Community post

Joy - I totally remember that thread. Glad you started it back up.

My confession for the thread.

- I hate when people tell me I'm not pregnant yet, because I'm stressing about it too much and if I would "just relax" it would happen. Just because you are able to pop out a kid every 2 years does not make you an expert!!! Maybe there is something physically wrong that has not been diagnosed yet. Some of us are healthy and it just takes a little longer for us to get pregnant.

- I hate how uncomfortable people are around you when the topic comes up. They never allow you to vent without unloading their opinions as to why your not pregnant yet. Hey just listen to me gripe about my frustrations. I'm not expecting you to diagnosis me or fix the problem. (unless your that kind of doctor of course)

ohhhhhh so glad this is back!!!!!!!! how bout it will happen, my friend so and so got pg at 40 2 months after trying, well F YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im younger than her and guess what i have endo and have a 10% chance of it happening get it through your god dam head that it WON"T just happen otherwise I wouldn't have had been TRYING for the last 2 yrs you dumbass.. the girls at work know my situation and this one just pisses me off when one of them says this.. What are you not hearing??? I SAID 10% CHANCE NOT 100% CHANCE and if it is soooooooo easy then why did i have to have a hsg,lap surgery and effing lupron now to HELP!!!!!!

thank you expecting for bringing this one back!!!! I LOVE YOU.. I can be negative once again and my girls here understand where i'm coming from..

yea!! just what I need!! for those of you who know me from other threads, I am a firm believer in positive thoughts, fame of mind etc go alot towards positive things happening. I'm like that now because I used to get so depressed and reclusive when i let negativity take over me.

BUT, even through the positivity, there still things that PISS ME OFFFFFFFFF and I always feel better after a vent!

so............

How dare my mother in law say to me "welcome back, (I had been to the uk for three weeks) hope you had a good time now its time to get pregnant"

WTF!!! Does she think I chose to have an ectopic pregnany last year because it didnt fit in with my schedule and now is a better time? Does she think its a choice like that, that I can just click my fingers, open my legs and poomph, i'm pregnant... I have already made comments to her that normal people would interpret as "back off I dont want pregnangy to be a topic of conversation" but I dont think she gets it and if she says any more comments I might explode at her... She means no harm I'm sure but I would never make any comments about pregnangy to someone who had lost one recently unless they bought it up to talk about.

And how depressing it is when i walk back from the sushi place i got my lunch and I count THREE pregnant bellies in about 4 paces! GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

and grrr to all the comments already made, totally agree!!!

Hi ladies!!!

Oh I just love it!! The best part is I even already know you all from other thread!! I am so glad you all decided to join me! I was worried this thread would flop and I would have nowhere to vent!

krunchie (it's Katie, right?) - OMG I can't even believe your MIL said that!! That is so rude especially after a pregnancy loss! And as if it is just that simple... grrr!!

aroma (sorry your name is escaping me at the moment, its been too long!)- Oh sweetie I have miss you!!! I love you too! Ugh, I cant stand when people say stuff like"so-and-so got pg at 40 in like 2 mos so it will happen for you" REALLY? Are you trying to rub our noses in the face that some even older than us got pg that easily???? C'mon thats just cruel!

Becca - UGH! "Stop trying so hard and it will happen"... that is like nails on a chalk board!! REALLY if you think that is true you really are clueless, so dont give me your advice! My Mom says it often, I cant buy opks when I am with her cause she rolls her eyes at me... hello my cycle is not regular, without them my changes would be even lower than they already are!!
And I agree, when we bring up pregnancy or anything people always try to come up with a fix.... "have you tried this" "have you tried that" "Maybe you're not eating properly" or "maybe you're stressing too much" GRRR!!!

OH I JUST LOVE YOU LADIES!!!

Some new ones...

- My "friend" who had a baby a few months ago likes to give me advice or warnings for when I have a baby... "well when you have a baby you will understand" "you can never have enough blankets" (um, hi, I have more blankets for my baby who isnt even concieved than you do for you baby!!)

- We have friends who found out they were pg days before we found out about our 1st bfp and her pregnancy stuck... their marriage is crap, all they do is fight, and it's always the end of the world... I cant even count how many time she was "calling off the wedding", they are completely broke, seriously in debt, the expected everyone else to buy everything they needed for the baby and did nothing on their own. They didnt even have their baby room set up until 2 weeks before he was born!! And yet we had our nursery completely set up by the time I would have been 4 mos pregnant (if the pregnancy would have lasted that long) And to this day their nursery still isnt filly set up or decorated at all!! Not fair! We were and still are so much more prepared for a child... they are so unprepared and yet WE lost the baby.

- I can't stand it when people say stop stressing and it will happen (I know that one was already mentioned, but I thought it needed to be mentioned again!! LOL) People who have never had to really TRY to get pg dont understand how slim the chance is each time. I mean for a 100% healthy couple you only have a 25% chance of conceiving each month... and even once you do in the best of circumstances you still have a disturbingly large possibliity of loosing the baby!! And that chance goes up with each m/c!!

- There are many things that people have done and said after my 2 m/c's, here are a few...

-"Maybe you were too stressed out" ok, so then you are saying this is MY fault?? Thanks.

- "it just wasnt meant to be" so then you're saying nothing I could have done could have saved my baby, and the entire thing was pre-destined? Then what was the purpose of me getting pregnant? Just to crush me?

