Community post

Hi everyone, :)

Though I'm new to this site and forum, I thought I would stop in on this thread and say hello and good luck to all those TTC, especially with fertility issues.

I have 91 TTC cycles of under my belt. Yup...91.

My DH has MFI, and we were scheduled to go in for IUI on our 27th cycle when we were suprised to find out we were naturally pregnant. We have been trying for #2 since our daughter was 9 months old. She is now 5.5 years old. I am currently 2dpiui in our 65th(!) TTC #2 cycle, hoping this will be the only IUI we need.

I hope that my "assvice" doesn't offend anyone, because that's not what I want to do. I want to offer hope and perspective from a veteran infertile. I understand where everyone is coming from with their fears and anger.

Fear that you'll never get pg. Fear that you'll be the one left behind. Fear that you are becoming bitter towards your pg friends/family, especially those who complain.

Anger that it is so easy for everyone else. Anger that some people you know have had 2 or 3 kids in the time you've been trying for one. Anger that someone is using abortion as birth control, when every month passes you by without even a hint of hope.

I get it. I've been there. But I heard something once, that I took to heart, and made my motto. It has helped me keep this journey in perspective, because this is indeed a journey.

'Try not to be so focused on your destination that you end up missing the scenery along the way.'

I know that it is easier said than done for sure, especially after the first few months of TTC, when the realization that there may be a problem is setting in. I know it is hard to be around pregnant woman (most definitely harder to be around the ones who got pg easily and are complaining), but it helped me to realize that they really are naive to our struggles and pain, because they have never had to think about it.

I found that it was better for me to speak my mind politely than to stew in resentment. I told my pg SIL that I'd take her complaints about pg in a heartbeat...she got the message.

I found it easier on my heart and health to live my life to it's fullest instead of putting it on hold waiting for that elusive BFP. I don't mean to stop TTC, not at all, keep trying, sharing and cheerleading fellow IFers.

I'm not saying "just relax", that is just a platitude that someone says when they don't know what else to say.

I guess what I'm trying to say is don't let IF beat you. Don't let it win. Keep on the journey, stay on the road, but check out the scenery in your life as it passes by too.

*hugs*

Mel

@mel ...91 cycles hun i dont know how you stay so positive im struggling after 14, your words were lovley , thanks for sharing your advice.

this month me and dp are trying to be positive , he had a meltdown last night and broke down in tears , he says he doesnt talk bout it too much , as he feels he has to be strong for me as im often down and all negative.he said he feels like half a man as he cant give me what i want.i do sometimes forget that he is feeling all this too.

i think he thinks all i ever go on about is ttc , he may be right it has become an obsession really , i want to chill out and enjoy life at the same time as ttc#2.

this forum is my ranting /talking place ...thanx ladies

~Mel- I really enjoyed your post. Sorry you've been through so many cycles!!! You are right about enjoying the scenery. I talk to a lot of these ladies on other threads and I can vouch that generally we are much more positive, happy people. This is just the thread we turn to when we are feeling our negative emotions. It's kind of a sanctuary where we can release the negative without feeling guilty of offending those blessed with no fertility troubles or guilty of just being a "Debbie Downer." I know for myself, I love life, and I try to find the positives about my problems when I can. Like last night I was able to dance for hours with my girlfriends which I know I won't be able to do once I'm pg or a mother. But when I'm feeling down again, I know I can come here and I hope you will feel you can safely come here too if you ever feel frustrated.

Today's confession (more of a funny one actually)- I've started imagining pg symptoms last night and today even though I know I didn't O this month and there are more logical, non-pregnancy causes to the symptoms I have right now

Oh my did I ever miss a lot!!

Aisha - LOL!!! I am only 3dpo and have been imagining symptoms! It's like a game! Haha!

lisserb - I completely agree with what you said about enjoying the scenery I am actually a VERY positive person. This is just our page we come to complain to, like Aisha (pookerdooks) said. We come on here to let all the frustration out so we can keep our lives more upbeat

Hope you all are doing well... sorry I didnt have time to read through everything!! LoL!

Having a place to vent is definitely a good thing and I've certainly had my not-so-proud moments of self pity. ;)

One of my uncles step daughter has had a couple of abortions that I know of, even after I'd mentioned that we would adopt any unwanted babies to my uncle. She is now pregnant again, due this summer with one she's actually going to keep. That one stung for sure.

I hope to get to know everyone here better.

Good Luck to all!

p.s.

For the first time in a long, long time, I'm micro analyzing every little twinge...totally psychosomatic, since I'm only 3dpiui, so I'm right there with you Aisha. :)

lisserb- i agree with what you said and like all the other ladies said this is just my venting place but thanks for joing the thread im sending lots of baby dust your way!

pookerdooks- lol i was already have symptoms and i thought i was fixing to O this month but i think it ws just a fluke with my OPKs cause when i got some Answer OPKs today and used them they were no where close to O

Expecting- you didnt miss too much lol.

baby dust to all you ladies and thanks for being here for me to vent i really appreciate being able to talk to such nice ladies that know what im going through.

I agree - Mel - Great reminders!

However....LOL I have a CONFESSION!

Today while walking out of "Best Buy" (electronics store), a homeless woman who appeared to be 9 months pregnant with an infant in a stroller asked me for money. This is the first time I didn't feel sorry for a homeless person. I felt anger.

confession today!!!! I hate doctors, so went to my gp yesterday to see if i could get some prometrium/progesterone and he said no as he does not want to step on the f.s. toes. i told him that trying to get the hsg is a crap shoot and is not going to happen for bout 4 months. once again he tells me i'm young and healthy ahem im 34 almost 35!!!! I am tired of being pushed over by doctors and them not taking me seriously.. don't they see how desperate i am!!!! the only thing he sugessted is that i go to the hospital here and go to the ultrasound lab and tell them i'm frustrated and would really like to get in,but he laso said well this is our medical system and you just have to be patient. i have been patient long enough 15 months worth. its like the whole world is against me having a baby. he also chucked me 2 months of b.c. and said maybe this will regulate your hormones a bit,but you can;t do the hsg with b.c. in your system. OMG I'm trying to have a baby here people not prevent it for another 2 months.....

@aroma

I'm new here, so I'm not familiar with your IF details, but have you researched any natural progesterone supplements?

Right after I read your post, I came across this article (searching for something completely unrelated) and it made me think of you!

http://www.solveyourproblem.com/natural-health/benefits_of_flaxseed_oil.shtml

"For women trying to get pregnant, the lignin's found in flaxseed can promote natural ovulation and extend the progesterone dominant second half of the cycle. Consistent ovulation improves their chances of conception."

Flaxseed oil pills would probably be the most convenient, but have to be stopped as soon at BFP, since it can interfere with the pg.

Food for thought. :)

The thing is I ovulate,and am pretty regular except for last month 18 day cycle,but my p.g. levels are low and they won't do anything till i get the hsg test to see if there are any blockages,which who knows maybe i do!! but thank you for thinking of me. the other thing is is you canot have anything in your system to get the hsg even natural stuff,just a multivitamin. so im stuck until i get this thing done.