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Secondary Infertility - Aged 35.

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<-- These are the faces I make each time I get a and each time ugly AF shows up. I watch people come and go, getting their BFP's, yet I am still waiting. It's been 29 long cycles, I am now on my 30th cycle. My partner is desperate for his own baby and I feel like every month I am letting him down.
I am a YouTuber, and in one of our live pregnancy test videos, he literally cried so hard. I hate seeing what this is doing to him, I hate not being able to do the only thing my body could do - only a few years ago.

I am going to be using this as a journal to blog my emotions, my symptoms and god willing, my very own

Thank you for reading. Looking for cycle buddies!

I have started a blog - www.waitingimpatientlyforourblessing.blogspot.com

Cycle 30 - BFN
Cycle 31 - Currently 1DPO
Cycle 32 (Letrozole & Trigger) - ?


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92 Comments • 1 year ago • Edited


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Finally, my BBT!

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11 months ago • Post starter


MissPug, yes the break was nice. I think I DO see the line that you are hoping for on the Clear Blue! I have my fingers and toes crossed for you! You so deserve a BFP and healthy pregnancy!!!

As for me, I have no clue what’s up with my cycle. I believe that I am around 13dpo and AF, which is like clockwork, is 2-3 days late. I have been cramping for a week off and on, and a lot of burping (which happened when I was pregnant with my son). Took a test 2 days ago but was a BFN . I was told to wait a few more days a take another one. I don’t have my hopes up and I’m ready to throw in the towel and get AF over with to prepare for another cycle.

But OMG, that would be amazing if this cycle was the one for you I certainly hope it is!!


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11 months ago


Angyls19, Thank you! I'm trying to remain positive!
Have you re-tested? HCG doubles every 48 hours so it could show up now? Would be awesome to have you as a bump buddy! <3

The FRER is SMU - I will post another unedited. It is visible and it did come up straight away.

I'm starting to lose hope, some people have said my FRER is an indent / evap. You'd think after 17 years of POAS I'd know the difference eh? Really put me on a downer. :(

I'll watch for a BBT drop tomorrow and do another FRER with SMU to see if there's any progression, i am petrified. Beyond petrified. :(

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11 months ago • Post starter


Unedited photo...

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11 months ago • Post starter


Hmmm..... I could see why people might say that it’s an evap line, however, I kinda doubt you’d have them on all of your other ones, too. Your Clear Blue one looked pretty good to me! And I’m sure you would be able to tell given how knowledgeable you are about the whole process, including with your BBT.

I have never had a evap line on all of the ones I ever took. I actually thought about doing another test today, however, I started having a little brown spotting this evening. So I’ll wait a couple more days to see if the flow gets heavier to determine whether or not I take another one. No sense in wasting a test. Plus, I’m not super hopeful.

But yes, it would be wonderful to be bump buddies!


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11 months ago


Hope things are going ok on your end! Did you do another FRER or BBT?

As for me, I am anxious. Currently sitting at CD34 with no AF in sight. If I had a perfect cycle, with my ovulation on CD14, I would be at 19DPO today. If my ovulation was on CD17, as all of my apps are suggesting, then I would be at 16DPO. Currently experiencing extreme bloating, some gas, and my boobs started feeling a little heavy at times today. I also have a little bit of vaginal sensitivity as well. No additional spotting except for the TINY bit of brown spotting yesterday afternoon.

AF is currently about 4-5 days late. I don’t do BBT, so nothing to go by there. I’m deciding if I should test today or wait another day or two. If I haven’t a bfp or AF by the end of this month, I will be requesting to see a fertility specialist for some suggestions on what to do.

I’m so trying not to get my hopes up, because I feel like I do this every month, and I get nothing but a hard let down every time. I could just scream!


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11 months ago


Anglys19, You might not have ovulated! BBT could confirm that but you can get LH surges to ovulate and not actually ovulate, so maybe it's late due to that, or additional stress? Are you under stress at the moment? <3

I'm 12DPO, AF should arrive today, however my BBT has stayed high (it didn't dip again) and cheapie strips are looking a little darker. Definitely NO clear and good progression so I have a feeling this ones' going to be a missed miscarriage, which to be honest is usually the case with me!

I've deleted my Pregnancy + app, removed myself from all the 'Due in September' groups, I still have to look for threads on this forum and another I possibly joined or started and finally, change my tickers back over on those websites, and my blog.

Since the tests are really barely there now, I'm hoping I'm not waiting too long for the bleeding to start a new cycle. I am going to talk to my doctors next week about more tests etc. Also I didn't use my OTC progesterone cream yesterday so even more reason my BBT should have dropped. I hate these waiting games! But thank you for your support!

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11 months ago • Post starter


Just over an hour ago I had really intense sharp pains that lasted for about 15 seconds. I have just been to the toilet and as I wiped, I saw the pregnancy. Just like the other miscarriages I've had for this gestation. I am just waiting for the real bleeding to start.


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11 months ago • Post starter


For those that know me - I'm a very pro POAS advocate.

For absolute years I use the 'One Step' ovulation tests (and HPT's). I have recently discovered just how good the 'Easy@home' brand is. Thought I'd give them a try.

Considering I am 4DPO, I am surprised I am 'high' fertility. I thought after ovulation the LH surge was very minimal. Unless I am gearing up to ovulate which I don't usually have a second crack at.

I've also done a baseline HCG test so when the time comes - I know that their tests don't suffer the evil evaps, indents and dye runs that the one steps do.

Here's a photo of my 4DPO LH test.

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11 months ago • Edited • Post starter


UPDATE: 3rd February 2021.
Beta 1: 9th February: 43.
Beta 2: 11th February: 114. Progesterone started.

20th February 2021: We lost our rainbow.

I'm CD9, still bleeding although quite light now and brown.
My HPT's are now getting lighter. I may ovulate this cycle, but I think it'll be delayed. I have re-started taking my BBT to confirm if (or when) I'll ovulate this cycle.

I'm in two minds whether to actively try this cycle, I feel mentally if I was to fall pregnant and have ANOTHER miscarriage I worry what I'll do, this one nearly broke me. <3

Top photo: Wed/Thu.
Bottom: Saturday 27th Feb.

Testing OUT a pregnancy is the worst.

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9 months ago • Post starter



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