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thank you ladies so much for yalls support i dont know that i would make it if it werent for you all!

kristine i do believe ill have a drink with you! we need it. it has been a hell of a ride for all of us! im so sorry about your blocked tubes but you know what??? we are fighters and we are not going to give up till we get our babies!!!!

there has to be something they can do but i deffinatly get where your coming from money wise because i cant afford alot of those procedures due to insurance (dont have none anymore) and bens had a good idea about surrogacy but if you are anything like me (ive had plenty offers and bids from friends and family wanting to be my surrogate) i want to carry my own baby, fell them kick and watch them grow inside of me. and i wont feel complete until that happens.

i dont know if you are a religious person but i will deffinatly keep you in my prayers just as i do all these wonderful ladies on here. we are all here for you. feel free to inbox me if you want we cant rant and curse and be mad together

Kristine and Shea- I'm so sincerely sorry for you both. I am honestly crying for both of you

I really wish I could make you all feel better, but I can't. All I can say is that I will be praying for all of you, as I already am.

I'm sure I am the last person you want to hear from right now but please know I am here for you all still as you were for me.

Love always,
Aisha

Aisha dont feel bad that you are pregnant! it is a wonderful gift and yes it did sting when when i first read that you were (mainly because i had just went to the BR and seen AF showed) but i am sincerly happy for you. i truley am! and you are not the last person i want to hear from (that would be MIL ) so dont feel like you are hurting my feelings by being pg it was just your time and not mine. i understand that. and im estatic for you! you are such a nice and deserving person and you do deserve that BFP . thank you for your many prayers and all i ask is that you keep praying as i will be for you and your bean! so and

lots of !!!!!!

Shea

you are going to be a wonderful mother Aisha!!!!!!!!!

Hi,

To Kristine and Nurse so sorry to hear the news but we are here for you and you both have plenty of fight left in you so don't give up.

AFM - I am living in serious guilt (may god forgive me for my ways). yesterday I camplained that BFF asked me to with her to her u/s I said I would as i'm her bff and her OH couldn't make it. Arrived at her place 7:30 helped get her youngest ready to come with us and her 2 year old ready to go to her mums, dropped them off at 8, got at the hospital in plenty of time. I'm sitting there thinking please let this be over quickly as sitting in amongst a room of pregnant women made me feel shit. Went in, got her comfy, nurse started but as soon as I saw her starting a second sweep of bff's uterus I knew. Sadly she has miscarried (this is her 10th miscarriage) I felt so awful about being so jealous of her and not really wanting to be there. So we had to stay and do the usual tests to try and find out what happened. But what really got me was when she said that she was soo glad it was me that was with her, I could barely look her in the eye thats how guilty I felt Sorry for the downer.

your not a downer, thats why we are here,because its not easy allthe time to be positive... im not positive at all right now and don't even feel like going to work or fuctioning... the only thing that im positive on is the fact that im POSITIVE i won't ever have kids... hubby said why you being so quiet and i told him before breaking down in tears that the hsg wasn't good and my tubes are blocked,and the chances of having a child are nil,then told him that by the end of july we are over and i am moving out.. he said great so thats what i get from this,and i said so what i gotta stay and help raise YOUR kids and have a daily reminder of what i can't and won't ever have.. i figure if i remove myself from the ttc situation then i know i won't think about it... if he had o kids i could deal and stay with him but i can't... oh ya and how this i find all this out mothers day weekend...Happy mothers day (if i had a middle finger emoticons it would be placed right here)!!!!!!

Aw kristine I do feel for you sweet, having blocked tubes is not easy. did your doc give you a follow up on the tube that isn't completely blocked? Is it really over between you an DH or am I reading this wrong? (could be me I have a tendancy to get the wrong end of the stick) I understand about if he had no kids it makes you feel better than having the fact he's fine right under your nose 24/7. Try and take some time off for Personal reasons, relax and go do something you enjoy. you can send me a private message if you want to talk privately with a starnger half the world away lol xx

i told him a while back that if i could not have a child with him then it has to be over for us... it is and always will be too hard to stay here and deal with all this crap... i am a constant mind thinker and i will resnt him for having children and then treat him like crap,its better if we split up cuz then he can find someone who will treat him the way he desrves to be treated. i can sometimes be a very mean and hurtful person. the other thing is is that i put off having a child cuz i always thought about him and his feelings,i didn't want to be the one who took all the things away from him just because i wanted a child,he had sacrificed enough,well i sacrificed things for 7 yrs and now its too late for me.i am very angry that i did what i did and im never a selfish person,but the 1 time i decide to be selfish,i don't get what i want anyways.. i just want to live alone and only think and worry about myself at the moment.. i have completley shut down to him and i can't help it its just the way i feel.

Hey, We can all be really mean and hurtful at times believe me I can be the queen of mean when I want to be lol or sometimes hormones take over and I can't help it. 7yrs is a long time to be together and go through these things but if it doesn't make you happy then it's not good. Space and time to yourself wont do you any harm jst make sure it's what you want, not others what you want and need. I have had to rebuild my life once before it is not easy but it made me the person I am today and I love that. You will always have us to talk to even if it's not baby related. xx Hope this helps xx

Hi ladies!

Sorry I tried to catch up on everyone but i ended up just skimming cause I missed so much! Dh and I have been working on our bathroom every free moment and until yesterday we though he was leaving next week! But thankfully he isnt so we dont have to rush (as much) on the washroom.

I am so sorry to all the ladies that the got this cycle. & Congrats to anyone who got a bfp!

aroma - I am so sorry sweetie! I can't even imagine what you must be feeling right now! I am sending lots of & 's your way! I hope the doc can find an affordable answer so you can be a mommy.

Well I will try to check in more regularly... should be easier next week when dh is back at work!

Kristine, I think you should wait a little while to make any decisions about your relationship. You are just too upset right now to look at it clearly. If you love him enough to want to have his baby then you do not need to end it. I know that it kills my husband to see me cry and to see me upset over this, your partner probably feels the same way. Don't shut him out right now. You both are going to need each other.

To everyone - I am dreading Mother's Day so badly. I am starting the clomid tomorrow, which gives me some hope, but I am still furious that I am not pregnant yet. There are horrible mothers out there that will be getting cards and flowers on Sunday, but not me. I will have to make due with a lick on my face from my dogs and a hug from my husband who will say that next year it'll be different.
I am still staying off of FB. I can't handle all of the smug comments about what a blessing it is to be a mother when I know that a good 1/3 of those women have NO CLUE what a blessing it really is.
I am dreading going to church on Sunday because every year the pastor has all of the mothers stand up to be applauded. Will I ever get to stand up?
I know the statistics on Clomid. I know that it doesn't work for 40% of women. I imagine that hearing that statistic to me is what it must feel like for someone who wants to win a gold medal in the olympics for running would feel like if they were told that there was a 40% chance that they might have to amputate their legs. It irritates me when people say that not having a child isn't the worst thing that could happen, because for someone who has only wanted to be a wife and mother their whole life it is the worst thing that could happen.
I just needed to get some of that out. I hope everyone is hanging in there.