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HSG- the test From hell

So yesterday I had an eventful day, it started with the first monthly pelvic ultrasound at the REI office with a dr I had never seen before. Lets talk about this dr for a second. Or actually lets talk about his wife, that poor woman, to imagine what she must endure. Why I say this? because this dr had no concept of the fact that you just can't insert an ultra sound wand with no warning or sense of speed. one moment I was fine and the next this guy made me double over. Not the best dr i have seen yet.
so I left all in pain and trying to stay optimistic for my next appointment- the HSG, I got there and took all the meds they told me to take but that was not enough. The pain of having the speculum in was horrible, followed by the Iodine swabbing to clean the inside. Oh and lets not forget the giants swabs that followed to "dry" the iodine, and then the reall fun started. Pressure from the catheter, moving the speculum up and down, more pressure form the straw thing. So about what felt like 5 mins of that the dr says he needs to dilate me. ok more pressure more pain and cold soooo very cold. ok so now I am dilated (20 min with my legs in the air) and now he puts the Balloon in, they position the machine and I felt the biggest amount of pain coming into my uterus, it was horrible. But wait there's more and some more, ahh and more. I couldn't breath I was holding on to the tech for dear life, crying and in pain I was as stiff as I could be - she had to move me by my arms in order to get the xrays right. Finally it was done, the Dr took everything out and I could feel the liquid inside of me making me bloated and cramping.
No one should ever have to feel that amount of pain, I am happy that it's over and yet I feel so weird. like if something was taken from me, maybe I am being melodramatic or not but after you run out of fingers counting the number of people that have seen you down there and compare it to the ONE person you have ever only been with it makes me feel like a lab rat with the pocking and prodding and testing to see what will finally work.
i honestly pray this month God willing will be the month.

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