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Journal

sonata85

Update: 7 months postpartum and...(pregnancy mentioned)

Hi Ladies! It's been way too long since I've journaled. I didn't even keep a journal with my first pregnancy because it was pretty scary and chaotic (single umbilical artery, growth restriction, preeclampsia and unexpected c-section at 36+2). The full story is in my birth announcement on CMP, but I'm happy to say that our daughter turned 7 months last week. She started off at 3 pounds 14 ounces and is up to 14 pounds. I was a 32-week preemie myself and didn't make it onto the charts until I was 5 years old or something ridiculous. Hannah is on the charts--3rd percentile height, 6th percentile weight, and 65th percentile head!! Lol

Our pediatrician recommended genetic testing and head ultrasound, and everything came back normal. She's just a little girl with a big head and has pretty much defied the logic of every doctor that's made a big deal about her size. We don't know why she was so small--possibly because the umbilical cord was more the size of an electrical cord, the placenta was tiny, and I'm 4'9" tall (though I usually say 4'10").

She was in the hospital for 3 weeks feeding and growing. We knew she would probably come early, so I had 2 rounds of steroid shots to help mature her lungs. There are things I still get a little sad about--that breastfeeding just didn't work. She latched for maybe a minute and fell asleep. In order to come home she had to take all feedings by mouth. Once she started taking full bottles I decided to exclusively pump. Did that for 5 months and realized that I basically wasn't showering or leaving the house, so i switched to formula and it's fine. Hannah is a joy--very energetic and smiley, a little grumpy now that she has 2 teeth, but a sweetheart.

So anyway the other news is that on Dec. 7 at 10 dpo I got a super faint BFP. It was my second PP cycle, and we decided to go from NTNP to trying because I was convinced that my body was screwed up and it would take a long time. But we got a pleasant surprise. A few days later I started spotting--some red--so I called my OB and she got me in for betas. My numbers doubled, my progesterone was a little low, so I went on supplements and 3 weeks later there was no spotting. I saw the gestational sac at 5 weeks and yesterday the baby and heartbeat measuring 8 weeks 4 days, which is one day ahead of when I think I ovulated. I've spent the past month in limbo feeling like I was going to lose the pregnancy at any moment, but focusing on my daughter is what got me through it. She's here and needs me, so I can't obsess over the pregnancy. I'd like to enjoy it one day at a time. The pregnancy with my daughter started off great and ended kind of rough, so maybe this experience will be the opposite. I'm hoping to hold the baby right after delivery. I didn't get to see my daughter until the next day. But she's here and I'm just so thankful every day.

Anyway, I go for my NT screening in 3 weeks so will probably make a new CMP profile and maybe journal over there this time. Will post test pics later but for now I'm wishing all my friends who've been with me since I joined in 2014 all the best with babies, pregnancies, ttc and sending good vibes to all recent BFPs and those who are dealing with loss. I want this bean to stick but I'm trying to stay calm and remember that I'm not in control of what happens.