Community post

Sinrap: That's awesome that you have a family friend that is an RE! I'm sure they all want to do a great job and get results but I'm sure she is really invested for you. Maybe consider trying it at least once prior to relocating? Also, I'm not sure how far away you are moving but would it be possible to maybe travel back for a few days to do the IVF? I have never tried IVF so I'm not sure what all is involved in the process yet!

Lolo1176: I hope you are doing ok...

Brandy257: I might try it at least once before relocating. Still discussing with my hubby. Travelling for this will not be feasible as it's gonna be really far. It'll turn out to be very expensive. I think the long protocol takes close to 6 weeks and short might be similar to IUI.

Lolo1176: Thinking of u...Did u go for your beta today?

Thank you both for your sympathies, support and prayers. Sorry I have been MIA. Just giving an update... Got my blood work done today and it's official, I did miscarry on Monday. And to make matters worse, we can't do another IUI until I have 2 periods. I did ask what would happen if we had sex and I got pg before then and she said to at least wait until I have 1 period but suggested we use foam and condoms til after the 2 periods. (I so don't think so...even DH is like no way.) We will wait till I have at least one period. I have a follow up blood test for next Thursday (the day before my bday) and a pelvic exam with Dr set for early Dec.

My step kids are here this weekend too...which is really hard for me right now. Even on Tuesday my brothers GF and baby stopped by for a visit at the office...granted I can't blame them for insensitivity because they had no idea the night before I had had a mc or that I was even PG but still it feels like the universe is out to get me or something. And I feel like even though I have cried every night and every time I have had a moment to myself, I feel like I haven't really had a time to wallow. Hopefully Sunday I will get that chance.

Had no idea how heartbreaking this would be... even this early on. I know I should take comfort in the fact that I was able to even get PG and in some ways I do but right now I find it extremely unfair and can't help but feel like it is partially my fault. DH keeps saying he doesn't believe it's my fault but if I had called up as soon as I had seen a BFP then I would have been on Progesterone pills right away then maybe I would have at least had a chance or at least felt I had done everything I could think of to have a sticky bean. But no, I kept hearing my doctors voice in my head saying wait till 16/17 DPO and if no AF then call. Those days landed on Sat/Sun. I should've called sooner. But by the time I had called I had to wait to get in for the blood test and wait until the doctor could review my tests the following Monday when it was obviously too late to make my baby stick.

Sinrap: I agree with brandy257...that is so awesome you have a family friend as your RE. It's not easy to relocate. When I moved up to WI to be with my DH the only thing I had to change really was my doctors (there was no way I was driving an hour for an appt) and even then I have only done my OBGYN which got me to start seeing a FS. I didn't mind doing that because I finally got to pick the hospital I wanted to be a part of and got to pick a much better doctor than I had before. But I can see that being hard for you leaving your friend and RE and trying to find someone to replace that person. Hopefully you are successful before you move, at least with the getting pregnant part.

brandy257: That is tough to try and find a new job right now and believe me I know how hard it is to be stuck in something you are dying to get out of. When I worked in retail I couldn't wait for the opportunity to get out. And with TTC on top of it and trying to save money. I hear ya. I really thought this was going to be our month. But I guess not. Now not really expecting it until Jan...which really sucks because that's the start of the calendar year which is the start of the insurance year as well. Which also means IUI won't be fully covered until we meet our deductible. And to top off everything else my hours at work got cut for at least a few months. Not sure if I can afford to do the IUI next year...even though DH is determined and said he would pay for it. I don't see how he can afford it either. Guess we will see what happens. The only bright side is at least I can drink during the holidays. I am just depressed because here comes another bday and another set of holidays still not PG.

I just can't believe it has taken me this long to get pregnant and now to stay pregnant.

Hope you both have a good weekend.

Lolo1176: I'm sorry you had to go through this . No words can console you now but trust me, crying and grieving will help you come out of it faster. I was doing that in solitude whenever I could...I did the same mistake with progesterone as my hubby was travelling as usual and I waited till I was 5 weeks pg to even test and later kept blaming myself...that's natural...the only thing we can do now is be extra cautious & do it right next time. If I'm not wrong, you can try after one period as it was a natural m/c rather than a medically managed one. I was ready to try after a month because I felt so empty but I actually started after my second period. Take care

Awwwww Lolo1176, I am so sorry to hear that. I cannot speak from experience, but it breaks my heart that you have to go through this and are blaming yourself. You were only listening to the doctors orders, and next time you can tell them early regardless of what they say! I am thinking about you and feeling for you.

