Community post

Hi Ladies:

Bug - I'm right behind you. This cycle makes 11 months.

How is everyone else doing?

I don't really have a rant today. I guess I would just like to understand how it is that I was able to get pregnant 4xs in a lifetime and now when I try I can't. I don't get it. Plus my doctor sucks - no kinda monitoring at all! And yes, I could totally go to another doctor but I feel like it wouldn't matter because none of them listen to you anyway! Whatever!

aww bug thats a hard one, i remember, don't give up im still here after 28 months and been through hell.. my rant today is i can't find a proper percentage of getting pg naturally with tubes that were blocked. i want to know what the eff the answear is!!!! some sites on the internet say 10% chance where others say up to 80% so which is it. or i can't find anything really on lupron.. i just want some straight answears damit... why is it soo hard. and am i going to be on fertility meds to do this,will it have to be done with iui, or the elusive and very expensive ivf... i just want to be able to get pg on my own cuz thats the cheapest way..or when will af show up. i had wicked cramps yesterday like af was going to start but nothing, and i haven't od yet either. im scared of the fact of what happens if i had a anovulatory cycle, where i get af but didn't o. i had no problems oing before the lupron a i going t have problems now???? i need some answears but i don't see my f.s. till the end of april. god knows i wasn't born with any patients.. very frustrated right now!!!!!

to you bugs today ok..

Hello All,

I was browsing through the forums and this one stopped me in my tracks. Why? I saw some other post that Expecting2expect started and I was so encouraged.

I felt your name was so bold, so full of hope and well - expectant. While i definitely think all posts are justified and are from women who are frustrated with their bodies and feel sad that something so seemingly simple, like having children seems to elude them - I can understand the pain.

I have one child, but had a miscarriage last year - it was painful. so i can relate on some level.

However, I am a firm believer in God, because HE has shown himself strong in my life. I have a practical, loving relationship with a Father, who does all things for His good. While I do not aim to 'force' my religion on anyone, or 'throw' God in anyone's face, I believe that it is unfair to those people that believe and are hanging on to God's word, to have someone berate their faith.

Please be mindful that peoples' senseless comments about God do NOT represent God. You need to try God for yourself and in your own capacity. I am sorry that some have felt judged by critical religious fanatics, who quote the bible out of context. God is LOVE. So any comment about God that does not edify or does not exude or show love, well - isn't God.

I wish you all the grace to bear during such trying times as this and I do pray that in the end we would all be victorious.

Rant and grieve but always remain positive and hopeful!

Hi ladies....

WOW!!! Ok....

BelievableTwins - I appreciate that you like my name and my other posts, but if you have actually ready any of them, the other pages I have started are supportive, positive and for anyone who wants to join. THIS ONE is supposed to be a safe place for women who are frustrated with their ttc journey to vent... we dont want to bring down the positive energy on our other threads so we come here to complain and be as negitive as we want.

If you have a strong relationship with "God" thats great, but I dont appreciate you coming on here telling me that we need to try God for ourselves. Some of us arent interested in it and as we respect your right to believe, you need to respect outs not to. Again, this is a place for all the negitive feeling we cant tell our spouses or friends or family or even the ladies on the other threads. THATS WHY WE COME HERE.

I mean no disrespect, as I said, I think its great you have a relationship with God, but dont come on here and tell us how to be. We have the right to be angry with God or not believe at all, we have the right to be negitive and rant and vent as much as we like. Cause honestly for some of us it keeps us sane and at time probably keeps us from taking our own lives, I know I've been there. So dont tell us to be hopeful and positive. This is not the place for that.

If you dont understand or respect what this thread represents then please stay off it. We dont want to be judged for what this is, we just want to be able to vent, get mad and move on. Thats not too much to ask. If you would like to rant and complain your welcome to, but if your just going to tell us how great God "really" is and how we should be staying positive you clearly dont get it, so please leave us alone.

Again, sorry if that sounded rude, not trying to be a bitch, just trying to keep this a SAFE enviornent to air our annoyances.

Ok.... done with that now.

Kristine - I wanna say it's 10% cause even on a good month a completely healthy couple only has about a 20-25% chance of conceiving. So sorry you're feeling so frustrated right now Mother nature is a real bitch!

Faith - Grrr... in my experience ALL doctors suck. Even my ob/gyn who I love takes forever to do everything!

bug - So sorry to hear you've hit the one year mark I know how horrible it feels, my 2 year mark is coming up fast. I really hope you get some good news soon!

snowwhite - WOW seriously?? What a horrible doctor! Women who are over weight get pg all the time!!! My sister was a bigger girl when she got pg and she has a happy and healthy 9 year old now! Stupid doctors!

AFM - My rant for today is ttc.... NOTHING is reliable!! Symptoms I understand can be imaginary, or our subconcious playing tricks or even actually a sign of af rather that pg. But my bbt chart isnt imaginary! It looks NOTHING like any of my non-pregnant cycles, and looks damn near identical to my pregnant cycle!! Seriously??!?!!? I got a bfn on aq frer yesterday at 15dpo so I'm clearly NOT pg and af should be coming today or tomorrow according to my usual lp... so why does mother nature have to F with me like that??? I had tons of symptoms, AND my chart had "pregnant" written all over it... so frustrating!!

