're very optimistic about this next cycle.


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20 Comments • 6 years ago


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Oh what an amazing journal entry! I am so happy you told your families although i completely understand why you hadn't so far. When we were trying I would constantly romanticize they idea of our surprise pregnancy announcement and how shocked everyone would be when they found out because they had no idea we were even trying but of course when you make plans God laughs lol Once we finally told our families we also received the financial help we needed to finally be able to afford a round of fertility treatment that i think ultimately led to us finally being able to conceive so even though everyone knew our struggle, it resulted in achieving the goal we had been working towards and that was more worth it in the end i think :) I am so freaking excited that you get to try again!! i was so worried that this would be the end for you and I know in my soul this next time it will work! especially with 2 embryos!!! I am counting down the days until your next transfer!! lots of love always <3


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6 years ago


This post makes me happy! I'm so happy you get to try again and have help! And that you are going to try something different with the lovenox.


Mill

6 years ago


I cried when I read this. Please know we are all behind you here, and now you have an army of support behind you in your family as well.

6 years ago


I started tearing up about 3/4 the way through the 4th paragraph...basically after I read "next cycle". I was hoping u'd get another shot at this, and I truly do think (and hope) that it will all turn out perfect in the end!! I won't mention twins cuz I know how u feel about that ;D , but I am so glad ur opting to go with 2. And what a great MIL u have...it's nice to have a support system, u guys deserve this!

Will be stalking (still) for more updates! Best of luck! xo =))


6 years ago


What a happy update! And what a generous gift. I know the third time will be a charm for you guys!

6 years ago


Oh wow, tears here too...so uplifting. I'm hoping this lands you a surprise natural cycle baby ;)

6 years ago


WOW Renae, i started to get very emotional ready this journal. I am glad that you opened up to your families. your so lucky to have a MIL like that. I feel this is it for you guys. I'm so happy for you both and I will have everything crossed for you xx


User Image Me 36 DH 49 6 Yrs TTC MC last at 6weeks Ectopic at 6-7 weeks Using Homoathic Medicine since July 14

6 years ago


I am so happy for you that you have such a supportive family. It is even more special to have a good relationship with your in-laws, I know I don't and wish I did. That was so sweet of your mother in law. I am praying so hard for you guys.

6 years ago


Awww, you guys are making me tear up! It was really amazing what she did for us. Chad was surprised too, but he said that is what his dad would have wanted, and he's right. His dad passed away a year ago on the 30th. I still feel very relieved that we told our families. We totally think we made the right decision, not only because of the financial help we've received, but just the support and love.

I so so much appreciate all of your support too. I'm not sure I could have gotten through all this and not telling our family, if I hadn't had all of you to lean on. This site and the people I've met over the past three years has meant so much to me.

I continue to hope and pray for each one of you. I know some are done, and some are still trying like me, but each one of us still needs support sometimes. We're going to keep on keepin' on, and cross our fingers, toes and anything else I can get to cross. :)


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6 years ago • Post starter


I am so happy for you that you have such a supportive family. It is even more special to have a good relationship with your in-laws, I know I don't and wish I did. That was so sweet of your mother in law. I am praying so hard for you guys.

6 years ago


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