Sinrap: Thank you. I almost wish that the doctors would be more on top of the whole progesterone thing then testing you once after you O just to see if you O'd. But I guess I understand and now that they know this is a possibility with me then I pray they will make sure that I am on it right away? Or at least as soon as I am PG. My DH is having a hard time believing that if the progesterone was higher then maybe we would have had a better chance in staying PG. Maybe he just doesn't want me to blame myself but I can't help it. I know Progesterone plays a key part in staying pregnant. At least now I know that in the future if I am lucky enough to get PG again then I will make sure I call as soon as I see a +HPT and not wait a couple more days.

brandy257: Thank you.

I think another reason why I am so down is because my bday is Friday and I am going to be 38. I was really hoping and praying that I would at least be PG by now. I hate getting older, especially now. It feels like it is never going to happen. So here I get to go through yet another bday and another holiday season of family members asking how the baby making is going and if we are PG yet. I think the only thing that is making me feel even a tad better is that now that I have to wait until possibly Jan to do the IUI...praying that it happens again for us at that time...I can then wait till we are about 4 months along before telling anyone. Because after Christmas the next time we have a big family gathering is Easter. And I want to try and tell both families at around the same time. I am so glad that I only told 2-3 people and not the families. But I also know that now if I get PG I am going to be too scared to share it with anyone until I am almost half way there or clearly into the 2nd trimester. Another small plus is at least I can drink on Thanksgiving and throughout the holidays. Because I think drinking might be the only way I can get through this holiday season.

Lolo1176 I feel for you, I really do! If you need any support through the holidays you can message me anytime. I can't imagine what you are going through. Also, just a suggestion, but my RE had me on progesterone beginning day 14 and then if I am officially not pregnant I stop, but must continue until a new cycle starts for sure. Can you maybe suggest that you do the same?

I know my situation isn't exactly the same but I feel like I have lost all hope until we can save up money for IVF and even then I just don't have a great feeling about it all. I too had so hoped to be able to deliver good news to our families over the holidays but of course no such luck. I want to cry at the mention of someone's kids or all of my friends and acquaintances who are pregnant, whether it be on purpose or an accident. It is going to be a tough holiday that is for sure. Plus I have a sister in law (on my husbands side), she is 23 and accidentally got pregnant so they got married. So in addition to seeing her sweet baby boy (which I do enjoy), she is constantly trying to give me advice on how to get pregnant and somehow seems to think that we aren't trying hard enough (frustrates me to no end). She suggests I download an ovulation app.. I have told her we are way past that but still I have to hear the same thing everytime I see her. It is all I can do not to snap or bawl uncontrollably! I'm just going to try to change the subject when it comes up. At this point, it's all I can do!

Hi Ladies,

How are you ladies doing? How was your Thanksgiving?

Sorry I have been so distant. I needed some time to get through the last cycle. But so far it looks like I O'd pretty much on time (only a day or 2 early) and AF showed up on Sunday which was a day early. I had an appt set up for Monday which I had to reschedule for Friday because AF showed up a day early but I had a feeling that was going to happen. AF is so far somewhat normal except OMG the cramps were terrible on Sunday and Monday. It kept me home from work on Monday but I was able to blame the weather on that one...sleet storm. Yesterday cramps weren't bad and today I have some slight cramps but that could be due to a McDonald's breakfast my brother bought me this morning...lol...so who knows. AF is only spotting today so this AF, except for the cramps and it being just slightly heavier this month seems to be pretty much normal. So YAY to that.

I do have to admit though Sunday when AF arrived I didn't realize how hard I was going to take it. I mean I wanted AF to show and yet I was a huge emotional mess. DH said he wasn't surprised by it but I was. It felt like all the months emotions were still there but sorta like a release too...if that makes sense. Now I feel ready to try again. Even though the RN told us the doc likes to have his patients wait 2 periods we are going to try this month. Everywhere I have researched nowhere does it say you have to wait 2 periods unless there is a specific medical reason behind it. Mostly I have only seen that it's for dating purposes. So if on Friday the doc says to wait one more period I think I will lie (even though I suck at lying) and just say we won't have sex during what I believe is my fertile window...But I can't go another month with no intimacy/sex. And if we get lucky then we get lucky. And even though it's early I think we will start on Sunday. There is a very good chance this won't be our month anyways...DH is back on nights and trying to schedule BD'ing around his schedule is always a pain in the butt...I think that is why the IUI seemed to work.