- (possibly the most hurful) a "friend" sent me an audio message immediately after hearing about my m/c of her 4 month old baby coo-ing.... yeah cause that wasnt at all like twisting the knife...

- My 18 yr old cousin, immediately after me being hospitalized from the 2nd m/c tells me "Yeah I am pretty sure I am pregnant, but dont worry I'm getting rid of it" REALLY????

- Also have to say... I feel like I am being bombarded by religion today!! I am not particularly religious, (but hold nothing against those who are, as long as no one tries to push their religion on me I'm good.) but in one day I have had 8 different people throw religion in my face saying "It's GOD's will" and "GOD will give you a baby when your ready" etc etc etc.... kinda at the end of my leash with it!

Thats all for now.... hope to hear from you all soon!
Joy

LoL, sorry for the very lengthy post & all the spelling mistakes! Apparenly I am tired!!

oh i hate the god thing too!! yes its a nice thought when people say I'll pray for you, but come on, what will that really accomplish! its nice that someone is thinking of me, but i would rather hear "thinking of you and hope its happens soon for you" rather than "i'll pray for you". ever thought your god might not like me and if you bring to his attention that I want a baby he might do even more to stop it!!! I'm being silly now!! hee hee!!

God's Will - he wanted me to get all excited about getting a BFP after nearly a year then got his rocks off my causing me huge amounts of pain and surgery with massive amounts of stress to all my loved ones... Well you can keep your god all to yourself as I dont want a bar of that kind of will.

Who is god to say when I am ready! I say when I am ready!! once god has solved the bigger issues in this world, like famine and diease, then he can have a say in my fertility. Until then, butt out!!

And remember, for the christian/catholic god, he let his only son die. He sat back and let it happen. Not a very good parent in my opinion! He let some other man raise his child (bless Joseph!). hmmm, dont think he will win parent of the year somehow!!

yes the god thing gets to me too!!! I actually had a lady come in with her hubby last yr,just after my surgery,and tell me that all of lifes answears are in the bible,so she brings me a bible a couple of weeks later and tells me all i have to do is read it,she said god will give you a baby its in the bible. so ok lady i went looking through that whole bible and no where was there a baby with my name on it to pluck from the pages!! I think if there is a god then he must really hate me. Or the god doesn't give you more than you can't handle thing,well i have just about had enough of all i can handle,its not god who decides it,its a medical fact of an egg meeting sperm at the precise moment, not some miricle sorry people. if its god doing the work then why is it a human who extracts the eggs and sperm,mixes them in a dish to produce a embryo and implant it in a womb,all medical amd i right

by the way the name is kristine

Holy Crap - What is wrong with people????????

Let's see, a woman who I work with, who has no kids, keeps telling me to stand on my head. WHAT?

After my miscarriage my family just acted like it was nothing and really had a hard time understanding why I was still so upset.

My one aunt said "well at least you CAN get pregnant." Um, yeah, well that hasn't happened in the last 8 months of trying, so what's your theory now?

Oh let's talk about the drug addict women who have 20 kids and don't even take care of them?

The bottom line is if you haven't went through it it's impossible to empathize. And today's society is soooo selfish. It's very rare to find a person or a group of people (like you lovely ladies) who actually give a sh*t.

Hey Ladies
I completely agree with Faith that if you haven't been there you absolutely do not get it. People are so awful to kick us when we are down.

Joy - I was totally horrified by the crap those horrible people pulled on you while you were going through a m/c. I seriously can't believe someone sent you an audio of their baby cooing!!! Do you still talk to that person? I think that would be beyond my ability to forgive if someone did that to me!!! That lady needs a slap upside the head!

God Topic new vent - I totally feel all of your pain on that front. So I was talking with my BIL and SIL about someone else who was trying not to get pregnant and my BIL says "God's commanded us to multiply and replenish the Earth." He said it looking at me and it really pissed me off. I've been married for over 5 years with no kids and I really felt judged. By the way if that's God's commandment then why the hell wont he help me get pregnant.

- Same BIL was talking to my husband about the Christmas card we sent out this year. (I sent a card with pictures of our 2 cats by our Christmas tree.) He said that he could really picture our card with kids instead of cats. AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Hey jerk, don't you think that I would have loved to have sent a card that had our baby pictures in it. Ummmmm that wasn't an option. Whats worse is HE KNOWS WE ARE TTC!!!!! Why would someone say that? It really upset me and as soon as I heard about it I made my husband call him back and tell him how pissed off I was about it. BIL's lame excuse - "Sorry I'm just tired I didn't mean it" BULL CRAP, YOU TOTALLY MEANT IT!!!! They have two kids and I believe that she is pregnant again, although they have not made it official. They dropped some obvious hints
though. I totally love his wife, but as you cans see he says some really insensitive things sometimes.

GGGGRRRRRRRRRR to everything already said. I couldn't agree more. Love this thread and love you ladies!!!!

Becca

Awesome, thread Joy.

My biggest thing is, "If You lose weight you will have a child" Don't tell me that bs. I was 45 lbs lighter when I started TTC and TTC made me fat aka stress from it. And please don't tell me that cause I know 3 BIG girls who got pregnant 2 being my sisters and TWICE each along with my coworker who was 3x's bigger than I was at the start of TTC and what I am now. So, don't tell me to lose weight and it will happen. I know big girls can get pregnant too.