Secondary Infertility - Aged 35.
<-- These are the faces I make each time I get a and each time ugly AF shows up. I watch people come and go, getting their BFP's, yet I am still waiting. It's been 29 long cycles, I am now on my 30th cycle. My partner is desperate for his own baby and I feel like every month I am letting him down.
I am a YouTuber, and in one of our live pregnancy test videos, he literally cried so hard. I hate seeing what this is doing to him, I hate not being able to do the only thing my body could do - only a few years ago.
I am going to be using this as a journal to blog my emotions, my symptoms and god willing, my very own
Thank you for reading. Looking for cycle buddies!
I have started a blog - www.waitingimpatientlyforourblessing.blogspot.com
Cycle 30 - BFN
Cycle 31 - Currently 1DPO
Cycle 32 (Letrozole & Trigger) - ?
64 Comments • 9 weeks ago • Edited
I've heard from others who use them that dye run can be normal, especially with certain brands. It definitely looks like it's getting darker. I was always told that if it's not as dark or darker than the test line that there could be problems with ovulation. Again, I've never had much success (or patience) with OPKs. I think that if I'm not pregnant by the New Year, I was looking at a wearable fertility monitor again, such as Ava.
7 weeks ago
After reporting yesterday that the dye run on the test I suspect had something to do with my 'high' result. I cheated the system. I re-tested using yesterdays' test. Can you guess what I got? I goy my PEAK.
If I had used this morning's urine, I can bet i'd have gotten another high. I simply inserted yesterdays' test back into the holder this morning. The dye cleared significantly overnight - enough that the monitor could read it as a peak.
Interestingly though, my BBT has dipped.
7 weeks ago • Post starter
Look at how much that test had cleared over night.
I'm not going to lie that yesterday I felt so defeated that me and the DF had a cry together that night. I hadn't got a positive on an OPK or this monitor. I was worried that without a positive I was not ovulating. I'm still not 100% sure but this peak made me feel a lot better.
I asked on a few FB groups if you could ovulate without getting a LH surge - the answer came back no.
But on the same page, an anovulatory cycle I know the period is late or absent altogether (I own my own FB group so I have good knowledge). I am regular - extremely regular. I just don't know if you can be regular and just not ovulate.
I know that about 6 months ago, I'd have severe O pains, test and get my blaring +. I haven't had those pains for a few months BUT on Saturday night I had those pains back! I did OPK's and by that time they'd already faded from 2pm when they were most darkest. That's why I knew the Sunday morning CBAFM was wrong to not give me a peak. Hopefully I am ovulating on my own. I don't know. I'm hoping my BBT will confirm but it's hard as it's dipped as I am or rather should be 1DPO.
7 weeks ago • Post starter
Way to go! Woohoo!! I really hope that you achieve your this cycle! That would be amazing!
I have never have really tracked BBT as I would ALWAYS forget to take it at the same time each day I believe I had an anovulatory cycle about 3 cycles ago since my period came less that 21 days after my other one (I'm pretty sure my OBGYN said that a very short cycle can fall under that criteria, too). I've always assumed that regular cycles mean that you are ovulating on your own pretty regularly, but I'm no expert! But like you, I'm usually right on target every cycle - around 30 days (give or take a day or two). Let me know how it goes as you progress into your TWW - I always hate this timeframe!
7 weeks ago
anglys19, BBT is hard work, it's also super frustrating! I'm super glad though that a somewhat normal sleeping pattern has been established for me because I am an insomniac and that made BBT'ing even harder. I'd usually go to bed 5-7am! I'm now going to bed between 9pm and midnight and waking 6-8am. Much better.
I have to admit, I always thought that regular AF = regular O. Usually believe that annovulatory = absent or delayed AF. I'm still no further forward in finding out if that's true or not...
That monitor is the Clearblue Advanced Fertility Monitor. It can do OPK's and HPT's (Purple = OPK, Blue = Pregnancy test). It will only allow you to test 3 days before AF. I used it again to give it a second chance, but it missed my peak so I'm not overly keen on these. BUT, the OPK strips did not turn positive for me - the monitor peaked, so that's good, right?
I'm 6DPO although FF and Femometer think I'm only 5DPO. FF hasn't given me cross hairs so I've manually entered them myself. We BD/AI on O-2, O, O+2. I know that O-2 is usually the most successful.