I still haven't been in much of a Christmas'y holiday mood but have been watching Christmas movies and hoping to get myself into the Christmas spirit a bit more. I doubt we will get our Christmas cards out this year...DH isn't to thrilled about that but we have pretty much run out of time and I just don't have the money to do it this year.

The only thing that is making me feel better is now if we get lucky this month or next we can try to keep it quiet until the end of March or at least by Easter. Hopefully by then I will be at least 2 1/2 or 3 months PG and I will feel better sharing the news then.

brandy257: Have you come up with a saving plan for the IVF yet? I am so sorry your SIL keeps trying to give advice. I am to the point that if someone tries to give me advice I am about to tell them...we changed our minds and enjoy our sleep and time to ourselves and sorta rub it in their faces that we have the best life ever! But I know I can't lie and it would come out that way. I just tell them that we are still trying but for now we are enjoying life as we know it and still sorta rub it in their faces a bit... I just pray no one asks this holiday season because I might lose it and snap. I still haven't told anyone in my family...the only people who know besides the ladies in these forums are a couple friends and DH, obviously. As long as I can get past New Years then I can avoid everyone for awhile...well, except for my brother because of work. But everyone else I can avoid. Maybe just try to avoid being alone with your SIL.

Well, I just wanted to update you ladies on how I was doing. I hope you ladies are doing well. Hang in there!

hi Ladies! Sorry I'm so late in posting but things have been so hectic with work and the holidays!

Lolo1176: I'm sorry to hear that you had a rough time of it. I hope you ended up getting into the Christmas spirit at least a little. How was your Christmas? And on a positive note, I hope this month brings the best of luck to you!

I had a great thanksgiving but honestly it didn't even feel like Christmas this year ha ha. My Mom had her dinner the weekend prior (thank goodness) because my husband and My Mom both got super sick on Christmas Eve!! So we couldn't attend his sisters dinner and my sister just decided to cancel hers since none of us could be there. I think this is the first Christmas ever that I actually lost weight instead of gaining it! DH is starting to feel better so that is good. I am praying I don't catch it because the only days I have off literally are Christmas Day and New Year's Day lol. The good news is, it is finally slowing down at work so it's not like I'm working too hard for this week and next ;)

On the baby front, really no news. We are saving everything we can but it's probably going to take a while to get that much saved. For right now, we are just chilling and trying not to worry too much about it (easier said than done). I am 8 dpo right now and can already feel AF on her way and am already spotting so I know I'm definitely out this month. Started spotting at 7dpo last month; honestly I feel like my body just gives up before it even has a chance to do anything. I'm not going to get my hopes up for anything anymore!

Anyway, I hope you ladies have a very safe and happy New Year!!! Try to enjoy and Lolo1176 - please keep us posted!

Hi Ladies,

Happy New Year!!!

Sorry it took me a bit to reply.

brandy257: I did finally get into some Christmas Spirit.

Sadly, early this week my end of 2014 didn't end on a good note for me and has been a very stressful week. I work for my dad...have been for the past 10-12 years and just found out that things aren't going well and we are running out of money. And if we don't get good news soon by either the end of next week or within at least 3 months I may be out of a job. We still plan on TTC'ing and hoping for the best. DH does say that if this isn't our month that my job struggles doesn't change our decision to keep going forward with TTC. Which I am very happy to hear. He also says that if this month isn't our month we will still do the IUI. He knows that if we stop now I am running out of years to keep trying. I just hate not knowing what my future may hold when things already aren't looking good.

My symptoms aren't much to go on at the moment...except for AF not arriving yet and I could've sworn she was going to the other day along with a BM...my boobs hurt, I feel tired and emotional (but that could be from the stress of the job and that I didn't go to bed until late), my lower back has been still a bit achy and my skin feels oily and have had a couple breakouts. All these symptoms could be related to the stress I have been under but who knows...only time will tell. In theory AF isn't due until Sunday Jan 4. So I guess we will see what happens.

Could really use some prayers that things with my job turn around for the better.

Have a great weekend!