Community post

Nervous

Tomorrow is my blood draw. It was scheduled for Wednesday but the doctor changed it to Thursday. I am scared to death. I still have pregnancy symptoms. My chest is still tender, my belly is still crampy and I am still nauseous. I still have gas and interrupted sleep. I just have lost too many pregnancies to be anything but scared to death. I have been taking WalMart pee tests for a few days now and really there isn't much change in the lines. They are decently dark though. At 3 weeks and about 3 days my progesterone was 48 so I know that was not the trouble.
My husband is gone to training for a month and I will be alone for this pregnancy for this first month. If it goes right my husband will miss the 'firsts', but if it goes wrong I will be all alone and no one knows I am even pregnant cause no one that I know cares that a 34 year old woman can't keep her pregnancies. My husband told the people at his work. I wish he hadn't cause it puts added stress on me. If I fail it makes it so difficult for me. I just want to keep a pregnancy. It shouldn't be so hard.
I just want to get this test over with. I wanted to wait and have blood draws every week so I could just make it to the day I have never made it past before which is Thursday. If my number is appropriate for my dpo (18 today, 19 tomorrow) then I will be content and if it will be an appropriate amount next week I will ask for an ultrasound. I have never made it past this week in pregnancy. I so pray that God gives us this baby. So much. I just don't want to tell my husband I failed yet again.

2 Comments • 9 years ago

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