Community post

Toronto- I hope your appointment went well!! Kmfx

Fingers crossed for a healthy-all-around report, Toronto!

Hi ladies!
Nice to meet you!

I turned 43 2months ago & I'm truly in the last lap of the TTC run.

2 MC's in 3 years of TTC on our own, 6 months w/OBGYN help, 2 months with RE.
My RE won't do IVF with us unless DE are used.

My US/labs have all been WNL-- RE is holding me hostage due to age only.
Even the nurses have commented how my labs are better than their younger patients'.
DH has low count & motility. OBGYN thought that was our IF issue, but RE says it's not.
He says our IF and inability to sustain a pregnancy is because of my age. (For this, I pay him. I'm more stupid than I ever thought I'd be! ;p)

I can't pursue another RE b/c DH is "tired of" TTC hurdles, costs, etc., and DH likes this RE ("don't want to go somewhere else").
We're one of those couples who IF destroyed.
I've mentioned adoption several times this past year, but DH will not discuss it nor look at any of the literature.

I'm heart broken, and TBH, not ready to give up.
I am meant to be a mom, I feel it so deeply and with great certainty.
My heart and soul ache to meet and hold my child.

My RE said he'd only do 3 IUI's with us...
1 down, 2 to go.

Feeling so very down and so very alone anymore.
I did not think the end of the road would be so empty.

Forgive me for the DebbieDowner introduction,
but it's where I'm at right now.

Cmonbaby... Welcome! I am sorry to hear about the obstacles with your RE. To be honest, he is right about your age, but if your labs are so good, he should have at least given you a try.

I think, most REs decline to treat women over 43 simply because our chances of success are simply so low statistically (of course, there are always outliers) and they just don't want to risk their clinic's success rates to be screwed up by us oldies...

There are studies on IVF cycles, which are converted by REs because of "low response" (i.e. four follicles or less) and the success rate of IUI is MUCH lower than that of IVF. So if there was insurance coverage or a budget for IVF, this would be the better option...

Most definitely, your chances at 40 or 41 were much better than they are now (but we don't know this, we just keep trying :( )

I feel your pain, but the question is what it will do to your relationship if you keep pushing the issue with your DH or if you would be willing to go that way on your own...

Hope you will be successful with one of your next two IUIs! Miracles do happen after all!

xo

Welcome cmonbaby!! I am sorry about DH and RE. I actually have the opposite issue with my RE. He would not look at any other option except IVF, and after seeing him for every test known to man (all came back great) We conceived on our own. We mc at 6 weeks, but I know we can get pregnant it is just an issue of getting that sticky bean. I understand the odds of more success with IVF because they are using more viable eggs, but to pay so much for a 3% chance scares me which is why I wanted to do iui first. Also I have been reading up about going out of the states to have IVF done if it gets to that point!! It is almost half the cost including the travel. I am not sure where you are located but if cost is an issue that may be an option for you also. A girl on another thread went to panama and the hospital was affiliated with johns Hopkins so I am researching that and will keep you posted.

AFM still in that TWW - I am so tired I have been asleep by 9:00 or 9:30 and not up until 6:30!! My normal hours are 11:00 and up by 5:30.. I am hoping that is a good sign...kmfx

Karin, same here! I had never thought about IVF in my life, particularly since I had a son at 37 - conceived naturally.

I was blue-eyed when we started out TTC in June 2011 and figured it should just work... When we decided to consult an RE to get DBF checked out, she took all my (des)illusions about the chances of conceiving at my age. I was 41, just a month away from my 42nd birthday, and she told us that IUI would be a complete waste of time.

My ovarian response in all 4 IVF cycles confirmed that my ovaries were already "on their last leg" with regard to egg production (and forget about quality).

So, although it is possible to still conceive naturally over the age of 41,42 (40 is still not so bad in most cases), I believe we would have not gotten pregnant without intervention (and believe me, we did try...).

Crossing my fingers for you that you get lucky this cycle!!! FX FX FX

BTW... the American Pregnancy Association states an average success rate for IVF for women over 40 between 6% and 10%. Mind you, I have seen more detailed stats and there is a considerable drop after 42. So, I guess at 40 you have the 10% and then it goes down from there...

I did some googling on IUI vs. IVF success over 40...

