Community post

Hey everyone! Hope you all had a lovely weekend.

SZ1971 - That is a bummer, but like Franny said, sperm can live up to 5 days (3 usually) and you only need one! So try and bd as much as possible right before he leaves and you should have your bases covered!

How are all you other lovely ladies doing? Where do you all stand in your cycles? IDK if you read the other over 40 topics on here, but someone I used to chat with last year posted a really good message. Onemorebaby is in her mid 40's, conceived naturally and has just passed 13 weeks! I'm so thrilled for her (and for all of us)! Gives me great HOPE!

AFM - had some unsettling news over the weekend. My mom is going in for double bypass surgery tomorrow (1 artery is blocked 100% and another at 80%).We are all a little freaked out, as my mom has always been the healthy one, so this came as a surprise! I'm headed over for the surgery 3 hours away tomorrow. Positive thoughts would be appreciated. I'm 6dpo and feel great otherwise. No symptoms to speak of, a surprise since I'm doing 200 mg of progesterone at night. Hoping for the best, figured it couldn't hurt. Thanks for letting me ramble. to you all!

SZ1971 - Don't put yourself in a negative mindframe. Some women have actually become fertile by positive thinking and stimulating their bodies. It's more complicated then that but I've read great things in medical journals.

Hey Guys,
I'm new here. I'm 45 and my husband and I have been tcc for 6 1/2 years now. We had one surprise stick 2 1/2 years ago, but went to the dr. at 13 weeks and no heartbeat. I was so very sad. I've really started thinking seriously about trying again, but it is so hard to see the negative tests every month when trying. IDK what to do, but we will see what is in store for the future. Good Luck to all of you waiting, trying, and start the new cycle!!!

TCE - Try not to keep checking the sticks. It can hurt your confidence. I'm trying something this woman did which was to pretend to have safe sex with her husband so that they don't get her pregnant. It's essentially the placebo effect but it works so well elsewhere and she actually made it work. I'm reading the book now and I'm starting to implement some stuff. I can forward it to you if you'd like.

But besides that, stay strong. The ladies here are incredible support.

Hope you all had a good holiday.
Welcome to our new ladies.
SZ, I agree with the other girls, don't count yourself out so close to o day. Make sure to bd the morning before your dh leaves or at least collect a sample. Use a sperm friendly lubricant and try using a soft cup, that way the sperm is held next to the cervix for a good few hours. If u can tilt your hips up using a pillow (under both hips and tummy alternately. It swishes everything about) every half hour or so until the cup is removed. It's the best suggestion I can give to improve your chances. Good luck.

Pixandpoetry I am so sorry to hear about your mum, I went through the same thing with mine a few years ago and it's a horrible time for all involved. It's hard but please remember to take care of yourself, wouldn't it be great if you were breaking the news of a bfp after the worst has passed. After a week the improvements happened quickly so don't worry too much about the first few days when everything looks scary. Ok that sounds so dumb. Will def add you and your mum to my prayers, we are all here if you need to vent. Take care xx

Babyangelg. Sending lots of energy your way for the extra if I'm right it getting towards your o day. Good luck this cycle, hope this is your time X

Franny. 10dpo?? How you getting on sweetie? I always find this stage the hardest, think it's the lack of control. Keeping everything crossed for you. Let us know if you test

Afm. Af due tomorrow and getting cramps so not holding out hope this month. On the bright side will be able to stuff myself with flu meds and start cleaning down the Christmas decorations.

to all xx

Hi all,

11DPO for me. Tested (stupidly early!) on 8 and 9 DPO and got BFNs. I'm just going to hold out now for AF to come. My temp is still nice and high (for me) at 98.3 but having obvious period cramps so very sure I am out this month. I swear, last cycle made me angry and pretty hopeless about this whole thing. It was the very first time I got anything resembling an implantation dip — way down below cover on 10 dpo and then way back up to the 98s for days 11-13 and then BANG... AF with no symptoms or warning at all. I still have not recovered from that. I was so hopeful and then so !

DH is finally starting to understand what a toll this is taking emotionally. I honestly don't know how you all stay so strong. Does anyone have a story of someone trying more than a year without even a CP and going on to success? It just seems like we are broken.

We discussed it and we think March will be our last month trying. So that gives us 5 more cycles. Then I'll plan for a very different life than what I had imagined. It will be OK though, there are worse things.

Sorry for the downer post and for talking all about myself.

Good luck to all. Thinking of you.

Thanks everypne for the support and advices; it really made my mood better so will be trying and keeping my fingers crossed.

Oh franny, my heart goes out to you right now. Please don't give up! Why don't you try and stop temping until at least after Xmas and let your mind and body relax for a bit. Eat and drink what you want, only bd when it is for fun. Even if you still do opk's you can concentrate on just o day. Put all your energy into fun, enjoy each other and allow yourself to heal.
My cousin and his wife tried for 6 years, they had ivf multiple times but nothing worked. I think it was sometime in the third year that they accepted it wasn't going to happen and stopped trying (their relationship was really starting to suffer). Six years after starting to try they fell pregnant. They were so shocked cos they hadn't been trying for years and were told by doctors it wouldn't happen naturally. Best thing is they had twin baby boys and she was early 40's when she fell pregnant.
The way I see it is that my chances are slim, after temping for a few months I know I'm doing what I should and use opk's to decide when I ovulate. I only temp every few months now as it becomes all consuming and not in a good way. I still poas from 10dpo but that negative reminds me not to get too excited. One day I will get a clear positive and so will you! Sometimes it is hard but if I stop altogether it will never happen.
Look after yourself first, don't wait until breaking point. Nurture your marriage, make a regular date night where each of you takes turns in deciding what to do. It doesn't have to be costly, naked picnic in your back garden, play a game and the looser has to do something 'special' for the other even taking a walk holding hands. It can even be done when he is away. The point is to make each other feel special, you have something nice to look forward to each week and it helps to pass the time in a positive and fun way.
Sending you billions of hugs and positive energy xxxx

Oh, Kerzie, that is SO very nice of you. Your words are really helpful for my mood and spirit right now, I can't thank you enough for the encouragement. I think we decided (many discussions these past few days) to try IUI for Jan/Feb and March and then, yes, maybe you are right. I won't give up but maybe we won't try so hard with the temping and etc, but still hope. HOPE! Wishing you a soon.

Hi franny,
We all go to 'that' bad place from time to time and sometimes it feels like drowning. All us ladies are going to hold your hand so you don't go under (I'm getting teary and emotional here).
I know one day soon you are going to be a wonderful mummy and all this struggle will be forgotten. In fact I will remind you of it when you have to do an emergency shop with a towel taped to your babies bottom (because you can't find those darn nappies your dh brought home the night before), after only minimum sleep and you notice on the drive that baby sick is clinging to your hair! Grin.
Until you feel a bit better, paddle in the bath while singing REALLY loud, draw pics of bfn on eggs and throw them as hard as you can (in a wooded area means no clean up, the critters do it for you), play an orchestra with wooden spoons and thing in your kitchen, .............
We will all help carry you their sweetie xxxxx