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Moving over to CMP *update*

*decided to not start a new CMP account--too much work lol. I'll still be Sonata85 on CMP* Hi Ladies! Well, AF is officially not here, and my tests have continued to darken. I'm moving over to CMP (please come with if you've recently gotten your bfp--it gets a little quiet over there) but of course will be stalking over here. Thank-you, thank-you to everyone who has commented on my most recent journal and photos. I really appreciate your kindness and support. My husband is still "coming around" to the idea of the baby. I think it goes without saying that positive/darkening tests from 3- 4 weeks don't always lead to holding a baby in one's arms. My 2 daughters were both preemies (#1 was 36 weeks, 3lbs 14oz, IUGR, single umbilical artery, and #2 was 33+6, 4lbs 3oz). I had preeclampsia both times and bleeding scares with both. But from the beginning of both pregnancies there was something in me that felt like I would meet these babies and take them home. This time with #3, I have a weird feeling. Maybe it is just because my husband isn't excited, and I'm keeping it a secret from my mom for as long as possible. We just moved halfway across the country at the end of June, we're closing on a great house in late September. I hid my first pregnancy from my former employer for 8 weeks, but my husband and I were both sooooo beyond excited. But considering we're living with my mom, it's going to be really hard to hide it. She snoops in my stuff occasionally (I'm on medication for anxiety/depression, which both my OB and psychiatrist approved for me to use last pregnancy and my daughter is completely fine). Anyway, my mom claims that I don't need the meds, she's read all about them, they're dangerous, etc. Her most recent comment when I said a few months ago we wanted a 3rd child was "You have a lot to work on before you have another. It would be so unfair to your daughters to have a 3rd." My mom is supportive, but she also thinks she's always right and says some really hurtful things I think without realizing it. Anyway, my youngest would be 22 months when #3 is born (I hope I go to term this time!), which is a completely "normal" age gap. And really, there's no such thing as a right or wrong age gap. I'll deal with what comes my way. I want to be happy. I want to enjoy this pregnancy and wish I could shake this fear. My first OB appointment is set for September 24. My GP has refused to do a second beta when I see her tomorrow because "the OB will let you know if you need to." Test progression is obvious, but given my complicated history, a second number would really help ease my mind. Plus, the OB is going to look at my chart and be like why didn't she do another beta? I can still beg my GP tomorrow at my appointment, but she seems pretty ready to pass me off to someone else. I didn't get my hcg drawn with my first and just had to hang tight until my first prenatal appointment. I was ok. We're ok. I do identify as a Christian, and I wish that I could truly embrace the concept of faith as believing in something unseen. At times I do, but right now, I'd like a second number for peace of mind. But anyway, I'll be making the move today or tomorrow. Look me up if you want to follow my journey! Much baby dust, sticky vibes, and again thanks for being so supportive, ladies!!

2 Comments • 4 years ago • Edited

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