Hope everyone is having a good week! & I didnt offend anyone with my comment to Believeabletwins... didnt mean to sound like a bitch if I did!
Joy

I totally get the frustration Joy. Never mind, no offense taken at all. TTC has to be on the Guiness world record for most confusing and tough journey ever! Lol
But the negativityy doesn't help me. Ranting does, yes, but not constant negativity. Besides it would be a foul world not to see something that one is thankful for.

I'd rather live on the sunny Side.

Kisses and a lot of baby dust to you guys.

Ps: I am sure you'll get your BFP soon, Expecting......Stay expectant and it will happen.

I probably should just keep my mouth shut but I love my friends too much...

Many of you don't know me but I am the one who started the original "confessions" thread about a year ago after being told I may never be able to carry a child. However, I write now as the mother of a six week old boy.

I have perused this thread often to see how everyone is doing but I have kept silence because I knew from personal experience that the last thing anyone on here wanted to hear was someone talking about their pregnancy or baby.

But today I felt a friend was being attacked in the very place I created to be a safe haven.

Believabletwins- while I do believe you were well intentioned, I dont think you understand this thread and your words were hurtful. Expecting2Expect, or Joy as I know her, have developed a relationship off these threads and I am proud to call her not just a friend but a best friend. She is indeed a very positive and hopeful person. But anyone struggling with fertility problems has dark feelings too and the right to express them without feeling judged. And rather than being negative all the time and bringing others down, we found a saf place to vent filled with shoulders to cry on of people who can truly empathize.

Now in regards to God and religion, I am actually deeply religious and I pray for Joy and all the other ladies everyday. When I was told i wouldnt have a child, the first thing I did was go to a prayer hall and hit my knees. But even with my faith, I still wondered why God had done that to me. And while deep down I believed in "God's will" I can honestly say that was the last thing I wanted to hear at that time. Was it a sin for me to feel that way? Maybe. But that is between me and God and we are all sinners.

but if the words "God's will" were hurtful to me as a religious person, I can understand that they would be even more frustrating to someone who is not religious. It can be interpretted as saying "God doesn't think you deserve to have a child." And that hurts. So people come here to vent about that. They have that right.

Joy and I respect each other in light of our religious differences. I would never push my beliefs upon her and vice versa. We would never make each other feel bad about our beliefs as you have.

So again, while I believe you were well intentioned, I would ask you to respect the women here and their beliefs. They are good, hopeful and positive people. Do not judge them based on these pages. This is them at their worst, not their norm... and no one wants to be judged based on that.

~Aisha

I am So very Sorry if I came off as insensitive. You are right, maybe I don't understand the intentions of this thread. Please forgive me guys, really don't mean to hurt anyone. Everyone here is hurting enough.

A big big congratulations on your baby, Aisha. I am so very happy for you.

Thanks for putting this in perspective for me. I am not judgmental at all, and would hate to come across as such. So sorry guys.

I will shut up now.

WOW, DRAMA, Awesome - as if I don't have enough drama through work and my own life - LOL!

Joy, thank you for this thread! There are so many times when I just get so frustrated with people and situations that I cannot explain to other people as they wouldn't understand or even care.

I am a Marriage and family therapist. This is what I do for a living (what was I thinking - LOL!) and I tend to have higher expectation of people in my personal life than a normal person would. These expectations include my family and friends actualy listening to me when I talk about something instead of thinking of what they are going to respond while I'm talking. Or not playing the "one up you" game with me ("Oh well look at what about me? You think that's bad? We'll let me tell you about what happened to me.") And I don't want advice unless I ask for it - thanks anyway. My ideal would be someone who just sits there, listens, and shuts up! All I want to hear is "Can I refill your wine glass?" And honestly, that's what this forum is. You wonderful people have lived up to my high expectations and made me realize that I wasn't crazy for having them. Thank you for that!

As far as this religion thing goes, don't even get me started!

And finally, as for the negativity - I love being negative (probably not the greatest thing for a therapist to say!). I love being cynical. I love being crabby. When the time is appropriate, of course. I have done the whole "Positivity" thing and all it got me was disappointment and more hurt.

When you have been through as much hurt and bullshit that we have been through you have all the right in the world to be as negative as you want. And if it's only on a forum a few hours a week and doesn't affect your home/job life then who gives a F*CK (Sorry I like to curse too). I say you do what works for you!

You ladies are all amazing and I love you all! I am so glad this thread took off!

Faith - Your so sweet! & I'm right there with ya - I love being grouchy and negitive sometimes! Its healthy!!

Aisha - 'nuff said.

And to Believabletwins - thankyou for the appology

My rant for this afternoon... people who tell me "well at least you know you CAN get pregnant" ..... I would NEVER say to anyone "At least you've never lost a baby" - I know it's just as difficult to not be able to concieve at all as it is to misscarry. So how can people justify saying I'm LUCKY to have m/c'd?? Grrr......

Joy

It's like that stupid saying "Is it better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all?" What? So stupid!

I think one day I will be that guy on the roof of a building with a semi-automatic. I really can't stand stupid people and the older I get the more I notice that the world is filled with them. I'm not saying I'm Eiinstein, but I am considerate of other's feelings. I guess it's the therapist in me. Just once I would love to just let loose on someone stupid.