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Hi Ladies,

Thanks and I would say I this weekend as worried as I was I tried to make it a relaxing one.

But sadly, I started spotting earlier today...before noon. Not sure what to think. If it was AF, she would have started not long after the initial spotting. It's not sticking to the pad, I only see it when I wipe and it looks like old blood and not a lot of it. My cramps are even lighter than the last couple days. I pray it's only breakthrough bleeding or implantation bleeding. Whatever it is I feel like tomorrow can't come fast enough. I always look forward to the weekends but this weekend couldn't end fast enough.

I had a good cry earlier until I realized what it could be. Now I just feel emotional.

Hope you are both having a good weekend! Please keep your fingers crossed for me and say a prayer.

Hi Girls!

Well, I talked to the nurse today and they put me on Progesterone pills. I take 1 pill twice a day. And then get my blood retaken Friday morning. She said that the spotting is normal and not to stress over it. I did take another PG test this morning and it was negative with more of a dark reddish blood that looked more like old blood with a hint of reg blood than the brown I had yesterday. But she said unless I bleed enough to soak a pad within an hour then not to worry that this could be normal breakthrough bleeding. She also said that I shouldn't worry about he negative HPT test because my levels were so low that it might not pick up on it. But the blood test showed a positive so I take the progesterone and hope for the best.

I am having some light cramping but from my understanding that is considered normal too. So that these progesterone pills work. I already started taking it. Thankfully these are by mouth and not a suppository. They are cute...they look like little pink round eggs.

Lolo1176: I'm glad they were able to put your mind at ease, I am sure it is stressful but just hang tight and let the progesterone do it's thing. And I agree, a pill would be awesome... those suppositories suck lol. I'll be thinking about you and sending sticky vibes your way!

Well.. AF showed for me around lunchtime on Friday. I called the fertility clinic and she said she doesn't want to keep wasting my time with IUI and that IVF will be needed. Since neither of our insurance covers anything fertility related, and we've already dished out a good bit for the IUI procedures, we are just going to have to start saving and hope it happens naturally in the meantime. I think that is a very slim chance but I'm trying not to give up hope. So for now we will certainly keep "trying" but basically out for a bit until we can get some extra cash saved up.

Lolo1176: My doctor gives progesterone by default after iui and I guess it's very important at this stage. Hope that controls your spotting or I think they'll increase your dose. I've heard spotting is common in first trimester. & for you...take care...

Brandy257: I'm in the same boat as you. We are also going to do the same thing but I should do something before I relocate. Clueless for now. I seriously hope it clicks for you naturally. You never know when it'll happen or see if u can try one more iui if you're comfortable doing it again because one can do upto 6 IUIs. But again without insurance it's seriously hard. Let's & .

Well, it looks like I had a miscarriage last night. (TMI ALERT) I started bleeding a bit more and when I wiped this deep red, thick, stretchy, glob of somewhat stickiness came out of me with a white see through mucussy looking something was attached to it. It was definitely not normal and it was a lot of it. I didn't know I was supposed to save it. After reading online and doing some research they recommend to save it. I don't feel pregnant either...just some slight cramps, like you get when AF shows. And even during this process the cramps weren't that terrible which made everything so confusing. Since this happened last night I called the doctors early this morning. They said it's definitely suspicious of a m/c. I am to continue taking the progesterone pills till Friday and go in as soon as they open for a blood test. Then we will know for sure where my levels are at. Which is why I am not fixing my account yet to start over because I don't know where I am at.

I asked the nurse when she called if we were still able to TTC and she said they usually want us to wait to have a couple normal periods before we continue. So I basically took that as no IUI for probably 2 months. But if we want to continue trying on our own that would be up to us.

I feel so numb and confused. Sitting here at my desk at work, fighting a headache and wishing I was home curled up in my DH's arms.

Thank you ladies for all your prayers and support. But I pretty much know what Fridays results are going to be.

So sorry lolo1176....wait for your blood test as it's still indefinite...miracles happen...hope that little bean is still safe inside but I'm really sad after reading this...meanwhile u can check using a hpt....this journey is full of shocks and surprises... for you....

Awww Lolo1176 I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. That is more of an emotional roller coaster than I've yet been on but I'm thinking about you and hoping against hope that it wasn't a miscarriage. My heart is breaking for you but if it is the case, you too now know that it is a possibility for you so that should give you hope for the future. Although I know that probably doesn't make you feel any better right now. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you until Friday.

Sinrap - When are you relocating? And yes, we could try another IUI but as she recommended not to, I just feel like it would be a waste of money that we could put toward IVF. I'm very disappointed but also so tired of the emotional roller coaster every month. I'm relieved not to be getting my hopes up this month and getting let down again.

The one thing that really stinks about this situation is that I am trying extremely hard to find another job (cannot handle the stress anymore!). And we probably won't have the money right away anyway but it's not like I can start a brand new job and be like, hey I need a few days off to go to Maryland and try to get pregnant! Ugh I'm not sure what to do.

Hi brandy257,
We'll mostly relocate in January. So I have very little time to decide
Again my AF is late because of the progesterone shots I've been taking. My clinic gives that because I've previously had a m/c. Sometimes taking a break helps. I was also going through a tough time when I was working and that's why I had to resign...I can totally relate to your situation...hope you find a good one soon...trouble comes in more ways than one for us...seriously I feel like fast-forwarding this phase of my life...never thought having a baby would consume every aspect of my life

Sinrap - Yes, January is very soon!! Would you be close to a facility that does IVF when you relocate? Or is it that you just don't want to start over with a new RE?

I dream of resigning but I just don't want to do that until I know I have a new job. I feel so stuck and stressed and then TTC on top of everything is too much. We are actually trying to buy a small tavern (close to our house) and we have a lot of money tied up in it. If I resign, then I don't want it to ruin our chances with the loan because I know they are taking my commission into consideration. I just sometimes feel like it's more than I can handle. It sounds like you know what I am going through. I'm sorry you had to go through this too!

Trying to have a baby really does consume your life. I can totally relate to that. I can hardly even look at facebook anymore - I know of three different people that accidentally got pregnant, let alone that all of my friends are having babies. I am just so depressed and my work is definitely suffering! Ugh my stomach is constantly in knots..

True Brandy257!! Guess we are in the same boat most of the time
Even I've had that feeling but I wouldn't want anyone to go through this...I'm afraid I'll waste too much time in searching and settling for a new RE. The one I'm seeing now is my family friend and she takes very good care of me...That's the main reason I think it would be better to get it over with before I leave. And as u said it's not having a baby, it's trying to have a baby that's consuming every breath. Was I trying to be very optimistic?? I was actually talking to my brother while I was typing.

All our future plans keep revolving around TTC and it's so hard to make decisions. Since I've been in your shoes, I can understand. My hubby said he was even ready to continue in the same position if I wanted to stay here for some more time but i don't want him to lose a good opportunity which will add value to his profile. So I said I'm ready to relocate & trying my best to conceive soon. If it's meant to be, it will happen.

For some people it's so easy....don't know what we did to deserve all this....one of my friends has two boys and she aborted thrice because she didn't want more kids....my heart was breaking after hearing that and don't feel like talking to her anymore....I've even thought of staying away from all the social networks though I'm happy for my friends....maybe I'm losing my mind!!!