I came across this page, which has some interesting stats:
http://www.advancedfertility.com/iui-success-rates.htm

IUIs and female age

After the early 30's, advancing female age has a significant negative impact on fertility - regardless of the method used to get pregnant.

One published study of over 4000 Clomid plus IUI cycles showed IUI success rates as shown in the table. (Reference: Serena Dovey, et al, Clomiphene citrate and intrauterine insemination: analysis of more than 4100 cycles, Fertility and Sterility; December, 2008).

Age and Success Rates from Clomid-IUI
Female Age Percent Pregnant Per Cycle Completed
Under 35 11%
35-37 9%
38-40 7%
41-42 4%
Over 42 1%

IUI success rates over age 40

It is well known that chances for success with IUI in women over age 40 are much lower. The results of several studies have been consistent in showing this.
Many couples with a female partner over 40 will move fairly quickly to IVF treatment
Two issues pushing for this are the low success rates with IUIs over 40 and the understanding that there is an ever-shortening fertility window
The table above shows results from one large study of IUIs using Clomid
Most studies have shown a success rate (delivery of a baby) at age 41 of about:
1-2% per month with Clomid + IUI
2-4% per month with injectables + IUI
IVF success rates are much higher - about 20% at age 41 in our IVF program

Mind you... I checked this clinics IVF success rates and they do not state their success rates for IVF after 42 - either they don't do them or because they are so low... :(

I am such a Debby Downer, I know. It's just that I worry so much about whether this baby will make it and thinking of the process we have gone through to get here, if I had to do this all over again, knowing back than what I know today, I would have gone straight to donor egg...

Mind you, if you are younger than me, your chances will also be better.

Clomid sucks for women over 40. My RE let me do one IUI with it just because it's so darn cheap, but it really thinned my lining and for women over 40, thin lining is already a concern so you really don't want it thinner. Also, he doesn't like clomid (or femara) for women of advanced maternal age because it blocks estrogen, thereby tricking the body into producing more FSH. He prefers to just add the FSH directly - he says he gets better quality eggs with less side effects that way.

I'm 44 and my RE quoted me a success rate of 8-10% for IUI with injectibles. Still sucky.

Speaking of IUI, looks like I will trigger tomorrow and IUI on Sunday. I was really hoping for a non-weekend IUI, but I'll take what I can take. This might be our last ticket to the show, so cross everything!

For those that like this sort of thing, here are my stats from today:
Right ovary: 17.5, 17.0 (x2), 15.9 and 12.7 (surprise! this one popped up out of nowhere)
Left ovary: 13.6, 13.0, 11.6 and 4 < 10
Lining: 8.1
Waiting to hear on E2 & LH

Cmonbaby--welcome to the group, will keep you in my thoughts and prayers...I am dealing with kind of the same thiing with my hubby too, just frustrated and for us natural is the only option..

Toronto--how did your scan go?? hoping all is good with you

Number3 & Essemkay--oh yes that pesky placenta sure does like to get in the way, i had partial placenta previa with my last 2, and of course our youngest they had to chase him around with the doppler to get his heart rate...at times had to do a sono just to get it, don't know how many times i about freaked out when they couldn't find his heartbeat....at one point, when i was about 6 mths I took a pretty good tumble down our flight of stairs, they kept me in the hospital overnight for observation for the baby and i had a concussion...the poor nurse had to sit with me all night long, to keep the monitor on him because he just would not stay put, lol. I did luck out and the hospital loaned me one of their dopplers because of my panic attacks, to help ease the fear of his heart stopping..however my placenta did move up as my uterus grew so i was able to avoid a c-section..

AFM--still in limbo, my temps for the last few days are now up in the 98's (normal post "O" temps.) so no sign of AF and on CD35, ugghhhh...have never had a cycle this long b4.....so just waiting it out for now and see what God has in store for us...

Thoughts and prayers to all :-)

Essemkay... Wow, you go girl - you get really good results in terms of follies!! There are always outliers from the stats you know, hence everyone knows a woman who conceived naturally at 45... So, fingers crossed for you!! Please, let this work!

Angel... strange cycle you have there. It's still open now... I guess, all you can do is wait... Have you peed on anymore sticks? Or just waiting...?

My scan was perfect, yay! My OB was very happy. The little lemon was moving around wiggling arms and legs and wouldn't hold still for measuring... but it's all good right now.
Next milestone is Nov 26, my NT scan.

xo