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My Dirty Little Secret(s)

I'm pretty new to all this TTC stuff. I didn't think that my new husband would ever come around to the idea of a child. He has always said that "two is enough". He is speaking of my two girls. He doesn't have children of his own, but embraces fatherhood to my girls with open arms. I knew he would be a great dad. Children adore him, and it just comes natural to him. This is why it was so hard to wrap my head around the idea that he was content without having children of his own, or at least a boy. I finally had a long talk with him. I have found that with my husband hints do not work. I needed to have a deep, deep heart to heart with him about all the "why's". Turns out, I can't aways get an "answer" right away. We talked about all the fears he had. I just left the conversation open and asked him to please think about things. I told him that I wanted this only if he wanted this too. I guess like all men he wants it to be his idea, his decision, and on his time. I guess he really thought about it because we are trying this month. Although, I don't know for how long our TTC journey will last. I have some fears that because it was such a hard decision for him that he may change his mind. My guess is that he wants it be be easy, and he knows me well enough to know that I can tend to go to the extreme with things (plannning our wedding etc.) So this is where my dirty secret comes in. I don't want to "expose" him to all the OPK/HPT/BBT and all. Granted, he is fully aware of everything but for fear of him feeling stressed or overwhelmed by it (Not to mention the ever dreaded eye roll). I feel the need to hide it or at least some of it. I can not for the life of me figure out why. Maybe just making it easier for him, makes it easier for me, or maybe I don't want him to think I'm crazy. I just had to get that out there. Any other "Closet Pee-On-A-Stickers"??

6 Comments • 12 years ago

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