Community post
Dealing with a BFN
Hi there
This is our first month actively TTC, so I am new to the whole experience. I am 14dpo today and took a CB digital test this morning (fmu) and it came back a BFN. Thing is, for the past week I have been having all these weird symptoms and experiencing things I have never felt before in previous cycles (lower abdominal crams that started way early in my cycle, nausea, sore breasts, lower back pain, crazy mood swings, crying at nothing etc).
I am starting to think I am going crazy! Could I have imagined all these symptoms? Was it all in my head?
AF hasn't arrived yet, but the day is hardly over. My cycles are quite regular, and CB digital (I hear) is pretty accurate, so I am fairly sure she will rear her ugly head later today or tomorrow.
This is so disappointing. I can't believe we didn't conceive! We baby danced every single day of my fertile period this month. How could we have failed? Am I going to go through this every month? I feel like such a failure!
See, DH had a baby with another woman when he was in his early 20's. That baby was adopted, so she is not part of our lives, but I now feel like it is obviously my fault that we did not conceive. Did I leave it too late? I am 32. Please help me... I just want to cry
4 Replies • 12 years ago
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Replies
You're only on your first cycle. It takes more than one cycle for pretty much every couple. I think you need to take a deep breath and think you can try again next month.
I know that it can be disheartening, but you have to play a waiting game.
The symptoms you've been having are either probably in your head or just you're more sensitive to them because you want them to be there.
12 years ago
I hear you Susan! I am 34 and TTC for my first too. I got married at the beginning of March and am now in my third cycle of trying.
My sister got pregnant immediately both times she tried; my friend got pregnant first time a few months ago; another good friend got pregnant two months before her wedding accidentally as she thought it would take longer to get her fertility back after being on the Pill...
So I naively assumed that I could try for a honeymoon baby - it would be born before Christmas 2012 - all good! DH and I tracked my cycle using OPKs and BDed at the right times... I too felt ridden with really pronounced symptoms, and just "felt" pregnant.
I couldn't believe it when I got BFN after BFN. And it happened again last month too.
The only other people I know who didn't get pregnant first time had long or irregular cycles, and were diagnosed with cysts etc... my cycles have always run like clockwork!
But they do say there is only a 25% chance of a healthy couple conceiving each cycle, so I guess we'll just have to wait a bit longer.
But know you are not alone. Baby dust! xxxxx
12 years ago
Thank you very much for all the replies and support. It really helps to know I am not alone.
DH and I went away for the weekend, doing some real DINK'y (dual income no kids) stuff and this has helped to put things into perspective.
Yes, we want to have a child, but there is really no reason to get so stressed about it. We are going to try to just relax and have fun while we wait for it to happen. Not to mention having fun trying to make it happen! LOL!
Thanx again and baby dust to all!
12 years ago • Post starter
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