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Rant and Sensitive Matter

This is going to seem harsh to some but at this point this is how I feel.

Been TTCing 1 year and 2 month this time around. AF reared her head this morning. It was my second cycle on Clomid. I was really hoping this would be it, since my ob/gyn will only do 3 cycles of Clomid before sending me to a specialist. But my fiance and I are getting married in March and cant afford to pay for a wedding and the RE. So, if this cycle doesnt get me a BFP I am going to be devastated.

I have unexplained infertility.
I have normal hormone levels.
My tubes are clear.
My fiance has perfect sperm count, etc.
Doctor put me on Clomid to help with O in case my eggs were weak due to age. I am 35 and will be 36 in December.
NO KIDS never was protected and have never been pregnant in any of my relationships and trust me so have been hoping for a child since I turned 18. I did have a fiborid remove in January 2018.

I'm feeling defeated. I"m tired of hearing it will be in Gods timing, you still have time, oh I'm pregnant I wasnt trying. It will happen when you find the right guy. Guess what I have and still not pregnant.

I'm also feeling like unexplained infertility sucks worse than knowing why I'm infertile. At least there would be a reason for no BFPs. I've not even had a miscarriage or chemical pregnancy to know that my body might be able to be pregnant. I just wish there was a reason to not becoming pregnant.

I know I don't wish for a miscarriage or chemical and I am glad I haven't had one but this is how I feel. I feel cheated and feel like it will never be in the cards.

TTCing sucks big ones and I'm tired of not being the one who gets to share the news of two pink lines or with family and friends.


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5 Comments • 11 months ago


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I'm so sorry Bug

11 months ago


This infertility journey is so so hard. I'm so sorry you're struggling today, sending you positive vibes and hoping for the very best for you going forward.

11 months ago


I'm sorry bug I'll be praying for you


God Bless

11 months ago


Have you tried adding coq10 to your vitamins? I started last month. Was completely defeated this mo th because I had so much hope it would work. Even though I know it takes some time. As we age coq10 depletes in our system. It has been shown to help with egg quality. Also, I would check your vit D. It took 4 years of activity trying with my first, so I'm no stranger to the pain of ttc. Keep your head up though. I'm a form believer that if there are no major issues, you will have a baby, it just may take a little more time.


Mill

11 months ago


Thank you ladies.

@mill my vit D is great. All my levels are good. I have not tried CoQ10 but did try Ovaboost for two months before starting Clomid.

Trying to keep my head up. Just seems after 17 years of having unprotected sex in hopes if getting pregnant and a year of TTC in 2011-2012 and again this year and 3 months. I would have fallen pregnant especially in my younger years. All the men I was with have gone on to have babies after me. I just dont get it.


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11 months ago • Post starter


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