I have no real symptoms of pregnancy at all, I'm not feeling hopeful whatsoever. AF is due next Thursday - I have a short LP (11 Days) and she usually shows on 12DPO. I'm trying to busy myself with wedding preparations to take my mind off TTC. We've requested birth certificates and, depending on finaces, may well get married before Christmas. I've already bought my shoes and a veil. He's got his suit jacket and trousers. I also dangerously made an offer on ebay for 6 CB pregnancy tests which was then accepted.
Who is testing soon? I'm going to try and wait until Tuesday 20th.
I think I can establish via my BBT that my ovulations are weak, and as a result of that my progesterone is also pretty darn weak.
I'm next going to try another soya isoflavones cycle and take the maximum (200mg per day, for 5 days) on Days 3-7 and try to boost those hormones. Failing that I'm going to try Letrozole and possibly, a Letrozole and trigger cycle.
6 weeks ago • Edited • Post starter
@Miss Pug, my provider put me on inositol 2 years ago, which is a supplement. I went from unable to get pregnant after 3 years of TCC to pregnant 3xs in 6 months. I had two early losses most likely due to a clotting disorder that was discovered via a blood test at the RE. She put me on baby aspirin and the third pregnancy went to term. I have a beautiful one year old daughter now.
So if you're looking at supplements or vitamins, I highly recommend inositol! No side effects and lots of benefits. I still take it to regulate my cycles now. It is most commonly given to those with PCOS, but you don't have to have PCOS to benefit from it.
If I could go back, I'd have seen a RE much earlier. I made an appointment early on, but cancelled it. I guess I felt embarrassed? Like maybe I was going to find out nothing was wrong and waste their time or I felt like I hadn't put in my "dues" yet of trying for a really long time.
Best of luck
6 weeks ago
LadyMae, thanks for your reply. Can you get inositol in the UK and without prescription? I'll look into it.
I'm 8DPO. I stupidly got my hopes up last night due to a test looking reasonably positive. It's dried like an absolute pig though. It's definitely an evap. I'll attach a photo to this post of how it looks this morning, god knows why there's so many little dots on it. It's very clearly an evap but last night it was super convincing.
Not much else to report, apart from this morning's BBT dropped a little.
6 weeks ago • Post starter
I need to vent - please just ignore this post, I just feel like I need to get it off my chest before my head goes BANG.
So, 2 days ago I joined a group on Facebook, it was a BBT charting group. I thought this will be helpful to give my knowledge on and to ask for advice regarding my own chart. So, very quickly I was accepted into the group. I noticed that they needed a moderator so thought I'd apply. I sent screenshots of the 5 long years I've been BBT'ing as proof I knew roughly what I was on about.
I was accepted. I then became an administrator of said group.
I noticed that there were no files, so I copied and pasted from my own group on FB (POAS Party, TTC & Pregnancy Support) files such as how to take your BBT, and uploaded a lot more information to their group which will be useful to others as there was absolutely nothing on the group but members posts. No informative information or anything.
I got on really well with the admin, but the other moderator and I seemed to have pretty quickly locked horns. I posted my BBT chart and said how annoyed I was that another charting group criticised my chart and my O day, when all I'd asked was what did they think to my temperature pattern. The admin agreed with me, the other moderator - did not.
I shared photo after photo of my OPK's and that my first near positive OPK was mid-day CD15. Knowing that you will ovulate 12-36 hours after the first positive - she thought it was absolutely not possible that I ovulated 11 hours later when I had O pains. She did not understand, nor want to understand that when I have O pains, that's when I usually do ovulate. Especially pains that bad. I've been TTC for a LONG time, it's been 26 months THIS time, but my last baby also took 2 years. I know my body and I know when I ovulate(d). She seemed to think I ovulated 4 days later (according to my BBT) and that isn't when my body ovulates. I've been tracking now for close to 5 years and I always ovulate CD14-17. Never as late as CD19, ALTHOUGH, in May 2015 after my MMC, it was CD24. That is the only exception.
I quickly deleted all my content that I'd spent ages doing for their group and wrote to the admin and explained that I had left the group.
I'm sorry to go on and on - but I've honestly felt so shitty. Made to feel like I don't know my own body, or what I'm talking about. In my group I have helped a lot of women get pregnant, and over 400 of those lovely members in my group notice the files I've typed up, the albums I've added and I advise them as best as I can. I never undermine them and I just wouldn't dream of doing that to anyone else - whether I was just a member of that group, or an administrator.
Anyway, here's my BBT chart as of today. I am 8DPO and suffered a teeny dip. I've cross-checked this with previous cycles and notice a very similar pattern with June 2020's chart. Also suffered a 8DPO dip, went up on 9DPO then started falling for AF. I'll put that comparison in a following post.
6 weeks ago • Post starter
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