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Aw, Kristine! I am SO sorry hunny! That is horrible!! Maybe you threatening to leave will wake him up and make him realize that he is being an idiot, and if not, know that he will be so much worse off with out you! If he can't stop drinking beer to have a baby with you (a very small thing to ask might I add) then you deserve SO much better! I know we haven't been chatting too long in the byob threads but what I have gotten to know of you I have loved, you are an amazing person and deserve all the best! If you ever want to chat I am here. (Even if it has nothing to do with ttc!!) I really hope things work out for you sweetie!!

thanks expecting!!! i only wished and prayed it had turned out diffrent,but i know i will SURVIVE. i have too.. i might look into artificial insemination,but i don't know. i cannot believe it has come to this. for me a baby would just turn everything around,in a good way,but alas it is not going to happen. im not a religious person but i think god is punishing me right now and im so angry and frustrated with life in general.. i don't know why or how but i must move on even though it is going to be the hardest thing ive ever done....

Kris,

I haven't been on in awhile and I was looking for you and Sarah yesterday to check in. I know you were having such a hard time getting your husband to understand how important this was to you. And frankly I have the same issues with DH. I think he knows but its always a struggle and I feel for you.

Life is short and if you feel this is important to you and DH isnt willing to accpet that then you need to do whats going to make you happy. I too thought this was important enough for me to leave for so I get it.

Hang in there... perhaps like mine he'll wake the hell up! If not my hope is that you move somewhere nice and warm... thats what I would do..by a beach ..:)

Your story just made me cry I can't imagine the hurt you must be feeling right now.

Whether or not you leave your husband is entirely up to you as only you know the whole story and what you feel in your heart. But one way or another, if you want to have a baby I say you do what you need to do even if it means insemination. I wonder what your husband would do if you told him that you were considering insemination since he isn't helping you? Again, I don't know your situation, only what you said here on this post, so I'm not trying to tell you what to do but just brainstorm some other ideas.

A dear friend of mine never met the right man so she chose insemination and now has two beautiful twins- a boy and a girl. She couldn't be happier. If you feel you need to be a mother then I say do what you must to become a mother.

I don't know if this will help or not and I'm not trying to preach at all; I'm just hoping to encourage and help. In my religion (I'm a muslim), we don't believe that God punishes us with hard times in life. When God puts us through trying situations, it is to make us stronger and to prepare us for something down the road, and so that we can enjoy and appreciate the coming good times better. And, God never gives us more than we can handle.

Again, I hope I haven't sounded preachy or anything. I'm just trying to support you. Remember at all times that you are an amazing woman and you deserve the best in life, including a baby. If you want to message me or anything like that please feel free. In the meantime, I will make extra prayers for you that you may heal from this hurt and make the best decisions for you and your dreams.

thank you every one for you encourgment and kind words again.. i am broken and just can't do it anymore. pooker he won't wake up he has 3 kids so he doesn't give a dam and actions speak louder than words. it is staring me right in the face and i have to deal with it or it will never be fixed... i was soo angry the other day that i threw the phone and broke it. that is not a good sign. its the too little too late syndrome.. i know yrs from now dh will look back and go god what was the big deal and regret it but i will be gone and of course it will be too late. well he has to deal with that not me.. im heart broken as i do love dh but no one said breaking up was easy to do,i will be a screwed up basket case for a yr but i know the hurt will go away and i will survive, just sucks that im 34 and time is running out. i am still going to f.s. on the 14th to see whats up and maybe tlk to him about a.i. but deep down in my heart i know i won't do it as i love dh and only want to have his child... soetimes life throws us curve balls and i have had alot of curve balls thrown at me in my life, just wondering when is it my turn for true happiness,it just never seems to happen

Oh honey! Whatever you decide we will be here for you! But please don't give up on your dreams of having a baby- you will love that baby regardless of who the biological father is. Right now you are hurting so much you may not see that, but please don't give up on that dream. You deserve happiness.

Please message me or anything. If you want someone to talk/cry to I will even give you my phone number.

Here for you

hope you manage to sort something out

aromatherapy...

i, too, can see your frustrations. my dh also likes his beer a little too much. everyday after work he comes home and has at least 6-10 a day, not to get DRUNK, but it's relaxing for him. he has done this for yrs...

i have expressed to him, also, that this VERY MUCH inhibits being able to TTC, but he doesn't take it seriously. i guess he thinks that this is another way of getting him to cut back(as i have been on him to cut back for A LONG TIME). he doesn't understand that it seriously affects TTC. i often get him to read books & info from the internet that talks about this very subject to try to get him to realize, but...

he does want children & supports me when we haven't gotten preg for the last 4 mos, but he doesn't understand ALL the effort i put into TTC.

i, as you are, am 34 and TTC #1 & very worried that after 5 mos. of TTC that something is wrong & it may not happen for me. if my DH doesn't finally realize & agree to cut back on beer, i too will have to make some serious decisions for my life. becoming a mom is something that i've always wanted & i can't imagine that not happening...

so, i'm here for you aromatherapy & can relate to your story...keep me updated &

Aw, hun, I am so sorry. As if ttc isnt difficult enough without having to deal with dh being uninteresting in helping things along. Whatever you decide to do, remember that you are an amazing woman, and will one day be an amazing mom! We are all here for!

Just wanted to give you a little hope....ttc #2 is not so easy right now for me BUT! I met my DH at 36, married at 38 & got pg on our HONEYMOON! and had our beautiful DD 3 days after my 39th bday...so don't lose hope! Even if this marriage does end(& I pray he will come to his senses) the next guy may have super swimmers!! ((hugs))