Secondary Infertility - Aged 35.
<-- These are the faces I make each time I get a and each time ugly AF shows up. I watch people come and go, getting their BFP's, yet I am still waiting. It's been 29 long cycles, I am now on my 30th cycle. My partner is desperate for his own baby and I feel like every month I am letting him down.
I am a YouTuber, and in one of our live pregnancy test videos, he literally cried so hard. I hate seeing what this is doing to him, I hate not being able to do the only thing my body could do - only a few years ago.
I am going to be using this as a journal to blog my emotions, my symptoms and god willing, my very own
Thank you for reading. Looking for cycle buddies!
I have started a blog - www.waitingimpatientlyforourblessing.blogspot.com
Cycle 30 - BFN
Cycle 31 - Currently 1DPO
Cycle 32 (Letrozole & Trigger) - ?
92 Comments • 12 months ago • Edited
Comments (sorted by laughs)
MissPug - that stinks about your Facebook situation Unfortunately, some people take everything personally and maybe they viewed you as a threat? If we are all in the situation where we have been TTC, we should be helping other women stay positive and cheer them on, not tear them down!
How many dpo are you at this point? Any hopeful signs?
I am gearing up to (hopefully) ovulate anywhere between now and the 25th, so closely monitoring any symptoms and BD with hubby.
12 months ago
Thanks anglys19. FX for your soon ovulation and that sperm penetrating your egg and attaching for you in your warm uterus.
I'm CD3. I didn't waste any more money on tests once my BBT dipped at 10DPO.
Usually I have an 11 day LP. This month it was only 10. I guess I really did know when I ovulated, rather than the majority of people suggesting that I'd ovulated days later than when I KNEW I did.
This month - Planning nothing. Next month, Planning Letrozole and Trigger. We're speaking to the doctor on Monday coming to do a medicated cycle. This is my 31st cycle. Our 32nd cycle is going to be the medicated one.
Sorry I have been MIA, I just can't deal with the repeated BFN's and AF's. The disappointment is getting too much for me now and I have genuinely questioned myself on whether to just give up trying. I'm so done and over the whole emotional rollercoaster now.
I am however doing a FSH test today, and in 3-4 days time my OH is doing a sperm test, which of course we'll be uploading to YT with both our results and hopefully, doing the sperm check.
12 months ago • Post starter
MissPug. I totally understand why you would be MIA. I have had those days, too where I just want to curl up and be left alone.
I always thought it was good to have at least a light line for FSH tests. Obviously too high levels can signal problems, but I also thought that having too low of an FSH level was also a sign that something wasn’t right. But I’ve never really discussed that a doctor.
I had some back pain and some minor cramping this morning, so hopefully that is a good sign that ovulation either happened today or is imminent. Crossing my fingers (and toes)!
Hopefully the test for your OH goes well and gives some answers!
12 months ago
Have you now ovulated angyls? Fingers and toes crossed for you lovely.
CD7 for me, AF is nearly over. It's nearly time to re-start BBT'ing and only a week to go until I ovulate. I get the feeling we should entirely 'give up' for this cycle but that sets off my anxiety, not knowing when AF will arrive! As it was, she was a whole day early this cycle!
We did my fiance's sperm concentration test last night - uploaded to youtube. Bit hilarious really as I was supposed to time-lapse a part of it and you can hear me in the background saying 'Right let's see how much you produced this time.... 3ml not bad!'
Wouldn't recommend the test, it was a One Step and the results were like 'If Well A is darker than Well B then the sperm concentration is greater than 15million per mil' The problem was, that Well A (where you place the sperm, the blue staining liquid and the washing liquid (NOT FAIRY lol), was actually blue, and Well B was a greeny-blue, making it quite hard to intercept the results... This is our video...
My CB fertility monitor wants me to start testing from CD9 - no chance. I don't know why it wants so many tests, I get that it's trying to learn my cycle but last month I ovulated CD15, so why does it need to start from CD9! Such a waste of tests and money, I'll be ignoring it until around CD11.
11 months ago • Post starter
MissPug Yeah, that sounds like a lot of unnecessary tests! I'm sorry the sperm concentration test didn't turn out as expected. My husband has never used one of them, so it was interesting to see how they work.
As far as ovulation goes, I'm guessing I did over the weekend, although I mostly "phoned it in" this cycle and only used my app to estimate when I ovulated. I did have some minor cramping and lower backache for about an hour on Saturday, and my abdomen was sore for about a half hour afterwards. So I though "hey, maybe today was the day". However, last night I had some pain on my lower right side for about 15-20 minutes. Regardless, we did the BD pretty much every other day (although every day for a couple of days) for the past week and a half.
Today I'm at CD 19, so I'm going to assume that I've now entered the dreaded TWW , although we did BD last night and will again tomorrow night for the heck of it. My LP is usually 12 - 14 days, so if that is the case, I ovulated sometime between Friday and Sunday, so we'll see! If not, AF is due to arrive on 11/6.
11 months ago
More Journal posts