Secondary Infertility - Aged 35.
<-- These are the faces I make each time I get a and each time ugly AF shows up. I watch people come and go, getting their BFP's, yet I am still waiting. It's been 29 long cycles, I am now on my 30th cycle. My partner is desperate for his own baby and I feel like every month I am letting him down.
I am a YouTuber, and in one of our live pregnancy test videos, he literally cried so hard. I hate seeing what this is doing to him, I hate not being able to do the only thing my body could do - only a few years ago.
I am going to be using this as a journal to blog my emotions, my symptoms and god willing, my very own
Thank you for reading. Looking for cycle buddies!
I have started a blog - www.waitingimpatientlyforourblessing.blogspot.com
Cycle 30 - BFN
Cycle 31 - Currently 1DPO
Cycle 32 (Letrozole & Trigger) - ?
92 Comments • 10 months ago • Edited
Comments (sorted by hugs)
@Miss Pug, my provider put me on inositol 2 years ago, which is a supplement. I went from unable to get pregnant after 3 years of TCC to pregnant 3xs in 6 months. I had two early losses most likely due to a clotting disorder that was discovered via a blood test at the RE. She put me on baby aspirin and the third pregnancy went to term. I have a beautiful one year old daughter now.
So if you're looking at supplements or vitamins, I highly recommend inositol! No side effects and lots of benefits. I still take it to regulate my cycles now. It is most commonly given to those with PCOS, but you don't have to have PCOS to benefit from it.
If I could go back, I'd have seen a RE much earlier. I made an appointment early on, but cancelled it. I guess I felt embarrassed? Like maybe I was going to find out nothing was wrong and waste their time or I felt like I hadn't put in my "dues" yet of trying for a really long time.
Best of luck
10 months ago
LadyMae, thanks for your reply. Can you get inositol in the UK and without prescription? I'll look into it.
I'm 8DPO. I stupidly got my hopes up last night due to a test looking reasonably positive. It's dried like an absolute pig though. It's definitely an evap. I'll attach a photo to this post of how it looks this morning, god knows why there's so many little dots on it. It's very clearly an evap but last night it was super convincing.
Not much else to report, apart from this morning's BBT dropped a little.
10 months ago • Post starter
I need to vent - please just ignore this post, I just feel like I need to get it off my chest before my head goes BANG.
So, 2 days ago I joined a group on Facebook, it was a BBT charting group. I thought this will be helpful to give my knowledge on and to ask for advice regarding my own chart. So, very quickly I was accepted into the group. I noticed that they needed a moderator so thought I'd apply. I sent screenshots of the 5 long years I've been BBT'ing as proof I knew roughly what I was on about.
I was accepted. I then became an administrator of said group.
I noticed that there were no files, so I copied and pasted from my own group on FB (POAS Party, TTC & Pregnancy Support) files such as how to take your BBT, and uploaded a lot more information to their group which will be useful to others as there was absolutely nothing on the group but members posts. No informative information or anything.
I got on really well with the admin, but the other moderator and I seemed to have pretty quickly locked horns. I posted my BBT chart and said how annoyed I was that another charting group criticised my chart and my O day, when all I'd asked was what did they think to my temperature pattern. The admin agreed with me, the other moderator - did not.
I shared photo after photo of my OPK's and that my first near positive OPK was mid-day CD15. Knowing that you will ovulate 12-36 hours after the first positive - she thought it was absolutely not possible that I ovulated 11 hours later when I had O pains. She did not understand, nor want to understand that when I have O pains, that's when I usually do ovulate. Especially pains that bad. I've been TTC for a LONG time, it's been 26 months THIS time, but my last baby also took 2 years. I know my body and I know when I ovulate(d). She seemed to think I ovulated 4 days later (according to my BBT) and that isn't when my body ovulates. I've been tracking now for close to 5 years and I always ovulate CD14-17. Never as late as CD19, ALTHOUGH, in May 2015 after my MMC, it was CD24. That is the only exception.
I quickly deleted all my content that I'd spent ages doing for their group and wrote to the admin and explained that I had left the group.
I'm sorry to go on and on - but I've honestly felt so shitty. Made to feel like I don't know my own body, or what I'm talking about. In my group I have helped a lot of women get pregnant, and over 400 of those lovely members in my group notice the files I've typed up, the albums I've added and I advise them as best as I can. I never undermine them and I just wouldn't dream of doing that to anyone else - whether I was just a member of that group, or an administrator.
Anyway, here's my BBT chart as of today. I am 8DPO and suffered a teeny dip. I've cross-checked this with previous cycles and notice a very similar pattern with June 2020's chart. Also suffered a 8DPO dip, went up on 9DPO then started falling for AF. I'll put that comparison in a following post.
10 months ago • Post starter
MissPug - that stinks about your Facebook situation Unfortunately, some people take everything personally and maybe they viewed you as a threat? If we are all in the situation where we have been TTC, we should be helping other women stay positive and cheer them on, not tear them down!
How many dpo are you at this point? Any hopeful signs?
I am gearing up to (hopefully) ovulate anywhere between now and the 25th, so closely monitoring any symptoms and BD with hubby.
9 months ago
Thanks anglys19. FX for your soon ovulation and that sperm penetrating your egg and attaching for you in your warm uterus.
I'm CD3. I didn't waste any more money on tests once my BBT dipped at 10DPO.
Usually I have an 11 day LP. This month it was only 10. I guess I really did know when I ovulated, rather than the majority of people suggesting that I'd ovulated days later than when I KNEW I did.
This month - Planning nothing. Next month, Planning Letrozole and Trigger. We're speaking to the doctor on Monday coming to do a medicated cycle. This is my 31st cycle. Our 32nd cycle is going to be the medicated one.
Sorry I have been MIA, I just can't deal with the repeated BFN's and AF's. The disappointment is getting too much for me now and I have genuinely questioned myself on whether to just give up trying. I'm so done and over the whole emotional rollercoaster now.
I am however doing a FSH test today, and in 3-4 days time my OH is doing a sperm test, which of course we'll be uploading to YT with both our results and hopefully, doing the sperm check.
9 months ago • Post starter
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